After a quick phone call from Mac&Cheese, Curtis and I took Tempest with us downtown to the bridal store so I could try on some dresses. I lied through my teeth about the circumstances, because if I told her I was only looking so I could memorize a pattern to give to the woman who is making the dresses, and had absolutely no intention of buying, she probably wouldn’t have liked me very much. She asked tons of questions about my price range, and whether or not the bride was paying. I answered ‘yes’ to all the questions I thought would make her happy.

Tempest sat quietly on the floor the whole time (1hr), playing with her Leo slippers and babbling. The owner of the bridal shop kept saying, “She’s such a good baby! I wish all the babies who came in here were this good. Usually they scream.” See, this is why everyone thinks we’re big cry-babies about her being high needs. She never lets anyone else see her flip out or have temper tantrums. When Curtis’ parents were visiting? Perfect angel. Slept wonderfully, barely fussed. When we visited a friend? Angel. Went to sleep with no trouble, cried once in two days. When I had my hair cut? Flirtatious little princess. Not a peep. I think the only solution is to go live at someone else’s house.

Most of the dresses on the rack were in sizes 10+, and the woman there had no pins. I felt like I really was playing dress up, because they hung off me. Two dresses were in my size (2) but my chest is a size 12 and when I was zipped up my cleavage became a chin rest. I stepped out and Curtis gave me a lecherous look. He suggested the dress might take away from the bride. The assistant assured me the dress could be altered.

I’m fond of a cross-over top style, with small straps. It looks nice, and the woman who is making the bridesmaid dresses is the bride’s mother and is going to personalize them. I can ask her to make the cross-over out of a flexible material that I could easily pull aside to nurse in. Tempest will be over a year old when my friend gets married, so chances are she’ll be nursing much less than she is currently.
A nursing bridesmaid’s gown. I know so many women who would get such a kick out of that.

I need a strapless bra in my size, because the only two bras I own that fit are not acceptable under a gown. They’re all super-support, and have all sorts of extra pieces of fabric here and there that would show up under any gown.

So began the search for a good bra. The bridal shop carries nothing above a C. They don’t order anything above a D. She told me to go to the lingerie shop, or perhaps the adult novelty store. We went to the lingerie shop first. Nope, nothing above a D. However, she could order something. She took down my name and said she’d do her best, but couldn’t guarantee she could find something in my price range.
Next stop, the adult toy store. I did not have high hopes for this place. However, she had not one, but THREE catalogues from Europe that sold bras in my size. The biggest obstacle was finding a strapless. I told her that something with t-shirt style straps, or small straps would probably be just fine and I could get around it.
While we browsed catalogues Curtis wandered the store and looked around. Tempest had fallen asleep in the jogger. It feels weird bringing your baby into a sex shop.

Tempest woke up as we were leaving, then fell asleep again on the walk home. When she’s in the jogger, she’ll often brace her hands on either side like she’s flying forward at faster-than-light speeds, then she makes this grumpy face the whole trip. She fell asleep like that – clinging to the stroller sides with her grumpus face. I snapped a photo. We’d taken the digitial camera along in hopes of covertly taking a photo of me in the dress so I could remember what I looked like. But, the lady watched us like a hawk so that wasn’t an option…

About 15 minutes after we got home my father called and invited us for dinner.

He baked cookies, and we watched Farscape. He says he’s liking it more as the episodes go along, and the further they get from the acting/dialogue of the premier, the more he enjoys himself. We watched “DNA Mad Scientist” and “They’ve got a Secret”.
As we were packing up to go shortly after finishing the second episode, I placed Tempest’s new Disney Princess hat on her head. Curtis’ mother bought it for her, and it’s very soft and kind of cute looking, if not obscenely girlish. It has a weird looking knot/bow on the top.

My father pointed to her and said, “It’s a D’Argo baby! Like the D’Argo baby from the photo, holo, image, picture thing. Except someone has tied her tenkas in a knot.”
It made me happy that he’s using Farscape slang. I’ll make a full-fledged fan out of him yet.
The whole ride home was filled with D’Argo jokes.

Tempest adores him so much. All he has to do is walk in our door and she just lights up. Her face beams with a beautiful baby smile, and she waves her arms and legs excitedly, squealing in delight just at the mere thought that he could come and pick her up.
It thrills me to see her love him so much. He wanted so much to be a grandfather, or ‘grampa with an m’, as he prefers. I remember once, years ago while he comforted me after my first miscarriage, he said something that really struck me. “I can’t wait to be a grandfather,” he was quiet for a moment, and then continued, “It’s a role I can’t screw up.” I had nothing to say at the time. A year later I wrote him a very long, very emotional letter about how proud of him I was… I mentioned that moment. He wrote me back and said he cried, that my words made him feel ‘big inside’. I love the way we banter. I’ve missed being able to see him on a regular basis.

And I can’t help but laugh every time he walks in our door with hands shaking, announcing, “It’s crazy grampa time!” And Tempest squeals and shrieks in anticipation.

~:) Babs



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