Quick court update

I couldn’t possibly wait to post this, but boy did landlady ever hang herself today. While I know the arbitrator (who was a woman, and therefore seemingly far less likely to be naked in front of a computer full of pornography while on the phone) is required to stir up both parties and not come to a decision right there on the phone, she left the conversation by saying she was “Strongly leaning toward cancelling the eviction” for numerous reasons, and regardless of plans to leave in the future it would “not be in the best interest” for us to leave because we are a “family of five, and finding accommodations can be difficult”. Thank god for that. So, yeah, feelin’ pretty confident right now.

Curtis did the phone thing while I watched Zephyra, because I was so terrified that I thought I might either throw up or spontaneously burst into hysterical tears and neither is really conducive to a phone call court date. Curtis handles pressure and stress way, way better than I do so he took it upon himself to be the representative.
Landlady got herself an advocate, who was not actually a professional advocate (the arbitrator asked him right away where he worked, and he admitted he worked nowhere… bwa ha ha!) and yet still managed to not stick to her story and make an ass of herself over and over again. I mean really even though she’s a passive aggressive weirdo, she’s always struck me as someone who generally is pretty organized and has her shit together so I am legitimately surprised by her complete inability to get shit done over this. I mean, at the very least she could have stuck to her original story.
She had to be interrupted over, and over, and over (and over) to be told that random tangents she went on were not at all pertinent to the eviction/court/phone call and she needs to stick to the topic at hand. She was asked why she had no evidence of written complaints, conversations, or attempts at mediation with us over any of the alleged issues and had no response. I mean literally either silence, or variants on, “Well, uh… because”.
And ten minutes into the conversation, when the second major issue came up (damages) she literally said – LITERALLY SAID – “Well, the damages aren’t actually bad or extreme in any way. It’s just a bunch of little stuff that’s built up over time.” Literally. Actually. And the arbitrator goes, “Well okay, that’s off the list” and landlady’s advocate desperately tries to take it back and explain that she didn’t mean to say that and he swears there’s thousands of dollars of work to be done to “get it up to her standards” (of which she cannot provide any evidence of, either photographic, written or spoken). The arbitrator reminded her that it’s her fucking responsibility to actually answer us when we call in little things, fix them, touch them up, repair them, or ask us to take care of them… or if we’re not communicative she needs to do regular inspections and walk-throughs so she can identify and fix any problems, rather then let it all sit for years and years which is exactly what she’s done (though, even she seemed to initially agree that the “damages” weren’t actually anything more than regular wear and tear).

When asked why she included things in the evidence packet that aren’t even on her original eviction notice, or that she herself has admitted “don’t matter” she responded, “I don’t know”.
When asked straight up, “And what did you do to help mediate or communicate these alleged problems when they came up?” she also responded, “Well, it was hard and I didn’t know how” (Um… call? And then, like, talk?). The arbitrator then told her that it appeared that she did nothing, because it either didn’t matter or she was saving it up, and then her first attempt to communicate any alleged problems was to serve an eviction notice years and years and years down the line. She was reminded that this, is in fact, not what you are supposed to do. NO SHIT.

Oh, and she tried to claim the carpet was two years old. TWO YEARS OLD! But had no evidence to support this. Just like literally every other claim she made against us. This is probably because the last people that were in here, who lived here 9 years, had the carpet throughout their tenancy. I know because we were friends with them until they moved away from the area a few years ago, and because landlady herself told us it was here when she took possession of the property and both units half-way through the previous people’s tenancy and it was really old even then.
I just. What. I mean, I’m glad she’s done this but I’m so bewildered that she couldn’t even stick to her own story. She even dropped half the issues on the original list and made up new ones right there on the spot.

So, that’s what you get for trying to kick people out for no fucking reason other than you wanting to renovate the place with the intent to raise the rent (which she literally, all but said verbatim, and was called on). Man oh man. What a circus. We’ll hear the final statement in a matter of days or a week or something, but we’re feeling pretty good right now.

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