Yeah, what she said

I’m quick to anger lately.  I need more sleep, more patience, less emotion.

This is less for OD and more for just purpose of ranting.

I have never, not once, believed or meant in any way to convey that I believe people who don’t breastfeed, don’t co-sleep, or CIO are evil, wrong people who should be burned at the stake. I have never told someone I think they’re wrong or making a horrible choice, even if deep down I felt they were (which I have only felt in very extreme, abusive or neglectful situations).  I offer information because many don’t know it, and it is highly misunderstood.  I have never gone about wishing for someone to feel guilty.  I don’t intend to change anyone’s mind.  I believe in informed choices.

There was a thread that I read recently talking about how misunderstood AP mothers are. They’re labelled as militant nazis, martyrs, smother mothers, and a variety of bad names.  Usually, the people who make these claims know very little about the AP philosophy, and even less about the people they’re accusing.  Very few AP mothers I know ‘hate’ people who make different choices, but of course there’s bad apples in every barrel.  They’re just very confident, and (at least most) of the women I know who AP are very well read and if they see someone in trouble (“My doctor says I can’t breastfeed because…”) will eagerly offer support and information.  This is often taken as someone trying to slam beliefs down another’s throat… As though any response but, “It’s okay, lots of women can’t” is self-rightous.  I have so much to rant on about that, but I won’t. I’m too exhausted to type without too much emotion, and then my message will be misunderstood.

I also want to say how much it aggravates me that people treat doctors, the AAP and otherwise as gods.  I’m not saying they’re wrong and bad, in fact I think they have good ideas, good reccomendations and fairly good guidelines – I’m just saying that I personally feel no one should put 100% their trust in corporations.  The AAP gets ‘donations’ of over $500’000 a year from formula companies, doctors get paid extra to hand out samples, Nestle helps build nurseries in hospitals stationed as far away from the maternity ward as they can (Ref: “Milk, money and Madness”)… many coporations have an angle.

The people who funded commercials promoting how good cow’s milk is, are dairy farmers.  The people who fund studies about how bad co-sleeping is, sell cribs.  The people who promote who safe and effective vaccines are, are pharmasutical companies.  See a pattern?  I don’t think my way is 100% right all the time for absolutely everyone.  I think it’s right for us, and I’d like to tell people why when they ask, or spread misinformation about it (because unfortunately AP is very misunderstood).  I’d like to correct someone who has made an error, or offer information for someone who needs help.  But I have no desire to convert people by way of guilt and name-calling.  That accomplishes nothing but forcing someone into something they aren’t comfortable with, and above all you should be comfortable with what you do.  With hope, comfortable enough not to feel guilty when faced with a parent who choose another option. 

I’d like to connect with people who think like I do (don’t we all?), I like to debate with those who don’t, I’d like to show others why I feel the way I do when they accuse me of damaging my child.  It annoys me that people think I’m trying to manipulative.  A book, a stranger, or some woman on a park bench breastfeeding doesn’t make you feel guilty, somewhere along the line you choose guilt – and your task is to find out where that’s coming from. 

A good example is a diarist who posted a link to an article about how dairy is unhealthy.  Curtis and I both know that dairy is not particularly good for you, the additives in milk, that it can make you very sick, and so on. It’s not hard to realize cow’s milk was made for cows.  But, we eat dairy.  We made an informed choice, and don’t feel threatened or guilty when someone starts talking about how bad it is.  Good for them for choosing not to, I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t mean to drink milk, I can’t stop drinking milk, I can’t help it, or be a snit and start off about how this person is lying.  I’d much, much rather be informed and choose otherwise, then be ignorant and do it just because everyone else does, and the Dairy Farmers say it’s good for me.

— Babs



Categories: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply