The evolution of blog

I’ve been blogging in one form or another since ’99, and began my journey on a site almost no one has ever heard of called [ Open Diary ]. In fact a mirror of my blog still exists there today, and continues to be updated because I can’t bring myself to leave the site for sake of a sense of nostalgia and loyalty.
After a few false starts and a lot of lurking, sometime late that year I finally decided to create my first official diary and write in it regularly. It was just prior to Curtis moving to Canada, and was some months following what I then considered one of the worst things to ever happen in my life: my first pregnancy, and subsequent miscarriage. I was under a lot of stress and was in the midst of that simultaneously terrifying and exciting experience of learning to live after dragging myself out of a lifetime of serious mental illness, medical mismanagement and institutional abuse… so I was really in need of some form of personal therapy.

I only decided to start this diary after a close friend pushed me to; she had created her own a few months earlier and felt like it was a really good medium for journaling. She had all of one or two readers, and no regular noters, and this was the case for most of the people on the site. The community was quite small and still growing, and blogging itself wasn’t really that big yet so no one was starting one simply for the sake of numbers; it was about being able to release your shit out into the universe. And maybe even find a kindred spirit or two.
So, I started writing. I wrote about my feelings of loss and how badly I wanted children. I wrote about recovery from mental illness and my past suicide attempts. I wrote about my mom’s health, about the supersized household I lived in with most of my family, and ongoing attempt to repair my relationship with my father. I wrote about being desperately in love with the man I wanted to spend my life with, and feeling confused about my sexuality after a lifetime of being solely attracted to women (although, I tended to write that part rather coded). I wrote about primary infertility and the fears I had about never bearing healthy children due to pituitary dwarfism, and all the problems that come with it.

At first no one  read or commented other than the friend who brought me there in the first place, but slowly I began to meet more people and find other people to read, some of whom even had struggles very similar to mine. More readers meant more friends and more cool people to meet… but it also meant I attracted the odd critic or troll who felt uncomfortable or threatened by the topics I wrote about. My first memorable experience with this was with someone who opened up an entirely new journal for no other purpose than to write entries about how I should not have children because I had a history of mental illness, depression and trauma. I was told I was insane and deserved to live out my life in an institution. I was told my boyfriend didn’t really love me, and that I didn’t really love him. I was told I was ugly, crazy, selfish, stupid and a faker. I got called a faker often in the beginning: it was definitely the insult of choice on that site and most diarists got it from time to time no matter how much, or little, they shared.  Not to excuse the behavior, as I don’t think trolling people is excusable for any reason, but some of the accusations probably came from the fact that I had not yet found my blogging rhythm. I didn’t know how to journal in a story-telling format, with history and context woven in, which made my life difficult to follow. Various people, events, or important facts would pop up at random times; stories would be mentioned in passing and then condensed or fleshed out months later for no other reason than I didn’t think about it. I didn’t need the context because it was my own life, so I didn’t provide it. It took a few years for me to adjust to this and get better at writing for myself, while also being aware that there was an audience listening. Once I got developed a blogging style, the ‘faker’ trolling all but disappeared and I was able to really, truly enjoy having a blog.

The handful of friends and site regulars who read and commented stayed the same for years and years, all the way up until 2005 when Jericho died. Then it exploded. I have no idea if these people were there all along reading quietly, or thousands were referred by others and then decided to stick around.
Gifts and donations started pouring in along with overwhelming support and love for me and my family. Groups of amazing people banded together to create very special gifts that were truly made from their hearts. These things meant the world to me during a very dark time: I felt like I wasn’t alone, and I will cherish not only those gifts but also every kind word and shared story for as long as I live.
For the first time I had a real audience, and some amount of infamy, and it was amazing as it was to feel that love and support… it was also kind of frightening. I no longer had the ability to befriend every regular, reply to every note or email or message, and even reading through them every day was something I had to schedule in. Still, it was overwhelmingly positive.

Now, along with the newfound fame there was a small, but notable, surge of two different types of “bad” readers. The first is obvious: the troll. The more popular someone becomes in a circle, the cooler some people will feel when they loudly and publicly express how much they don’t like that person. You don’t get any cool points for disliking a random stranger, but you can feel like you’re badass when you troll someone that you believe everyone else loves.  Because really, what’s the point of grumbling about it if no one sees how epicly nonconformist you are? Saying, “I hate John from the grocery store” just doesn’t hold the same value as saying, “I hate Sandra Bullock, she’s phony and unattractive” when you’re trying to feel better about yourself and impress people.
The other type is the obsessive fangirl. This type of reader goes way beyond seeing the blogger as a cool person they like, and instead sees them as a character; an identity or an idea rather than a living, feeling human being who is actually experiencing the things they write about. It’s like getting attached to a character on your favourite TV show. So when this person feels their favourite character is not doing what they want, or expect, them to do; or they feel like they’re not getting enough fanservice… they throw tantrums or write in and complain.
I find these kinds of people a lot worse than trolls. Trolling is predictable and mundane, but these people can get really fucking creepy.

Fortunately the latter doesn’t happen that often, maybe once every couple of months… but sometimes there are changes, events or topics that I write about that seem to set these people off. This is particularly true with life events that I write about over long periods of time, or broken up over several entries. While it may not seem like it I’m actually not that much of a share-er, and have an extremely difficult time leaning on people, asking for support or even admitting (let alone discussing) issues that feel stressful or overwhelming. While it’s happening I’m usually very quiet, and only talk about it or reach out once I’ve distanced myself from it enough that it is no longer big and scary (so, pretty much only when I no longer need said support). The thing is that during these times I’m still feeling the need to express myself and write about it because it’s therapeutic – I need that – but I’m not ready to go into every detail yet. The compromise is being vague or cryptic as I talk myself through it, or just plain leave shit out when it’s pretty obvious there’s more going on.
Most readers are normal people and understand this without an explanation: they offer support, love or share their own stories and goings on as part of helping another. Or they just read along quietly.
And then some people aren’t like that. They’ll act like these kinds of entries are cliffhangers, or maybe poorly written episodes of a sitcom with giant gaping plot holes. And they want – nay, are entitled to – a full explanation. They paid their cable bill, so where’s the goods? They want this given to them in the form of extra details, information or context that I’m clearly not ready (or willing) to give out. Some just ask and then leave it alone, which is fine; but others harass, insult, threaten, bribe or otherwise try to force me outside my comfort zone so they can feel more satisfied with what’s going on in my life or the lives of people around me.

When this happens, and people get pushy, I push back. I set boundaries, and I enforce them. This is what had to happen in regards to Marika’s baby’s name. She has a name, but Marika hasn’t publicly announced it, and I’m not going to be doing that before she’s ready, nor am I going to be knocking on her door every day telling her that people on the internet are impatient with her and geez, could you fucking hurry yourself for their sake?
And like I said, 95% of you are normal people, there’s just an increasingly dipshitty 5% that are getting increasingly aggressive and inappropriate about it.

This is the bottom line when it comes to this kind of thing:
My family and I are not characters on a TV show. We doesn’t have writers, or character arcs, or a media campaign promoting life events that reminds us how important it is to keep the audience satisfied by giving them what they want.

Being curious, being interested, being impatient or even feeling emotionally invested in the life of a blogger you really enjoy reading is cool. Feeling close to that person (even if you don’t know them personally), wanting to know what’s going on in their life or becoming friends with them, is cool. Being excited, or sad, or happy or scared for them is cool. Feeling intense feelings about events in their life, or feeling like you *totally get them* is cool too. Expressing that in an appropriate way is cool. That makes you a totally normal person. I like these people, and I like hearing from them.
Being the kind of person who is kind and generous and wants to help friends, family or even perfect strangers feel better about shitty situations is even more cool: that makes you an awesome person! Do you give money to homeless people? Yay! Do you give to charity? Yay! Do you give your gently used clothes and household supplies to thrift store or shelters? Double yay! Do you donate to tiny fundraisers designed to help teen moms realize they’re loved and supported even when their insane family members have practically disowned them? Triple yay! That makes you a kickass person!

But… do you then feel that the people you were kind to – especially if they’re strangers – now owe you things; like personal information, friendship, gifts, sex or anything else? Not fucking cool.

Be a kind person and do kind things because you want to put kindness out into the universe, don’t do it as a bribe. Regardless of how public someone’s life is, and no matter what you give them (be it nice comments, your subscription, gifts, or even financial support) they do not owe you anything, nor should they. That’s not how being kind works.
Thanking someone for their contribution and nice act is polite, but really we’re not even owed that and shouldn’t require it in order to be nice to others. And if you’re the kind of person who feels like you are entitled to things in return… OR ELSE… is a really shitty thing to do to people regardless of the situation.

This is a really good example of “Mr. Nice Guy” syndrome: the way some young men believe they’re sooooo nice and just don’t get why the girls they fawn over, obsess over and blatantly disrespect the wants, needs, and personal boundaries of aren’t throw themselves at them in return. (Hint: it’s because the guy wasn’t nice. He’s a narcissistic selfish sexist creep).
And just like those girls are not machines you can put kindness tokens into until sex falls out, bloggers are not machines you can put kindness tokens into until friendship falls out.

Those who contributed to helping a young woman feel supported and beloved in a time of need: you’re awesome, thanks for that. As was said in a previous post, it moved her to tears and she’ll never forget it as long as she lives. I hope she continues to only have positive associations with it. But just because you contributed, or read regularly, or leave supportive comments to me or to her doesn’t mean you’re somehow invited to be inside our personal boundaries and get to act aggressive, rude and nasty about getting information you feel you’re “owed”.
So really, if that is something you identify with then you’re an entitled dipshit, and you won’t be missed.

I’m an oversharer, and I like myself that way, but that doesn’t mean I am devoid of boundaries. I do have them, and when I feel like people are pushing me too far, I will enforce them. Period.
Even if you sent me a lovely card after my son died. Even if you contributed to a gift for my sister. Even if you bought something from me. Even if you know me in real life and are my best and closest friend… I will not “owe” you information that I am not comfortable giving out. And my saying so is not an invitation to insult, stalk or harass me until you get what you want. I’m a real live person behind this blog.

I appreciate the continued support of all the rest of you guys: you’re awesome friends, you write awesome blogs, you’re super nice readers and generally cool people and it’s really sad that these few assholes are ruining it for everyone else and making something as joyous as naming a baby become awkward and creepy. Hopefully these few people will realize they’re being entitled fucks by demanding that because they contributed to a kind gift, they deserve to get information out of Marika regardless of her desire to give it; and instead back off so we can get back to celebrating a new little life and just enjoy the cuteness.
The stupidest part out of all of this is that she doesn’t have a problem sharing: she’s just not announced it publicly and I’m not going to rob her of that by doing it first.
I can only hope these people don’t treat others in their lives like this as well, I imagine it wouldn’t work out too well for them in the real world either.

Comments

comments

39 Comments

  • Heather C. says:

    I have primarily been a lurker, from early on in LJ. I enjoy reading your blog, because you write it extremely well and put thought into the contents. I also enjoy it because you sound real when you write. You don’t try to sugar coat everything into a “my life it so effing perfect, worship me, blog”. I find alot of what you write to be informative and I always look forward to reading it. I am glad that you chose to share parts of your life with us, and I love when your pictures bring a smile to my face. I know you don’t share everything with the public, but that is YOUR choice, and nobody elses. Not sure when someone would get upset over that fact. I think perhaps some people(haters) get jealous because no matter what is going on in your life, you take it in stride and keep on going. A lot of people would throw themselves a pity party instead of embracing that this is life and deal with it.

  • Sylvanna says:

    It’s disgusting that some people have twisted this baby naming experience into a kind of tug-of-war. I’m sure you’re shielding your sister from it as much as possible, but you shouldn’t have to deal with angry demands from strangers in the first place. I suppose the only whoopee in that prickly cushion is that their ‘need’ to know is motivated by their excitement about the baby. I hope.

  • JIll says:

    Well, I found you because of the trolls. Someone was writing about how much they hate you, I came to read your site to see how “horrible” it all was, and I found out you were really awesome. I’m still reading you years later and I have NO IDEA whose site I was reading when I found out about you anymore. 🙂

  • Timmy™ says:

    I’ve admittedly been a bad reader of just about everybody lately. But I do see updates here and there. And I’m baffled as to why anybody would be noseying about a child’s name that isn’t even yours. What, is there a vault of names that you’re keeping to yourself? It’s not even that big of a secret – you post your own kids names. It’s just none of THEIR business. I see, “yet-unnamed-child” and think, “Oh, guess Marika didn’t think of a name yet.” I don’t think, “UNNAMED? WHAT KIND OF HOLY GRAIL IS SHE HOLDING OUT?”

    To think that people are “only” reading you in the past couple years just seems unfair to me. I’ve been reading you since Tempest was pretty much born. That is to say, remember that Timmy loves you.

  • Aimee S. says:

    This is PERFECT, I was referred to this post by a friend of mine and this is a very excellent perspective. I’ve had a few diaries opened just for lil ol me with no other purpose but to berate and attempt to beat me down for whatever little “infraction” I ever committed. It was to the point that someone from that site actually found my ex-husband on Facebook and emailed him about their “concerns” for my son and how I was an unfit mother (my son is special needs, I am a single mom, I am a full-time student and I STILL have the time to bring him to various therapies each and every week). I thank you for your openness and honesty and for sharing. I did read you around the time Jericho died because I remember identifying with you over my own daughter’s death. I’m glad to know there are other women out there like me, dealing with all this insanity there is to be dealt with as moms and wives and just being a woman period. So again, thank you ma’am.

  • Holly says:

    I can’t believe people are being such dicks about a name. This isn’t Marika’s blog, it’s Heather’s blog. It’s Marika’s choice whether or not to share information, what information, and when. Also, I need to point out that it’s *just* a name. What is with everyone saying stuff like “I’m just DYING to know! I’ve been waaaaaaiiittiiiiiiiing…” Chill the fuck out, people. It’s kinda freaking me out that people are taking it so personally. If it affects you that badly, you need help. We are already given a huge window into these people lives. Thank you, Heather, for sharing so much about you and your family with the world. Reading your blog is like riding an emotional roller coaster and learning some things along the way.

  • Kellie says:

    Ive been here pretty much from the start and we have shared a lot.

    It sad that you felt you had to write this, but every word of it is true. You don’t owe us anything.

    I feel lucky you have opened up and let us into your life. That in itself is a huge step and to think we did that many years ago in ’99.

    Kell

  • Annie says:

    it seems like people think of you as a celebrity…. and we’ve seen how celebrities are treated. (Britney Spears, etc.) I’ll admit, I do read your blog a lot, but it would never occur to me to think that you “owe” me (or anyone else, for that matter) any kind of information about your life.

  • Stack says:

    You have chronicled a really weird dynamic here, Heather, and I really appreciate the insight, as I have your whole blog-voice, and honesty from when I started reading you on OD. You are an inspiring person to read, and I guess that does get weird sometimes. It’s a glimpse into the mindset of the stalker fan, and I had not really thought about it before. Great post!

  • eBirdie says:

    Just another “quiet reader” logging on to say an amen to your right, and your family’s right, to set boundaries and to defend those boundaries aggressively (gasp!) when necessary. That is basic human privilege, not a delicate matter for diplomacy and honeyed words.

    You are a gifted diarist. The fact that you share your diary with strangers is, in turn, a gift to those of us who read along. Thank you for that.

  • Leigh says:

    Ahh! I’m so sad for you in this. Drama sucks.

    I’ve been a long-time lurker, ever since my first pregnancy in 2005. You were so supportive on the various LJ communities, and I was so thankful to have a kind voice and page to turn to in my time of learning how to be a mother. Your journal was the first one I read in which it seemed normal to breastfeed and cosleep! <3

    I thank you for being so open about your lives, both in the good times and the hard times. You see, when a friend of mine lost her child in childbirth the year after after Jericho's birth … I felt like I'd seen it before and knew what I might want to say, instead of being frozen in fear of saying the wrong thing. I knew she might want to talk about the baby, and I knew it was okay to encourage her to open up. She now has moved through that heartbreaking loss and turned her energies toward doing wonderful things for women who have babies in the NICU and who have experienced pregnancy loss. I'm happy to have been there for her while she worked to move through the heartbreak to make the world a better place for other women, and I feel like in a some ways, your blog may have helped to bring that about. So thank you.

    Enjoy the kids and the babies. I certainly enjoy reading about them. I hope the drama settles down soon. <3

    • Babyslime says:

      That’s so awesome of her. I’m so glad she was able to find a way to channel her grief… it really helped me to do that as well. Being part of NILMDTS and a grief group has made a HUGE difference in my ability to live with the pain and get through the hard times.

      And, thank you for this. Comments like this make my day.

      • Ariana says:

        I am also a long-time lurker and share Leigh’s sentiments in being grateful for the sharing of your experiences in good times and bad. I was about to embark on my midwifery studies when I discovered your blog on LJ not long after Jericho’s birth.

        The insights I gained/continue to gain from you in your experiences as mother have so deeply enriched my understanding and ability to support women as a midwife. In particular one experience comes to mind where I was midwife for a couple who tragically had a stillbirth. I have so much to thank you for in contributing to my capacity to be emotionally present with them for their birth and in the following weeks. In particular, it was thanks to you that I had heard of NILMDTS. The day we discovered their baby had passed away in utero I searched online to see how to find someone to take photos for them when they were ready – I’m in Australia and it was through searching NILMDTS that led me to a similar wonderful network called Heartfelt. The pictures they have from the wonderful Heartfelt volunteer are so precious to them (as you would know) and it’s only thanks to you that I knew there might be such a service to seek. Since then I have also shared information about such services with many other midwives, and now more women/families in the hospital I work at are accessing this unique and treasured service. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

        This is just one aspect of many that I appreciate in reading your blog – you are a unique, fascinating, and inspiring woman and I appreciate your generosity in sharing what you do with your readers. It’s such a shame that there’s a small minority of losers out there who feel the need to taint that. I hope it doesn’t deter you from continuing your public musings.

        p.s. I look forward to hearing baby’s name – the anticipation just makes it more interesting!

  • Larissa says:

    Adding my voice to the choir: I’ve been a reader of yours on LJ (where I’m autodidactress) since ’05 and I think it’s fantastic and admirable how you let us in on what you let us in on. In the midst of increased “niche blogging”, you continued to be a shining example of what blogging originally was: chronicle your life.

    My only thoughts on baby’s name were, “Ooh, wonder what it’s going to be” and it didn’t even OCCUR to me to ask because history has demonstrated that you will always tell us when you feel it’s right to tell. If you were a close personal friend of mine, I might have asked but I guess I see the boundary as obvious: I’m the observer, you share what you share and you don’t what you don’t.

    In any event, haters gonna do what they do best: hate. Tell it like it is, you owe us nothing.

  • Debbie says:

    I have been following you since around the Time you had Jericho. I love your openness and can relate to many of the things you talk about. I have been mostly quiet but I do read every entry you write. I hope others dont ruin it for everyone else.

  • Cathy says:

    Been reading on LJ since Jericho’s death. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve become angry over Krazy, I’ve lit candles and immensely enjoy watching the kids grow up, and into themselves. Keep being you Heather, you’re the very best you there is!!!

  • Ami says:

    I am surprised and disturbed that the behavior of people has caused you to feel that a post like this was necessary. No one, regardless of how publicly or privately they live their lives, deserves to be harassed at any time. I will admit to being one of the “silent readers” I’ve commented occasionally and have been following you from Open Diary. I have always followed your posts closely, but recently I have stared to pay even more attention.

    See, I never thought that I would have children. Not only did I believe that it was just not something that was meant to happen (and so had myself convinced I really didn’t want it anyway), but numerous doctors told me that my body was so abnormal (one gyno referred to my cervix as more tilted than rides at an amusement park) that physically having children would not be possible.

    After 30 years I found the love of my life and we were married in April. I am 3 1/2 months pregnant this week. It’s terrifying to me to be experiencing something that for so long I never thought I could have and so never let myself want. I waffle between feeling surreal and unsure and being obsessive about every aspect. Reading your posts about pregnancy, the good and the bad, and seeing the loving way you talk about and present birth makes me feel less scared, more confident, and excited about both my pregnancy and the birth.

    As a complete stranger I never wanted to come across as creepy, but I thank you for that. For sharing your stories and those of others brave enough to voice them. Thank you for you compassion and your insight.

    That was a rather long way for me to say that I am sorry that you are dealing with this.

    • Babyslime says:

      Congratulations!! That’s so wonderful. 🙂 I totally get that disconnected, frightened feeling. I felt that very strongly while pregnant with Tempest, after being convinced I would never have children on my own. I felt so much guilt because I WANTED a baby so bad and was so happy, and yet here I was pregnant and depressed about it.
      Make sure you have people around you who are supportive and can help after the birth… for me that disconnect hung around in the form of postpartum depression, but I wasn’t “depressed” in the traditional sense and instead found it extremely difficult to bond with Tempest. I felt like she wasn’t mine, and like I didn’t deserve her. It really caused me a lot of guilt and sadness in the beginning, and I never talked about it. I don’t want to make you think this will definitely happen to you or anything, but make sure you’ve got a support network there for you (in whatever way that is best for you). Love for you, and HUGE congrats on beating the odds. 🙂

      • Ami says:

        That’s actually something that I’m still struggling with. I’ve been having these nightmares that are bleeding into waking life about losing the baby in some kind of horrible, violent accident–mostly car related getting into an accident, getting hit by a car on my walk to work etc. It was hard for me to believe I was pregnant at first and now it’s hard for me to believe that I’m going to be allowed to keep it. The only person I’ve really told about this is my husband and he gets worried that I’m not going to be able to bond with that baby. You’re right, I need to fatten up my support group. haha. Thank you for your comment. 🙂

        • Babyslime says:

          When Tempest was a baby we lived up North and had to cross this footbridge every day to get into town. Every time I crossed it I had these waking nightmares about her somehow slipping out of my arms into the river and drowning. This was especially frightening because it was -40 outside, so there’s no coming back from falling in.
          It got so bad I couldn’t cross the bridge without Curtis hanging onto me. I couldn’t stand out on balconies with her in my arms… nothing. The nightmares/daymares got SO BAD and I became totally paranoid that I’d somehow accidentally kill her, it was horrible. I had no idea that could be part of postpartum depression; no one told me it could come in so many forms, and I really wish I’d been able to talk about it to someone back then… instead of keeping it silent. I was so afraid people would think I was a bad person that I never mentioned it.

          • Ami says:

            While it seems to me that anyone who believes that you would be a bad person for being afraid that you will unintentionally harm your baby is an idiot, I completely understand the need to not tell anyone. Telling my husband some of my fears makes me nervous because there is a part of me that thinks that I’m really lucky that he’s such a good father (I have a step daughter), because I’m pretty sure I’m going to completely cock it up. I work for a university and they actually have a pretty phenomenal staff care plan. I’ve been considering using it since, other than my family–who is fantastic in many ways, but not really easy to talk to–and my husband, my close support network is pretty non-existent. You’ve just made it even clearer to me that I should do so. If for no other reason than to be able to talk about it to someone who won’t judge me (or won’t tell me if they do).

  • Rachel says:

    I have been such a lurker of yours since your OD days, about the time when you were pregnant with Jericho and even though there were many times I was curious about what was happening between the lines, it never once occured to me to bombard you with questions about your life. As it is, your blog already gives me such insight to a life I would never have known and that is plenty enough.

    Having said that, your blog has not only inspired me to be an advocate for birth and breastfeeding, but it has taught me so much about growing up and motherhood (I think i was 18 when I started reading you, I am now 24) and I am so grateful to you for that, even though I rarely comment on your posts, I have asked the occasional tumblr question. I feel blessed for even having such a tiny look into your life because basically, you are pretty rad.

    🙂 Sorry some other poeple are such assholes.

  • rye says:

    um…yeah that’s really creepy. 0_o

    i’m also down with more photos of serendipity…my face just about exploded with love over that picture of zephyra holding her…

  • Melissa says:

    I’ve been reading your blog since about 2004/2005 when I was in university- I credit you with being the reason I was so adamantly pro cloth diapering, breastfeeding and moving towards a natural lifestyle. I have cried, laughed, felt sick and elated, all on your behalf. You don’t OWE me anything though- I am just happy to read from afar and although I feel emotionally invested in your family if you decided to stop posting I would be sad but respectful.
    I am kind of excited by the mystery name- I can’t wait to hear it but am totally willing to wait it out, even if it never comes!
    Thank you so much for allowing us a glimpse into your life and the lives of your family, your beautiful words on the page and your authenticity.

    • Babyslime says:

      Thank you for this! 🙂

      I think I started mirroring my stuff to LJ around that time… 2004? 2005? LJ was a more popular site and I loved the set up, so I started being active in the communities around that point and that’s when things started shifting. I imported and back-dated a bunch of entries from OD onto my LJ, which makes it look like I’d been writing there all along, but that’s not actually the case. I think Tempest was around a year old when I first set up there.

  • Lindsay says:

    I was probably one of the ones who delurked on OD after Jericho died. I’ve been reading you since you were pregnant with Tempest, but I don’t note or comment often, just because I figure you get so many notes, etc., that I don’t want to contribute to the noise.

    That said, you owe me nothing. 🙂 Marika owes me nothing. Neither does anyone whose cause I’ve contributed to.

    I just love reading about your life and family and thoughts, and that’s enough.

    Whenever Babygirl ‘s name is announced, I’ll cheer for it. Until then, I’m glad to know she’s happy and healthy, and that Krazy is staying the fuck away.

  • Megean says:

    I’m sorry people are being that insensitive. I agree with the first noter, how about more pictures of Serendipity as well as Chloe and D’Argo?

    • Babyslime says:

      It’s funny because I literally was taking photos of the kitten two days ago and I just finished editing them. I was in the process of crafting a photo entry when all this went down and I felt I needed to address it first!

  • Linette Greene says:

    Oh my. I have not been around much and did not realize there was so much drama going on! I was a little hesitant to offer to send a gift, since I did not want to seem presumptuous…I am glad that you allowed me to send something and that you found a way you felt comfortable doing so by getting a PO box. Honestly, though I would not have been in the least offended if you had said, “Really, nice gesture, but cash is what she needs.” And I never expect anything in return when I send a gift. Otherwise it is not a gift!!! Name, shmame. Lots of people never reveal the real names of their family members, just always use code names. What is the big deal?

  • Megan says:

    I have been reading your diary/blog/journal since… well, since before Tempest, I believe. I’ve also been a part of the online journaling community since late 1999 in various iterations (that I prefer to keep hidden). I can’t believe people are demanding information from you. You don’t owe anyone anything.

    I will admit, I was delighted to see your post that Marika’s baby was here and mother and baby were both healthy. I was looking forward to that information. Did you owe it to me? No. But it was nice to see. But anything that you share is your choice and people should understand that.

    (Though I’m glad to hear that the baby has a name.)

  • Jennifer says:

    I’ve been following some of this drama on Tumblr and I just… I honestly just can’t comprehend how people could be such asshats. I have always respected you greatly, and your response to the entitlement bitches only makes me respect you even more.

    … Besides, I don’t understand why nobody’s bugging you for more photos of Serendipity. Who cares about a name? 😉

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