Curtis has been pushing me for the last few months to put money down on a new Macbook, as the one I'm using is from 2007, has no functional CD drive (and hasn't in years), half the keys don't work, the touchpad is worn out and it has burned through half a dozen power cords in the last 8 months (at a cost of $100 a piece).
So after he got his first raise check and we did the calculations, we decided I actually could afford it, and I went and got one.

First of all: I love the migration assistant. I barely did a single thing, and 7 hours later my entire computer was moved over with everything in tact with the exception of an incomplete program framework that I use for my invoicing (I'm beta testing it, so I didn't expect it to move over as easily as complete programs would), my Dreamweaver information and one of the scripts that runs within Photoshop. The only pain is the invoice thing and I have tons of shit programmed into that, but I'm pretty sure I can move that over manually.
Also: the screen is so pretty.
Plus: I cannot even begin to say how happy I am to be able to hold laptop in my lap again. It;s been months since I've been able to move my old one off the desk next to the bed due to the cord going kaput if it is so much as nudged. I've replaced the cord half a dozen times and can't figure out why it keeps going bad.

I was going to sell it for parts, but Marika wants it instead (cord issues and all. As long as it sits somewhere stable the cord works fine, and she's more able-bodied than I am so she can easily put it on a table or something and sit there for hours, which is something I can't do).

Anyway. I LOVE MACBOOKS. So hard.


Zephyra had her swallow study done last week. We drove up to the hospital just after 10am and were escorted into the medical imaging area by that same nice woman at the cleft meeting thing. She's become a personal liaison, of sorts: she helps bring everything together, she correlates all the reports and explains findings to us, she advocates for us with the doctors and does the home visits. She's also a speech pathologist, and gave us all the information and tools for suck training and OT for Zephyra's mouth to help her learn how to use her tongue more effectively. It's only been two weeks since we started, but I'm already seeing results. For the first time she's attempting to suckle at the Haberman, which was something she was totally incapable of doing before. As the doctors put it, "She doesn't nurse, she drinks". She can work up enough suction to stay latched onto something, but that's it. After that she waits for her mouth to fill up, and then swallows. Her swallowing mechanism is fine, it's just the sucking part that's fucked.
That said, since 'getting' the Haberman and upping her supplemental feeds to 2-3x daily, she's gained a pound. Her whole attitude has changed and she even sleeps better at night. She also nurses a little less, which is good and bad. The whole problem before was that in order for her to get a proper feed at the breast, it took her over an hour of hard work. She'd suckle, tire out, fall asleep, wake up starving, keep suckling, and the entire time I had to use breast compressions to fill her mouth with milk while she drank, ensuring I maintained an oversupply so the milk would be readily available throughout this feed and I'd have frequent letdowns. This takes up 85% of my activity during the day, which is unacceptable. I'm up for taking care of a baby, but I'm not up to doing nothing but breastfeeding for 8 hours a day… something that, due to her issues, I can't do outside the home or even while sitting on the couch. Plus, once you add in all the problems that she has with needing to sit there suckling that long in order to get properly fed the whole thing becomes a massive problem.
Anyway, now that she's figured out how to get milk from the Haberman and accepts supplementation (my milk), she doesn't have to spend hours feeding to get a single meal, which is awesome because now she and I can have a life and she is well fed throughout the day… but it means she doesn't spend hours nursing, which means my supply continues to tank. She already doesn't stimulate my breasts enough and at this point I'm running on 20% efficiency. I'm starting to wonder if, by the end of this, we're going to end up with her almost exclusively pumped-milk-fed, not because she refuses the breast but simply because she can't get what she needs out of them so she just uses breastfeeding to fall asleep and calm down. I really don't want that to happen. She continues to ask to nurse just as often, but because she's not marathoning her feeds anymore (which is a good thing, remember) she's not getting what she used to from them (which is a bad thing, but not something we can change). Argh.

I refuse to let this beat me. I swear to god, this baby will not be formula fed. It's just not worth it to give in after this much hard work, and while it is a pain in the ass to continually watch my supply and pumping schedules to ensure I always have enough to nurse her and supplement her at the same time, it's not like it can't be worked into my daily schedule.

Anyway, the swallow study was… interesting. I had to bring a bottle of breastmilk, which they then added about an ounce of barium to. They wanted me to feed her while she sat in this weird anti-xray chair thing, but she'll only drink from the Haberman if she's on my lap leaning backward, so I had to put the chair on my lap instead. But then that wasn't high enough to show up on the cameras because I'm ridiculously short, so we had to stick the baby chair on my lap, and me on a chair, and a pillow on the chair, and the chair on a box, and then move the cameras down by another foot. Then I had to lean in this very awkward position and hold my arms out so that her face would be angled forward and my arm was out of view of her chin and neck while the images were taken. It was lots of fun. And by fun I mean not fun.
Just before we got started the assistant technician brought out this little lead g-string thing and said, "This is for her ovaries! Isn't that cute? She has little baby ovaries!" and fastened it over Zephyra's crotch. I had to wear a giant lead smock, and an extra one over my thyroid glands.

Initially they said it all looked normal, but the day after I got a call from the speech pathologist who said she'd spent extra time examining the video and clearly saw that her tongue movement was restricted and she wasn't using her mouth and tongue as a baby should. As a result, just as I'd always said, she wasn't "nursing" but merely "drinking" and could not physically move her tongue forward over her gums, or use it to cup the teat to stimulate milk flow.
"It's exactly what you said was happening from the very beginning," she said, without missing the irony. This whole fucking thing has been so frustrating. All the lower end breastfeeding educators (LLL, LC's, doulas, etc) took one look at Z and agreed with me: posterior tongue tie, and muscular problems. But the further I got up the chain of command, so to speak, the more I heard bullshit like, "It doesn't exist" and "You don't know what you're talking about". A dozen expensive tests and specialists later and the final answer is, "So apparently you did know what you were talking about and it's exactly as you described it all along".

IMAGINE THAT.

Fuckers. The speech pathologist is coming over against next week to go over the results with me, we have a paediatrician appointment tomorrow because they believe she may have severe reflux along with this and want to double check that to ensure that, if it is, it gets treated because the last thing we need is MORE PROBLEMS on top of this.

After the swallow study she pooped chalky barium grossness for three days, and for some reason it just tore open her little bum and vulva. We're still treating the rash. I've had her nap naked on top of prefolds for days and it's just starting to clear up now.

Also, since I get a copy of the swallow study results next week, I can actually load it into my computer and put it on Youtube, so everyone can look at what a baby with posterior tongue tie looks like when they drink. Maybe it'll help someone.
Maybe some dumbass ENTs will see it and it'll change their mind about whether or not posterior tongue tie exists.


In other news, Tempest was referred through her school to get speech therapy and OT for fine motor skills. I've been barking up that tree for two years without success, so I'm fucking thrilled. Apparently this is due to there being a brand new school counsellor employed there, who is far more educated in dealing with children with Aspergers and other autistic spectrum disorders. Since the BC Liberals cut funding for spectrum disorders recently and decided that they simply don't exist, we've been SOL in getting services for her, so this guy is going out of his way to get Tempest into whatever he can through the school. Which is amazing.
When I was on the phone with him last week and he asked me if I'd like to meet with him in his office I made a joke about how we'll need to inform the entire fucking school beforehand so that I can use the goddamn elevator to get up all those flights of stairs and he replied, "I have noticed that accessibility isn't a priority of theirs…"
I could have kissed him.

It's a good thing he's so likable, because Xan may end up seeing him too. For some unknown reason he started FIGHTING WITH KIDS over the last two weeks. Initially the principal tried to tell me that he walked up to some random kid in the bathroom and kicked them, but when I told her, repeatedly, that I have NEVER known him to be violent like that she back-pedaled and said that what actually happened was that the kid and him started fighting over something and Xan eventually kicked "at" him, but didn't hurt him.
The kid he was fighting with was also two grades older, which makes me a little suspicious as to what was going on.
He got held in the office for a full lunch hour because him and his buddy got into a fight with another child, and initially Xan wouldn't tell them why so they assumed him and his friend went randomly beating kids up? I don't know. When I pressed him for answers he admitted this kid had been calling him and his buddy "Smellypants" for the last week and they finally snapped and freaked at him. On our side we're trying to press that when you're being teased you should go tell a duty teacher, but for whatever reason he doesn't trust them to be there for him and feels that he has to defend himself. When I called the principal and asked if the other child was involved in the punishment (ie. if the fight broke out between the three of them, were ALL THREE brought in to talk about it or were just Xan and his buddy punished) she admitted it was the latter, because the duty only started paying attention after they started fighting at which point the older kid claimed that Xan and his buddy just started banging on him for no reason.

So, I'm not too bent out of shape over fighting in general because I get that kids do this to some extent, no one was actually hurt (if anything they were just slapping at each other), and as he adjusts to school he'll probably get better at expressing himself. He's a pretty sensitive kid, and gets his feelings hurt rather easily but doesn't often tattle… he's quick to learn though, and I know he'll adapt. Him and Tempest fight way worse on a daily basis.
What I am irked about is the fact that when there is an incident between several children that includes him, that they're not bringing in all of the kids to talk to them together about communicating effectively, blah blah… they're just acting on the last 30 seconds they witnessed, and not bothering to talk to the two little boys in KINDERGARTEN about what prompted them to act that way. Both Xan and his little buddy are not violent kids, but they're little boys who are both rather sensitive and easy to provoke. Generally, five year old boys don't go around randomly beating up older kids not he playground in their first week of school. But… they do react to provocation rather quickly. It irritates me that no one seems to be considering the whole picture and is only punishing the two of them once they start hitting, rather than talk to the whole team. Or, you know, maybe keep them separated if these kids REALLY DON'T GET ALONG AT ALL for whatever reason. Which is fine, as far as I'm concerned, I'm cool with kids not liking each other and not being forced to get along and play together every day.

Also, for the record: if there was any reason to believe that Xan was a bully, I'd have him pulled out of school so damn fast. I refuse to raise a bully, and I refuse to be the kind of parent who ignores it if there's any reason to suspect he was going down that path. So believe me, that is in the forefront of my mind throughout this. That isn't what's happening.
On top of that, Tempest feels it her job to watch Xan's activities at recess and lunch, and reports to me every time he gets in trouble and why. She's corroborated his story when I asked them separately what happened.

Ugh, anyway.

Curtis worked a 13 hour shift the other day, and today he's working until 9:30pm again. Three kids is a lot of kids when one is having a feeding problem, one was up all night throwing up for no reason (Tempest), I'm getting over a vicious sinus infection and my husband is gone.


I never posted Zephyra's four month portraits… which was now two weeks ago. She's now FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS OLD. JESUS. I look at her and can barely remember what it's like to have a giant belly, which seems bizarre. Pregnancy always felt temporary this time, and the days and weeks seem to be flowing much faster than I'm used to. She's just… so big. Laughing and giggling and chewing her hands and grabbing at things. She's starting to look like her own person now, and while we hear more of her resembling Xan I think that's merely because she looks more like him than like Tempest. As if they were a spectrum spanned from one end to the other. In reality I think she looks like neither of them, but enough to be their sibling, the same way they both look "exactly" like me and yet not at all like each other.

I'm happy with this image. She looks so fat. It's also one of the only times she's ever nursed just… in my arms. It's impossible to feed her this way for any length of time, even the 15 seconds she allowed me to for this image.

A lighting test shot that turned out okay.

Since we started the OT she's learned to stick her tongue out much further than she used o be able to.

She can almost get it past her lower lip now. She still isn't using it to 'cup' things (like a teat or my breast), but she's getting better.

Quote of the day:
So Curtis finds this book in the sci-fi section at the public library and thinks that the title sounds similar to a movie we just saw, so he decides it must be related to it and takes it out without looking through it.
Upon bringing it home he hands it to me and says, “It looked good!” without any other context. I flip through it and find the following passage:

It’s PORN. PORN IN THE LIBRARY. IN THE SCI-FI SECTION. And before anyone asks: no, there’s no alien chicks. The book appears to be entirely about one woman’s quest to fuck two bisexual men. At the same time. While they also fuck each other.
Upon revealing this to Curtis he stands with mouth agape and stammers, “I swear to god I didn’t know! I thought… but… I didn’t… why was it in the science-fiction section?! WHO PUT PORN IN THE LIBRARY?”
Followed by a thoughtful pause and, “Do you think they have it on audiotape?”

Link of the Day:
How well do you see colour? – A great test done by Xrite that involves arranging hues in order. 1 in 255 women, and 1 in 12 men have problems seeing colour. What did you score? I scored a zero (which is a perfect score), which I'm surprised about but still going to accept as proof of my endlessly badassery.
Heroes, bumblers, abandoners and patriarchs: fatherhood on Doctor Who – A really good essay on how fatherhood and men are portrayed in the series. You don't have to be a fan of the show to read it. Contains spoilers for the most recent season.
To the author of the anonymous note left on my car window – Hat tip to an anonymous noter, ironically, who passed this on to me earlier. Re: invisible disabilities and parenthood.
Judy Jetson loves dudes – As Fourfour put it, it was rather progressive of Hanna-Barbara (no, seriously) to write her as so promiscuous without any derision or shaming.
An open letter to Canon – "There's a reason why actual movies cost millions of dollars to make?!?"
Princess Bride reunion picture – The cast of The Princess Bride comes together for an epic reunion photo that you should absolutely see if you ever watched the movie.
Release Me: Model Release App for the iPhone and iPad – If you are a photographer or videographer and use model releases in your work…? GET THIS FUCKING APP. It's 8.99 and I'd pay $40 for it. Fucking. Brilliant.

Comments

comments

51 Comments

  • chem_nerd says:

    Hmm, I got a perfect score on the color test; my artist husband got a 12 – not because he couldn’t differentiate the last few colors, but because he got bored fiddling with it and decided ‘eh, close enough’. I realize that colorblindness is more common in men, but I have to wonder how much of that test’s gender skew is the ‘close enough’ fudge factor…

    And thank goodness there’s a counselor willing to get Tempest the programs she needs. Also – I am dead of the cute. Miss Zephyra has the most adorable eyes.

  • Anonymous says:

    A warm fuzzy

    I came across this sweet pics collection of baby wearing mamas from around the world made me smile. I’m guessing you have a FB, and you should be able to see this (because I can and she’s not my friend):

    https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1115933271572.18068.1624178185&type=3

    If that doesn’t work, look up Loli Dogaro’s “Mujeres del mundo con sus bebes”

    Have a great day!

  • Anonymous says:

    Thanks

    Glad you liked the link πŸ™‚ I only comment anonymously because I don’t have an LJ account. Shoot the only reason I even have a blog is so my in-laws could see baby pictures, and I used Blogger because a friend taught me how to use it…then my in-laws don’t read it because they “don’t get the whole sign-in thing”. So I think about three people read it.

    ANYHOW, would you like me to start signing my name to my comments so I am no longer anonymous?

    Also, you must make some serious milk, because your infant with severe sucking problems is like 5 times fatter than my breastfed baby ever was. Good job, Mama :)I’m so jealous! It was such a relief to put my daughter in cloth diapers because her pants finally stopped falling down all the time…

    • admin says:

      Re: Thanks

      Haha! No you don’t need to sign your name if you don’t want to. πŸ™‚ Anon comments are screened by default not to stop trolls (as you’ll notice, I let the trolls through) but to stop THE SPAM. I get tons and tons and tons of spam. Especially Russian spam for some reason. It’s ridiculous.

      Anyway: I make fat babies! πŸ™‚ I don’t know how long you’ve been around, so you may or may not remember this THREE AND A HALF MONTH OLD Xan:

      FAHHHHHHHHHHHHHT. Fat.

      And yes, I do make a lot of milk! there’s nothing “wrong” with my supply or ability to make milk, and I’m taking fenugreek/domperidone and pumping so I’ve got a pretty good flow going!

      • thehobbit says:

        Re: Thanks

        And there went all the ego I’d built about my “fat” and “tall” 4 month old preemies.

        Thanks Xan.

        Fat babies are awesome and adorable. πŸ˜€

      • Anonymous says:

        Re: Thanks

        Ahhh he was huge! Look at the cheeks! I made enough milk (at least until she was about a year old, then it dropped off considerably), but it’s like it was skim. It would separate in the fridge and there would be this tiny little layer of cream at the top. So I’ve always had this tiny little girl, I guess it’s nice that she wears the same size clothes for a really long time.

        At two months: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=587225478347&l=7dd2f35a77

        • admin says:

          Re: Thanks

          M’awe!
          Tempest was teeny like that. It’s just her build! But then again, she’s always been the odd one out in a lot of ways. πŸ™‚

          I liked how Dr. Sears used to talk about it: there are ‘apple’ babies and ‘banana’ babies. The apple babies get big and fat before they grow taller, and you can always tell their growth spurt is coming when they put on the weight first… they tend to be chubbier than their peers through their toddlerhood. The banana babies always shoot up like a beansprout and get skinny skinny before the growth spurt: they always grow tall before they put on the pounds. Tempest is STILL like that. Just as she grows she starts to look emaciated, and then puts on the weight after.

  • Anonymous says:

    This may be completely random, but I was wondering if you had written anything about your thoughts on immunizations. My doc is pushing HARD for me to get a flu shot (I’m 5 mths pg) and I’m feeling so uneasy. But of course, all I hear is, “dont you want to do whats best for baby?” Your thoughts or somewhere I could find some good info on this? Thanks!

    • admin says:

      My thoughts on them are vast and complicated and come from years upon years of digging through research about illness, epidemics, vaccination effectiveness, and trying to sort out the hype on both sides (ie. “Vaccination is magic and cures everything” vs. “Vaccinations are evil and kill everything”). πŸ˜‰
      To sum up: I do not think routine vaccination is necessary, nor pressing, in the average family situation in a first world home. I take issue with the huge amount of vaccines given at a single time, and feel that there may be some more serious concerns about the amount of stuff going in a neonate throughout their first year. HOWEVER, I feel vaccines may do good in third world situations where there are a million people packed into an 8 mile radius and zero running water nor access to antibiotics… situations where overall health and disease transmission rates are extremely bad.

      Anyway… I support selective and delayed vaccination, as well as none. I take no personal issue with people who feel otherwise. πŸ™‚

      • Anonymous says:

        Thanks for your input. I’ve been a follower of yours for awhile and have known you didnt have them done and was curious why. You seem more than educated when it comes to the decisions you make for your family. Thanks again! πŸ™‚

  • sandokai says:

    What are the reasons they think she has reflux? Sometimes I wonder if our kiddo has a minor but consequential version of it…

  • crustyshoes says:

    I’m so glad that new counsellor is getting Tempest the help she is entitled to. It’s really upsetting how hard it is to get help for children with high functioning Autism.

    I did a barium swallow twice and it was awful. I can’t imagine such a little one having to do it. Poor Zephyra!

    The pictures of you and Zephyra are beautiful. She looks so much like Curtis, especially in #3.

    The link to the anonymous note really hit me. I have a close friend with a bad heart condition that affects her quality of life and she uses a permit. Because she looks ‘normal’ aside from being quite small, she has been verbally attacked, has had her car vandalized, and has had the cops called on her for parking in a disabled space with a permit. People can be so awful.

  • Z looks SO much like Xan to me! I don’t know if it’s her facial expressions or her facial features, but in that second pic of you two, I see Xan all over her!

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi

    Zephyra looks adorably chubby, you’re doing a good job in difficult circumstances. I’ve been following this blog: http://lazyseamstress.blogspot.com/p/ernests-tongue-tie.html
    just thought it might be of interest to you
    Martina

  • smellykaka says:

    Oooh oooh! What model did you get?

    • admin says:

      There were four: two in the higher range and two in the lower range, and since I don’t really need a super powerful graphics card I went for the higher of the lower range. πŸ™‚

  • arwyn says:

    OH she’s SO CUTE!

    And I don’t mean Judy Jetson, although that clip was pretty hilarious πŸ™‚

  • marbyco says:

    When I was in South Africa, I had to hold a very very stiff baby with cerebral palsy in a sitting position on my lap and try to get him to take a bottle without gagging for a swallow study x-ray. I must have been covered in a lead apron but I don’t remember it. Baby was very upset with me and I ended up covered in barium milk.

  • Anonymous says:

    Xan

    Hi. How would pulling Xan out of school help him? I am only asking because my son is sensitive as well and I worry about how to handle it if he starts fighting at school. If you pull him out of school, won’t he have to go to another school and deal with the same kind of kids?

    • admin says:

      Re: Xan

      I said specifically that I would pull him out if he’d become a bully, because if that ever became the case I do not want him continuing to abuse other children. I would either a/ homeschool him, or b/ send him to an alternative school where he had full attention and small class sizes.

      • ryissa says:

        Re: Xan

        I just had to say I love you for this. I wish more parents were as watchful when it came to bullying. Being bullied myself, I’d do the exact same thing if it were my child doing the bullying. Hell I’d even consider counseling depending on their age if I felt that their desire to abuse other kids came form something deep-seeded or too complicated to handle on my own.

        • admin says:

          Re: Xan

          Absolutely, and thank you for mentioning counseling. I think that’s a given if your kid is continually abusing others.

          I do NOT subscribe to that, “my kid could NEVER bully someone!” thing. Getting in a few fights? Okay, whatever. Having someone they really dislike? Fine. But ritual bullying is something totally different and having been nearly bullied to death I resolve to never let my kids become bullies, or get away with bullying someone else. It is just too fucking important to let my parenting pride get in the way of stopping bullying.

          • ryissa says:

            Re: Xan

            I do NOT subscribe to that, “my kid could NEVER bully someone!” thing.

            Yes! That thought needs to die in a fire. It’s got to be hard to hear as a parent that your kid is the one doing the bullying, but geebus. When other children’s lives are potentially at stake it’s a ridiculous attitude to have. I’d much rather swallow my pride than allow the cruelty to carry on knowing the horrid consequences of it.

  • angelhsent says:

    may I ask who the author is of this hard candy book? lol

  • crunchynurse says:

    Posterior tongue tie

    I know this might be impossible for you to do, but there is a dentist in Albany, NY that uses a laser to separate posterior tongue ties. He has written a number of articles on tt which can be viewed on his website. http://www.kiddsteeth.com/articles.html If you have already heard of Dr. Kotlow, forgive me for the duplicate info.

  • ppplmgwiw says:

    Whoah, that last picture of Zephyra–she looks so much like Xan and Tempest! You guys have incredibly strong genes…

    I’m glad you’re getting some answers (even if you already had them…) and things are settling with her feeding.

  • misspaigeb says:

    Honestly… I think the babe looks more like Curtis than anyone else! At least in these photos. She’s adorable btw. πŸ™‚

  • jenrose1 says:

    You rock. I can’t say that enough. When I thought about putting Shiny on formula, I got this huge gut-wrenching NO… and the one time I caved, she vomited it. At 7 months. Between that experience and K’s milk/soy allergy… yeah, breastfeeding my kids has been worth every moment of discomfort, lost sleep, etc.

    That book… How… lively! Your husband’s last comment cracked me up. At least they’re not censoring? But they’ve also got, um, Dewey decimal issues. Or something.

    Yay for Tempest and services! Such a relief. Here, it’s a federal mandate: they MUST provide services if a child needs them to learn. What’s the deal there?

    • admin says:

      We have the same rule. The problem is now what qualifies as a “problem”. The BC Libs cut all funding for autism programs, and made this call about what qualifies as autism that left thousands of kids in the dust. People are furious. πŸ™

  • bluealoe says:

    It’s been months since I’ve been able to move my old one off the desk next to the bed due to the cord going kaput if it is so much as nudged.

    This sounds exactly like my old computer. The power cord kept dying, and since I was out of the country, getting a new one was nearly impossible. (Apparently the power cords they make in Japan don’t work on American computers? It makes NO sense, but that’s what they kept telling me.) I finally ended up getting a new computer, and the ability to actually move my computer around was amazing.

    I refuse to let this beat me. I swear to god, this baby will not be formula fed. It’s just not worth it to give in after this much hard work,

    I think a lot of people would look at this the other way, and say “It’s just not worth it to put in all this hard work, I’ll just give her formula.” But your stubbornness puts you in a different class, and Zephrya will be better off for it.

    I had a barium study done once when I was a kid (yay for having IBS *rolls eyes*) and it was incredibly unpleasant. For a baby it must be even more uncomfortable.

    I’m so glad Tempest is finally going to be getting speech therapy and OT. A good school counsellor is worth their weight in gold (and a bad one, unfortunately, can be very harmful).

    Five-years-olds are indeed very easy to provoke, and punishing them for snapping instead of helping them to develop conflict resolution skills is just not okay. Unfortunately, it’s easier for the teachers to just punish kids instead of taking the time to find out what’s really going on. πŸ™

    A 13 HOUR shift? I can’t even imagine…are those kinds of hours normal for Curtis now?

    The portraits are beautiful, as always. She looks so incredibly fat and happy. I love it!

    Before I clicked the link, I thought the “open letter to Canon” would be about fandom…you know, series canon? Cameras never even crossed my mind, even though I HAVE a Canon camera.

    The Princess Bride reunion photo is awesome. I made R watch it with me last month, he’d never seen in before!
    Have you seen the video from the reunion photoshoot?

    Lots of love. *hugs*

    • admin says:

      Thankfully the 13 hour isn’t the norm, he was just the only manager available that day due to the other one being unable to get up off his bathroom floor… so he had to pull a double. He had ONE break – 10 minutes long. Ughh…

      I haven’t seen the video! Going to watch now.

  • The baby fat has slayed me. No chance to go into labor, I am ded from too much cute babydom.

    ….and just so I can, um, ‘protect my library’, what’s the title of that book?

  • comitto says:

    Heh, I remember when you first got that old Mac.

    And the barium tore up her VULVA? That is some intense stuff. πŸ™

    • admin says:

      Yeah, as soon as she had a poop with it and it touched her skin for more than five minutse… it literally left open sores. πŸ™ She’s never had even the smallest rash before. πŸ™

  • singhappy02 says:

    As someone who just spent six hours scanning old model release forms, I want to make out with that app right now.

  • the_leh says:

    I fucking love this entry.

    Buying my MacBook Pro was the best money I ever spent on a computer, for pretty much all the reasons you stated. It’s currently the only working computer in the house. WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU, HMM? Everyone told me not to buy a Mac. WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH? Oh that’s right. Me!

    I love those photos. Absolutely stunning, as all your work is. I never did master self portraits (what do you use to focus on, or did someone else take those?) oh, how I miss breastfeeding. And how sad I am now that my baby days are pretty much over. Just one more toddler (who is already 2) and then all my babies will be *gasp* CHILDREN. No one told me they turn into children! I feel like I wasn’t prepared.

    The curtis-sci-fi-porn book thing had me laughing so hard that Roger rolled over and said (crankily), “Are you planning to stay up all night?”

    And, apparently, I have 100% color visual acuity. Nice to know that something body on me related isn’t completely broken. HA!

  • gngr says:

    I liked that colour link (scored a 6).

    I love that Z is getting The Fat. There should be a photo shoot in her future featuring the chub. πŸ™‚

    Much love, Heather! Am I weird that I want to see the swallow video when you post it? πŸ™‚

    • admin says:

      Not at all! I’d want to see it, if it were me. And I am me, so I want to see it. πŸ˜‰

      Anyway.

      I get it from the speech pathologist person next Wednesday during her home visit, and she said she’d show me the CD there… so I think that also means she’ll give me a copy, which would be cool. If not I’ll ask for on anyway.

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