Three. It’s so much more than two.

I’m starting to adjust to taking care of three different age groups at once. I think. Tempest is out of the house by 8:30am if all goes well (and it usually doesn’t. She’s harder to wake up for school than Marika was – it’s like she’s a teenager) and Xan only attends preschool three days a week for a few hours. Getting Zephyra up, dressed, changed, nursed and happy enough to accompany me for a walk to Xan’s preschool to drop him off on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays is a task and a half… she likes her sleep. The car is an ever-loving nightmare right now so we’re not even going to go there. Zephyra usually isn’t ready to be up for the day until at least 11:30am, and often more like noon or later. Unfortunately for me, during that time I can’t leave her side. She clusterfeeds for hours but doesn’t fully wake up. If she is forced to wake up she’s a grump for most of the day. The best way to handle the morning is to put her little swaddled, sleepy self in a sling and somehow keep her asleep for the journey (easier said than done), then immediately lay down with her once I get home and stay that way until Xan’s preschool is over several hours later.
On the plus side, this usually awards me a mid-morning nap.

She’s not truly fussy as she is particular. She likes things the way she likes them, and almost no variation to her routine is acceptable. She really likes laying down in bed and won’t really nap anywhere else. She’s slowly getting used to being in a sling or pouch, but likes it much better if she can nurse 100% of the time. I’ve never had a baby so adverse to being worn, but I’ll break her eventually. Really, with two older siblings she simply does not have a choice but to give in and enjoy it.
She clusterfeeds like Tempest did as a baby, which may or may not be related to the tongue-tie issue. The first week when I thought she’d gained, she’d actually lost… significantly. 12oz in a week. Which is a lot for a baby under eight pounds. There’s no problem with my supply – I was pretty engorged during that time – it’s just a matter of her being able to get it out. Despite the dramatic loss, she didn’t act or appear like an underfed baby so the midwife was cautiously optimistic and said it’s probably best to just watch her closely rather than freak out about it. Since then we’ve done semi-regular finger-feeds and two bottle feeds with pumped milk (not for the last six days though; I haven’t had time to pump). My old boob nazi friends will gawk in horror (or mock horror) at the mere mention of a bottle, and to be honest I just tried it for the hell of it. I was curious to see if it would help her learn to suck a little more effectively the same way a brief introduction of the bottle helped Freja’s (LC’s first child) breastfeeding and suckling issues so long ago… and to my total and complete surprise, it did. The bottle was so terrible a substitute that she immediately and exuberantly wanted the breast and worked damn hard to get it.
I fed her on both breasts and then defrosted and warmed about 2oz of pumped milk and put it in a Playtex nurser with that “for breastfed babies” silicone nipple that looks absolutely no different from any other nipple they sell. The clear nipple is good for two reasons: first for checking her tongue position visually; ensuring she has a good “breast-positive” latch on the bottle, and second because I’m allergic to latex so I can’t have my kids using the rubber ones and then sucking at my breast a moment later unless I want some seriously fucked up boob.
20 minutes after taking that down she wanted to nurse again and had a better latch. She was also more eager to eat since then. It’s probably a coincidence, but either way I’m happy. I can still feel that her tongue does not have good coverage on my breast, which results in less stimulation and less demand for my supply so I’m using breast compressions and other tricks and keeping the big guns on hold until I see how she’s doing.

As an edit to this, midwife came today for her three week weigh. We were hoping she’d get back to her birth weight (which would require an impressive 7oz gain in one week)… and she did all that and more: she gained nineteen ounces in a week. NINETEEN! IN ONE WEEK! HA HA! MY BREASTS ARE AWESOME! BOW TO THEIR EPIC POWER!

I’ve had a shittonne of questions about why I haven’t just gone in to get her tongue clipped if it’s causing such an issue, and despite having already answered this question, no one seems to have seen or understood what I meant so I’m going to say it here again:
Her tongue tie is not type one or two, it can’t be “clipped”. I couldn’t clip if I wanted to: she has no lingual frenulum. As in really and truly: none. Not even the remnants of one; it’s totally smooth under the tip of her tongue. She has a posterior tie, which means her tongue muscle is too short and sort of holds it to the bottom of her mouth. She can’t stick her tongue out very far, nor does she have good mobility, not because a frenulum is holding the tip down (like in more common ties) but because her entire tongue is being held back from the middle or back of it. Correcting her tie would require surgery on her tongue under general anesthetic (according to the IBCLC), and would be a considerable trauma to both of us. That’s why I’m waiting to see how things go before we proceed.
If it’s bad enough to require surgery, we’ll have it done because having her deal with speech, hygiene and oral problems for years and years is not a good (or safe) thing. However, if there’s any reason to think that we may be able to work through it without surgery, we’ll go that route instead… for what I’d think are pretty obvious reasons. So, for now we do tongue exercises with her and work all the time on improving her suckling ability and form. I spend a few periods out of every day doing little exercise sessions where I stick my tongue out at her and play with her mouth, latch and unlatch over and over, all to help her recognize where to place her tongue and lips when she suckles (she also has a tight frenulum in her upper lip which makes it difficult to evert on the first latch, so I often have to correct that). It’s kind of a pain in the ass, because you’re working with instincts and not much else, but it is actually working. Slowly. Her tongue positioning (what limited use she has of it) is improving, and her latch doesn’t hurt anymore. She’s also learned a few ways to latch that get the job done even though they aren’t great. As a result she’s less gassy now than she was a week ago.
But like I said, this isn’t a cure. The midwife is weighing her weekly to track her gain and ensure she’s doing okay. If she doesn’t gain well, or shows any signs of being underfed, we’ll push up the “Dealing with it” idea to the top of the priority list. But if she manages to find ways around it and slowly adapts, then obviously it isn’t bad enough to seriously inhibit her life and therefore surgery to correct it may not be necessary.

Hopefully that is a little more understandable.

TL;DR – Nursing is going better than expected, but by no means can you consider the issue “done” or “over” simply because she appears to be getting enough to eat.


A smattering of little things have gone on that I’ve neglected to write about because I’m tired and busy, like:

1. Xan being bit by the neighbor’s dog when it ran under our fence, chased and attacked him. There were three witnesses who all reported that’s what happened, though the neighbor insists that Xan somehow stuck his arm and leg under the fence and then held it there long enough to get bit not just once – but twice – after harassing the dog to the point where she needed to “protect her territory”. That’s kind of typical asshole dog owner speak, and we had witnesses, so naturally no one believed his BS story. Landlady was actually there with us at the time this happened, and was pretty pissed about it. She fixed the fence right away, and we called the animal rescue people and reported the incident. They came by and spoke to us, took note of the wounds on Xan, and went over and harangued the owner about it until he admitted the dog was indeed a problem.
This isn’t the first time their dog has chased and attacked someone in our family from under the fence: last year, as you may recall, it bit the shit out of Curtis’ foot while he was standing around barbecuing. At that time the owner was apologetic and polite; he also admitted the dog had a history of biting and called her, “A little bitey bitch”. Not sure what changed between then and now… and to be honest even though it’s our civilian duty to report dangerous dogs, we probably would have let this one go as well if the guy had been more polite and apologetic to us rather than goading us to, “take it to the next level” after we repeatedly reminded him that what he was accusing Xan of doing was not physically possible.

To his credit, Xan is not at all freaked by the incident and seems to be carrying on totally fine. The mouth-shaped scar on his arm is something he proudly shows off like a badge of honour. See where I was attacked by a vicious dog? Yeah I totally took that shit and walked away. Did you see the giant scar on my back too? I jumped off the top of bunk bed and ripped up my back. Like a boss.
Tempest seems rather anxious about going in the backyard unprotected (she witnessed the attack), even though the fence has been patched. We’ve had to talk to her over and over again about how the dog can’t get through anymore and how it isn’t the dog’s fault: there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.

2. The kids and I spent almost four hours baking Curtis a german chocolate cake for father’s day that had fresh strawberries all over it (and in it), with chocolate and rum icing on top. It’s the first time I’ve ever baked a cake like that before, and the kids happily helped with every step. It turned out wonderful, and despite ending the day exhausted and with a massive back spasm it was totally worth it if only for the look on Curtis’ face when he realized we’d totally pulled a fast one on him and had him convinced that Xan had “accidentally” spoiled the surprise by telling him we were baking muffins, while Tempest acted dismayed that he’d been told and kept him out of the kitchen for the rest of the evening so at the very least he wouldn’t know “what they look like”.
This is the first time we have successfully seen Xan lie to someone. This is both amusing and slightly disturbing… if only for how amazingly convincing he was at it.

3. Curtis and I took a late night walk when Zephyra was a few days old and heard what we thought was a burglar alarm coming from their home. This street is very safe and very quiet; no one locks their doors or their cars and people regularly leave shit out all night on their lawns like $700 strollers and expensive lawn furniture and all that and don’t worry about it getting stolen. We figured the burglar alarm was accidentally tripped by a cat or something, imagined the owners would shut it off soon, and walked on. About half-way down the block we both smelled barbeque and commented on how weird it was that someone would be cooking steak at this time of night. It absolutely did not occur to me that these two things could be related.
When we came back from our walk about half an hour later the alarm was still going. We stopped in front of their house and realized there was no car in the driveway.
“I don’t think they’re home,” I said. “Maybe we should call the police so it can be shut off.”
“Is their door open?” asked Curtis. Their front door appeared to be slightly ajar. He walked up to their steps to double check, but couldn’t see in the dark and suddenly realized it probably wouldn’t be too smart to be seen lurking around someone’s house at nearly midnight with a burglar alarm going off, so he came back out to where I was. “Let’s just call in.”
We went home and called the non-emergency line. The police sent someone by right away and told us to watch from our window to see if anybody walked out of the house before they arrived (and if they did, to call 911 and report it immediately). They were there in three minutes flat and immediately entered the house to turn off the alarm. We both watched from the livingroom window as they fled back out the front door and two minutes later two fire trucks and a command unit showed up, hooked up the hose and ran it in the front door. As soon as the front door opened (it wasn’t actually open before, it was just a shadow) smoke escaped. It wasn’t a burglar alarm, it was a smoke detector. Their house was on fire.
Curtis went outside to ask one of the guys what happened. There was some sort of electrical fire; it had only just started and most of the damage was smoke-related. Even though most of the neighborhood smelled that “BBQ” smell and heard the alarm, we were the only ones that reported it. They told us it was just in time: the fire had only just barely started to blaze and the actual fire-related damage was still very minimal – though there was quite a bit of smoke damage. That didn’t come as much of a relief… instead, we felt awful (and still feel awful) that we waited so long to call. It never occurred to me that smell was from a fire, nor that the sound was a fire alarm. NOTHING happens here, and we’re totally desensitized to potential danger as a result… I mean, even upon wondering if it was a burglar alarm we assumed it was accidental and walked up to the house to check if their door was open, which in retrospect is kind of nuts if you believe a burglar alarm is going off (accidental or no).
We both went and apologized to the owner when he came home in the middle of the commotion about an hour later (poor guy… can you imagine coming home from a late night visit to your friends house, with your kids, to that scene?). He thanked us for calling and said we’d saved his house from major damage, or complete destruction – he’d only just bought it last month. We chatted with him later that week for an update, and it looks like the overall damage is very small… thank god.

4. I am so crazy dehydrated all the time. I must go through four or five litres of water a day. Breastfeeding is like exercising without the burn.

5. I’m getting a copper IUD put in again, because I loved it when I had it, and have already booked the appointment. Jill told me that you no longer have to wait 6 weeks after birth to get it put in. Yay! Except all the places that do it abide by the recommendations which say 6-8 weeks and won’t do it before that. Boo. They said the midwives are being trained to do insertions and they will do it before six weeks. Yay! Except the IUD training hasn’t started yet, and Jill doesn’t have that education or experience at this point. Boo.
I talked to Jill about it during our last visit, which was yesterday, and she said behind a hand, “Most people aren’t really having that much sex yet anyway.” I gave her a look. “Although you may be one of those special people who is. AND IF YOU ARE it’s okay because you’ve got that awesome lactational amenorrhea going for you!”
“I conceived Xan after 6 weeks, so I’m a little bit hesitant to go with just that.”
“Well Heather you are a bit weird.”
I burst out laughing.
“And I mean that in the most loving way! But really. Hormonally. Weird. But I like you lots!”

She’s adorable.

I’m not having tons of sex yet, but damned if I don’t want to be. From four days postpartum onward we’ve been “everything but”-ing like catholic middle schoolers, and I am most impatient. I was waiting on the IUD thing because I fucking hate condoms and they’re fucking expensive. And by that I mean the actual act of fucking is expensive… when you’re allergic to latex and pay $5 a pop for polyurethane condoms. This baby has predictable evening naps and it’s given us lots of sneaking off to get off opportunities and I’m eager to take advantage of that. Plus, having sex without epic nausea and epic belly is kind of awesome. Let’s have that again.

Also: pictures!

I forgot to post these in the previous-previous entry, as they’re older than the pictures I put up last. Most of these are from her sixth or seventh days.

Teehee.

Fleece pouch babywearing. This is my current favourite for her.

It was also my newborn favourite for Xan.

<3

Zephyra loves the shower. Loves! If I hold her out with the water on the back of her head she just lays there all chilled out making little cooing noises and smiling. It’s so awesome.
The other day while prepping the shower for her I put her in the sink for a moment to turn on the water, and she looked so cute there I wanted to have her live in it forever.

Curtis joined us for the shower later so he could revel in her cuteness. Afterward he held her in the towel and made faces at her.


So cute!

A few random from my iPhone today, when we went to the beach. The kids made sandcastles and ‘soup’ while I sat on a blanket and nursed bebe.

Zephyra getting chubby!

This set was entirely from a few days ago when we took a drive to a provincial park with amazing trials and awesome views. It was an epic drive to get there, and we hauled a crapload of stuff with us (including a screaming baby who hates the car. HATES)… but it was worth it. Tempest’s class went on a field trip to this place a week ago, and she was really pumped to go; she’d been talking about it for weeks. Unfortunately, just as she left the house in the morning with her pack and booster seat in hand… she threw up on the sidewalk and we made her stay home (and naturally she was fine for the rest of the day). We made it up to her by planning a family field trip to the same location, and had her bring a notebook to write down all the things she found on the beach.

… But first, she wrote this note to her teachers.

As soon as we got down onto the beach, Tempest pointed out a gorgeous bald eagle sitting just a few meters from us.

Tempest takes notes about her discoveries.

Xan and I walked very slowly toward it until it took flight.

Amazing views.

Xan found this crab shell, totally intact and completely empty. It looked more like a shed skin.

While we walk the trails, Curtis talks to Tempest about how he grew up in the desert and never had any of these beautiful sights around him.

Rocks! Exciting!

Xan found this little spigot for filling up containers with water, below which was a bucket and some stones. He had a lovely time splashing the rocks into the water as we passed.

Wild roses grew everywhere. One of my favourite smells is wild roses… they grew all along the wooden fence surrounding my childhood home. I’ve always wanted a tattoo of them.

Fields of gold. And allergy attacks.

We find a perfect spot for a picnic and unpack on the hill overlooking this vista.

We ate fresh fruit salad and muffins that Curtis had made earlier that day.

“I found flowers for you!”

Zephyra slept through the entire thing.

When we say it’s time to go, Xan pouts along the trail all the way back to the car.

Caterpillars caterpillars everywhere. We’ve had to tell the kids they are no longer permitted to hold them or touch them or anything… because we’ve been dealing with way, WAY too many hitchhikers lately.

Xan finds a good spot to put it down.

Xan was desperate to bring this home to show my mom. It was the first, and last, dead crab we allowed inside the house.

Links of the Day:
Trolling Tumblr – For the sarcastic troll in your heart.
Study: Homophobic men most aroused by gay porn – Bears shit in the woods, you say? I love that they needed a study to show this, as if we didn’t already know it.
A father’s day wish: dads, wake the hell up! – For everyone who doesn’t have that man in their lives, pass this on to them so they can get a clue.
I have no idea what this says in English, but I assume it’s something like, “Catdog: IRL” – Cat pretends to be a dog, until it realizes someone is watching. No, seriously.
I, for one, welcome our bilingual feline overlords.
How to talk to little girls – while the title of this article is borderline creepy, it intrigued me enough to want to read… and I’m glad I did. The article is actually about the way we’ve been trained to open up all conversations with young girls with things like, “You look so pretty!” or, “Look at those lovely eyes!” and other “your looks are what are important in a first impression” messages. The author challenges us to change the way we talk to young girls, even though it may be surprisingly difficult to do at first.

Comments

comments

42 Comments

  • bluealoe says:

    (Sorry this reply is so late, it’s been a crazy week and I’m so behind on LJ.)

    It’s crazy that adding one child doesn’t just add one-third the workload; it’s more like quadrupling it.

    I have no doubt that your breasts are awesome. πŸ˜‰ It sounds like Zephyra’s slowly learning how to nurse more effectively, and I hope it continues to get better.

    The dog thing just pisses me off. Not so much the dog, but the owner…good grief. Those people should be required to take classes on owning up to your responsibility. I’m glad Xan took it in stride, though.

    The chocolate cake sounds utterly amazing. *drools*

    The burglar/fire alarm incident…I think I would have reacted the same way, just assuming it was a false alarm. Especially after living in Alaska, were hardly anyone locks their doors, and then in Japan, where burglary is very rare. But you guys definitely win the good neighbor award of the week. πŸ™‚

    The picture of Zephyra and Curtis after the shower is so adorable I don’t even have words. He looks like a perfect dad. πŸ™‚

    Your trip to the park is reminding me SO strongly of the school trips we used to take to the “beach” when I lived in Juneau as a young child. The same kind of rocky seashore covered in seaweed, the same crabs and starfish and tidal pools…I’m drowning in nostalgia here.

  • ahem. I tried to do this once already but something happened and I ended up three pages back in my browser. So I apologize of you got hit twice with responses from me.

    Anyway, my son has a posterior tie as well. In fact, so do I. I wanted to mention a little bit about my experience just, well, because.

    When my son was born he weighed 5lbs 15oz. At 12 weeks he had gained about half a lb. 6lbs and some change was it. I tried pumping, eyedropper feeding, finger feeding and eventually just had to accept the fact that using a bottle was the only way to get enough calories in him. He was hospitalized for a week because his doctor flipped out and it involved a hellish 8mo of CPS investigations for benign neglect and a whole host of other things. In the end, my poor son was totally weaned from my milk and was on formula till he was almost a year old. I’m happy to report he is doing fine and growing like a little weed.

    I only bring this up because it wasn’t until I was in the hospital with him that I was able to see an IBCLC. She was the only person there who was able to help me figure out what his problem was. We were talking one day and she’s watching me trying to nurse him and noting the problems he had and she made a comment I found funny and so I started laughing. She gently reached out and cupped my chin and asked me to stick out my tongue and then looked under it and she was able to tell me what the problem was. See, I have a severe frontal tongue tie…and a rear one. And so does my son. When he was born he had what looked like the classic issue, v-tip and everything. I had it clipped when we was 8 days old (Irony, yes? We’re jewish, we don’t circumcise…so we clipped his tongue instead…ahaha). aaanyway, turns out, obviously, his tongue tie is SO severe that the only curing it is major oral surgery. Not even the IBCLC was in favor of it if for no other reason than the pain involved at that time in his life would have made nursing difficult anyway and there was no guarantee it would help him nurse to do that. I was concerned about speech problems but the doctor took a good look at my mouth and said mine was just as bad as his is and I don’t have any speech problems at all. Maybe if you listen really closely but the only person who has ever mentioned it to me was a speech therapist who just thought I was from some other town.

    I don’t know what your path will be but I just wanted to share. We chose to wait for surgery for a number of reasons but mainly that I personally didn’t see a point to putting him through all of that if it wasn’t going to definitely help him nurse. One thing that did get my milk into him longer than anything else, though, was a trick my mw told me about; she learned it from the amish: she had me take, I kid you not, a baby bottle nipple and stick it onto my own nipple. It worked so much better than pumping did for me. Unfortunately, it didn’t work forever, his mouth got too big for that and it ended up giving me horrible blisters but it worked! I don’t know if that would help you or not. I have very ridiculously large breasts so he wasn’t just fighting his poor tongue but also the difficulties of getting enough areola in his mouth. I guess on some level it still bothers me, even though he’s almost two. His sisters nursed until they were almost four. Ah well, life throws you curve balls and I’m just glad he grew.

    I wish you all the best with your little one and with the whopping amount she put back on in a week, it sounds like you two are doing great!

    • admin says:

      I cannot tell you how much it pisses me off to read about CPS investigations into moms with breastfeeding problems. Talk about a waste of time. You’d think time and money would be better spent by immediately referring these cases to an accredited IBCLC and getting them some REAL honest-to-god one on one time with someone who can actually help… rather than just spewing out numbers, deadlines and threats. No one fixed a problem by threatening to separate a family for neglect when a mom is obviously trying their damndest. Ugh. I’m sorry that happened to you.

      On the surgery/clip/etc thing: my mom didn’t get hers clipped until she was 2.5 and already had sufficient speech problems. Clipping helped her a lot. For us, I’d go on a case by case basis. Right now her breastfeeding is getting remarkably better, so that says to me that there is a lot of potential for her to be able to manage this without severe oral or speech issues. I would probably say differently if it was clear she wasn’t breastfeeding well at all, and that was due to a physical deformity so bad that it would obviously impede her ability to speak (as well as her tooth and jaw development, caused by improper suction through the developing years, et al).

      • Yeah, talk about a giant pile of steaming horse-shit. It happened, we got very lucky in that we ended up with a caseworker that wasn’t an egotistical, uneducated moron and things turned out ok.

        Ethan is just now beginning to talk so I guess we will know soon if he’s going to need help. My mother was completely unable to nurse me and I really don’t know if it was because of my tongue issues or if it was because of spectacularly lousy advice from her pediatrician. I can only surmise it was a bit of both. I’m really hoping my lil guy isn’t going to need surgery. *crosses fingers*

        Wanna know what’s really sick? One of the reasons the doctor didn’t want surgery for Ethan was because our insurance won’t cover it. Because helping a baby eat properly doesn’t constitute a life-threatening condition. Preventing potential malformation of the jaw and serious speech problems is, according to our insurance company, “cosmetic”. To say that I was furious and sick to my stomach upon hearing this is an understatement.

        • admin says:

          I wish I could say I was surprised at the doctor, but I’m not. There is ONE doctor here who will clip a baby’s tongue tie, or issue a referral to a surgeon for a serious case, because the rest of them apparently do not see ‘unable to breastfeed’ as a good enough reason.

  • sualkin says:

    Max has the same tongue-tie issues as she does and we had a really rough go at nursing. His was made worse by his plagiocephaly.
    He has the short upper one as well.
    I never did get him to latch on correctly. I tried and tried and had LC’s try and it was just too short. Thankfully, at the time, I had plenty of supply and was pumping a ton, so he never lost much weight and got breastmilk from me for 4 months and from other people till nearly a year.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hate being anonymous

    I feel weird posting anonymous comments but I don’t have an LJ account so I don’t know what else to do. This is going to sound weird but I really appreciate listening to your experiences with Zephyra’s nursing. My daughter had a slight tie (not like Zephyra’s, though), and she also lost 12 ounces in her first five days–except she started at 6 lbs. 5 oz. She was skeletal by the time she stopped losing, poor little scrawny baby. πŸ™ Dozy tiny baby+tongue tie+hugely engorged breasts = horrible times nursing. I remember a lactation consultant in the hospital after my c-section telling me I would have to give her a bottle, and I burst into tears. The same bitchy consultant actually took the liberty to send a ENT into our room to do a frenulenectomy! (We said absolutely not! We hadn’t even asked the pediatrician about it yet. They tried to say “well it’s no different than circumcising your son” and I yelled “I wouldn’t have done that either!”) We finally compromised on syringe feeds (I think similar to what you’re calling finger-feeding?) and it took the incredible patience of my mother to get me through the first week or two. We did ultimately give her a bottle, too, because I work part time and my husband had to be able to feed her, but damned if the child never had formula. I refused that crap. It is calming to know that somebody who knows as much about breastfeeding as you do can have the same problems I did my first time out.

    Also…lactational amenhorrea totally doesn’t work for me either. She was a grand total of 4 months old when I started having regular periods again. I was kind of pissed, I didn’t even get a whole year off without one. Thanks for THOSE genetics, mom.

    • admin says:

      Re: Hate being anonymous

      Dude, if there is one thing I have learned in the time I’ve spent writing on this journal it is that bad shit can happen to you no matter HOW prepared or educated or knowledgeable you are (or think you are).

      I was bullied into an unnecessary cesarean, had every breastfeeding problem under the sun, have a child who takes medication daily, was blackmailed by my former landlords and sexually harassed by a boss and then STAYED AT THE JOB FOR EIGHT MONTHS because I needed the money to buy plane tickets… I mean really, I’ve learned a lot in hindsight, but not so much when it’s happening. A long time ago before I had kids when I was innocent and stupid I used to believe that educated people didn’t have those those things happen to them. Ha!

      • Anonymous says:

        Re: Hate being anonymous

        I guess what I was really getting at is that it’s nice to know there was an actual reason that she struggled to nurse and not just my general ineptitude with the process.

        Side note…I don’t think “bullied” is the right word for your cesarean experience. “Forced” is more like it. And my husband was a medicated child, and he turned into an amazing adult. All will be well in the end.

  • 1. Grumpy baby face = adorable

    2. I’m jealous of the copper IUD love. I was really hoping to love mine, but I’ve had it for… 8 months now? And holy shit is it making my life miserable these days. I think I might have to get it removed πŸ™

    3. Tent caterpillars give me the fucking heebie-jeebies. Ugh, so many awful childhood memories of them falling off every fucking tree branch into your clothes, your hair… ugh. *shivers*

    • admin says:

      What’s wrong with your IUD? πŸ™

      • It’s just really painful. When I had the Mirena it started out that way but gradually got better each month until the pain went away entirely. The copper one, however, seems to be almost the opposite. The pain has become more predictable (usually on the first or second day of my period, mainly) but also more intense. I went and had an ultrasound at about the 3 or 4 month mark to make sure it wasn’t out of position or something and she said it was perfect, my body just must be reacting to it somehow (foreign object, or perhaps to the copper itself?). She thought it would improve with time but it isn’t πŸ™

        (And the thing is, the pain isn’t like menstrual cramps. I’m no expert but it seems to me that it’s something more like cervical contractions? They’re sharp, take my breath away/make me cry out, and last for about 10-30 seconds at a time. And come in waves. It’s getting bad enough that I’m concerned about things like driving, or WTF will happen if it happens on my fucking wedding day… ugh.)

        Sorry to hijack your blog! I don’t know many other people with copper IUDs to chat about it with.

        • admin says:

          Have you tried the community ? I hear great things about them. I wonder if you’re not allergic and/or sensitive to copper?…

          And there’s no such thing as hijacking my blog. The comments are always totally off topic and go on random tangents. That’s part of what I enjoy about LJ’s format!

          • I haven’t but thanks for the reminder/link. I should do some more serious research before I make a decision. I’m reluctant to get it removed because i don’t feel like I have a lot of other options open to me. I do wonder about the copper sensitivity idea, although the fact that it only bothers me at a certain point in my cycle had me thinking that might not be the case?

            • gardenmama says:

              Just curious, but why did you switch from the Mirena?

              • A few reasons, all related to the hormone content. I suspected it might have been contributing to my depression (oral contraceptives and I have a terrible history for this, in particular.) Also, my mother had hormone-responsive breast cancer caused (in her doctor’s opinion) by HRT, so I’m just a little skittish about hormones in general.

                • gardenmama says:

                  I switched in the hopes that it was contributing to my hormonal migraines. Turns out it wasn’t, but at least now that I have my cycle back I can’t track the ups and downs of my hormone shifts and we’ve been able to pinpoint when I’m getting headaches and better medicate them. I often feel like I can feel the IUD in my uterus though, whereas I never could with the Mirena. And lately I’ve had a lot of spotting when I ovulate, which has never happened before and it is a little annoying.

                  Good luck figuring out your problems with the copper IUD. They are a great option, for those they work for πŸ˜‰

  • mybonnykate says:

    Oh, she is radiant. The b/w sleeping scowl closeup of her face is perfection.

  • I always have felt a little silly saying this, because I have heard people say that you can’t really tell when the baby is that young who they resemble but…I see a lot of Curtis in her already. What do you think?

  • Anonymous says:

    Splash Happy!

    I’m as ecstatic about the Xan/rocks picture as he is about the actual water and rocks! If only adults could be so purely happy with the simple things in life. I’m vowing to get “splash happy” about at least one thing a day, from now on. Children teach the best lessons πŸ™‚

    Love the new layout banner thingy, you have a beautiful family!

  • gardenmama says:

    I love wild roses best too. We have some springing up here and there around the property πŸ™‚

    I was one of those “weird” women who didn’t want to wait six weeks to have sex either πŸ˜‰ My bleeding never lasted that long, and I was more than ready to have non-pregnant sex! I like my copper IUD ok, but I liked the Mirena better. Finally, after almost a year now, my periods no longer have epic bleed-through-everything days of cramping-can’t-get-out-of-bed pain πŸ˜›

  • briannablade says:

    Oh my gosh, she’s gorgeous. It makes me want a little girl so badly (I have two boys and the youngest is 3).

    I’m totally with you on the sex front. I was like that as well and people looked at me like I was nuts. The only thing is that I had an IUD put in at 6 weeks PP and when my uterus had finally got “back to normal” the damn thing had been moved and I had a lot of trouble with it as a result. Just thought I’d mention so you can ask the midwife about that kind of thing. I think the doctors were wrong, but they tell me it was the smaller uterus. I don’t know what the real deal was all I know is that all the problems and hospital visits as a result were bogus and something was not right.

    Those pictures of the coast and the eagle and bugs are AMAZING. I so wish that I lived closer to you so that I could hire you to photograph us πŸ™‚ Besides the fact that I’d love to talk to you about Tempest and her autism since my son is very similar to her.

    I know this is getting all gushy on you, but I wanted to tell you that you’ve had a HUGE impact on my life. You’ve changed the way that I parent my children and how I look at life in general. I know you don’t know me from Adam (and really, who was that guy anyway?) but I needed to tell you that you’ve changed my life and touched it. I talk to my husband about you like I know you personally instead of just over the internet. You’re so real and down to earth and … I just admire you a lot. I’ve been a follower for some time on here and sometimes comment, although I always feel weird doing so since I know you don’t know me. But I wanted to say something today because I can’t stop thinking about your birth with Zephyra and the impact it’s had on my day to day life.

    /end emotional gushiness

  • So just to clarify why haven’t you had her tongue tie fixed?

    Have you tried yoga for your chronic pain?

    I kid, I kid.

    Not sure if I congratulated you yet, what a beautiful baby, a job well done! I love reading your entries before sleeping because i have the sweetest dreams about your family. Tempest and I are kindred spirits.

  • danica says:

    weird that you mentioned Wild roses, our house is surrounded by them, two acres of them! It smells amazing!! I went out last night and made wild rose jam http://www.duppadee.com it turned out FANTASTIC, my daughter had some on toast this am, and if a 2 year old loves it, who wouldn’t…well she eats anything, and she seldom gets jam because of the sugar content but it was GOOD.

  • Anonymous says:

    Amazing pictures…that eagle is so cool. We see a lot of hawks here, but seldom eagles. They’re so impressive and a bit intimidating!
    We have also had to impose the “no dead crabs” in the house although we do have quite our share of rocks, sticks, leaves, and miscellanea that seem to sneak in almost daily and one freakingishly smelly horseshoe crab “sunning” out on the porch πŸ˜‰

  • moonridden says:

    YES! 19 oz in one week is incredible! =D

    Fuck depending on lactational amenorrhea. I swear to fuck, at least 1/4 of my flist has babies from that good old dependable form of BC. I ♥ my copper T with fireworks. Yay, copper T!

    That article on how to talk to little girls was really good.

    That article about wake up, dads made me cry. Oh man … yes, we’ve made so much progress …

  • She looks SO much like Tempest! I really see it in those first two pictures of her.

  • eponine82 says:

    Such lovely memories! I remember when my babies nursed, their lips cracked and peeled more than my nipples did! Do you have any remedies for that? Zephyra seems like she has well moistened lips πŸ™‚

  • jeca777 says:

    aaaaaand I just ovulated.

    XAN IS LIKE TWICE THE SIZE OF ZEPHYRA! omg! Well, I mean in the pouch pictures. haha πŸ˜€

  • dvdsky81 says:

    Holy crap! The barking cat has to be the funniest thing Ive seen in a looong time!
    “woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof wo- oh, uh…meow?”

    LOL

  • imbroglio says:

    Tayne had no lingual frenulum and a posterior tie too, and he had an attached upper lip frenulum also. I didn’t breastfeed him so I never encountered any real problems with feeding him, but he couldn’t stick his tongue out AT ALL until he was 3 after things kind of moved around in his mouth. I probably should have had his upper lip frenulum cut but at the time it freaked me out so much. It came so far down into his gum that it actually ended up causing him to have a gap between his two front teeth. Kinda dumb parenting move on my side there, but I really don’t care about the gap between his teeth anyway and he’s never mentioned it or had a problem with it. Besides, I’ve read that people who have a gap between their two front teeth will be rich, lol.

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