This is how I spent my Mother’s Day afternoon:

My birthday was on the 6th and Curtis treated me to a sushi dinner at my favourite restaurant while my mom watched the kids. When we came home two hours later we returned to find that Xan had conspired with Tempest in some unknown way to take scissors to his ponytails because he, “wanted them taken out” and it for some reason didn’t occur to him that he could either pull the elastics out or ask someone to do it for him. Fucking four year olds, how do they work?
Curtis was so pissed that he stomped through the house gathering every pair of scissors we had and put them all on top of the highest shelf he could find, grumbling about how they’ll never use scissors again as long as they live, for any reason. From now on you are tearing your fucking paper into circles at craft time!

His hair was so uneven and gross-looking with these huge chunks just sort of sticking out everywhere. For the first day I just left it alone because I’d been feeling awful and had no energy to give a solitary fuck about how bizarre he looked. Every time we left the house people looked at him funny. Naturally he didn’t care, because he loves any attention that comes his way, and for some reason I also couldn’t be bothered… I think a part of me was hoping it would somehow get better while he slept that night and we’d all wake up in the morning forgetting it ever happened. Unfortunately it didn’t work like that. On the second day I wouldn’t let him leave the house before I evened it out. I’ve never cut hair with the exception of buzzing Curtis’ head a dozen times over the last few years, and once giving him a proper haircut some months back (the fantastic results of which I’m not sure I can replicate, though he needs another cut bad) so I wasn’t looking forward to trying to fix Xan’s head. My friends encouraged me to just buzz it off because it will grow back quickly, and thicker, and it also makes an effective punishment because I know how much he’ll hate it. That sounds cruel but for fuck’s sake, why did you cut off your long hair if you loved it so much?!

I really, really hate short buzzed hair on little boys: they look like mean little bulldogs and it’s so stereotyped. It seems like when it comes to boys under six, 95% of them have the exact same hairstyle because, “They’re boys” and “They should look like boys”. Curtis hates it for the same reason. They all look generic, mean, and dumb. I just hate it.
I also needed to get his hair evened out and he had less than an inch in the spots he’d cut off. Argh. I sat him down in the dining room on one of our kitchen chairs, pinned a craft tablecloth around him, set the clippers on 1/2″ and started taking off his beautiful locs of hair. He leaned forward and watched them all fall to the ground, dumbstruck.
“That’s my hair,” he said quietly, a little fascinated.
“Yes it is! This is what has to happen if you cut off your hair!” I was so pissed but inside I was crying. His poor hair! I had to fight back tears. I blamed it on being pregnant, because clearly if I wasn’t currently knocked up I wouldn’t be as affected and would act like a normal, mean parent… right?

I tried to leave as much as I could down the center of his head so that he’d have a little bit to work with and style. When I was done I grabbed some pomade and spiked up a little fauxhawk. I tried to like it, but I couldn’t.
Curtis walked over to observe the end of it. Every time Xan looked up at him he’d cross his arms and look firm, but every time he turned away Curtis would mouth, “But it’s cute…” to me.
“No it isn’t,” I answered.
“Just a little. Maybe.”
“Not even a little? You have to admit–“
Curtis bent down to Xan, “It doesn’t look bad, it looks cute.” Xan smiled impishly in return. He ran off to check out his new ‘do in the mirror and spent an outrageously long time in there without making a sound. When we finally got him out he moped across the house with a furrowed brow, as though he was feeling very unsure of the results.
“I barely have any hair left,” he said. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this!”

Well, you probably should have thought of that before you cut it all off, huh?

I was still too unhappy to give a warm, loving, motherly response to Curtis stepped in to remind him that he’d get used to it. Which he did. Within five minutes. And now he’s acting like it ain’t no thang which totally defeats the purpose of this whole thing and now he has no motivation to not do it again!
Although the following morning he did throw a brief tantrum over the fact that I couldn’t put his hair in ponytails again.

It’s been a few days with the style now. It’s growing on me. He looks so different. Tempest wrinkles her nose and says, “It looks weird. He doesn’t look like Xan anymore”. He’s so… serious looking now.

Two thumbs sideways.

Emo Xan.

It looks almost like he’s wearing eye makeup in this one, it’s like he’s a member of The Cure or something.

In other news: not one to allow the Americans to monopolize the stage with their exciting Osama thing, Canada attempted to revolt against Bush, Part II Harper, forced an election and tried to throw him out. While the voter turn-out was still disappointingly low, there was amazing excitement in young voters for the first time in ever and Canada saw a campaign and response similar to the “Rock the Vote” youth movement that went down in the USA a few years back, ending in Obama’s victory. We definitely had stars in our eyes that our revolution against fuckwadery would end in the same success theirs did…
… And instead the bastard was not only re-elected, but won majority government.

Our electoral system is fucked: 60% of people voted to throw the guy out and miraculously he wins bigger, so now he actually has more power than he did before this whole thing even started. Splits all across the country in major ridings essentially handed the position to him.

Although several historic things happened that we all are appreciating:
– The NDP party crushed the Liberals and we all saw orange for the first time.
– For the first seat went to A GREEN PARTY LEADER which has never happened in Canada’s history. In fact, she beat out an incumbent Conservative who has been in his seat for something like 14 years. I mean… what? Seriously? When she showed up for her victory speech she honestly looked as shocked as the rest of us.
– The Bloc Quebecois seem to be toast, and even though the province has been fiercely loyal to the Bloc since they came together in the mid 90’s, they completely turned and voted a jaw-dropping 64 seats to the NDP.

For those of you scratching your heads through this, you aren’t alone. Most of us can’t figure out what the fuck is going on with our electoral system either, and despite being taught this stuff in school for several grades I only really started understanding Canada’s politics and leaders in the last 5 or so years. You guys in the USA have a pretty simple system from our perspective: two opposing parties weed themselves down to a choice leader of each, and then the polls open to the public who then choose who they like best and whoever gets the most votes wins the White House. Plus, something about Ralph Nader…
But us? Not that simple: we have a multi-party system that’s supposed to give a number of platforms the chance to get elected, but we end up more like a two-and-two-halves party system consisting of the Conservatives and Liberals as the main contenders, then the NDP (New Democratic Party) and the Bloc Quebecois as the halves who just sort of sit back and look pretty. Going down another few steps we have the Green and various write-ins or Independents who wish they were real parties, but barely qualify to fetch coffee for the big guys. As for the politics of the two main parties: Conservatives are self-explanatory, but the Liberals are actually far more central than liberal, so don’t be fooled by the name.
The Liberals have pretty much been running things since they began somewhere around 1920; but after losing majority government in 2004 they started giving serious ground to the Conservatives, and now the Cons are in power under Stephen Harper. Who is George Bush a massive fucking douchebag.

Who shows up on your ballot depends on your area: one riding may be voting between Conservative and Liberals while another may also have Green, Bloc and the Rhinoceros party to choose from. The latter being a party that claims to be spiritual descendants of a Brazilian rhino that was elected to city council in Sao Paulo*.
We don’t actually vote for our Prime Minister in elections, we vote for the person in our riding (aka: electoral district, constituency) that we want to be an MP (member of parliament). That part is pretty straight-forward: each party leader in that riding campaigns for votes, people vote for who they want, whoever gets the most votes out of any candidate (plurality) – rather than who got 50+% (majority) – wins. That person becomes an above-mentioned MP and gains one of currently 308 seats in the House of Commons. Each party has already elected its leader, and whichever party has the most MPs/seats… their fancypants is now the Prime Minister, even though the people never voted for them specifically (except in his or her own riding).

Now for that whole ‘majority/minority’ thing, which I suspect a few of you have already figured out:
A majority government happens with 155 (?) or more of those seats are filled by a single party, in this case the Conservatives. A minority is when the seats are more randomized and no single party holds 50% or more of the House. In general, minority governments are nicer to have regardless of who is running the show because it forces the parties to create alliances and work together more effectively. The Canadian people get more representation, and the smaller parties that otherwise wouldn’t be heard can have a voice. Majority government means we’re all sort of stuck listening whoever got the most seats and the Prime Minister gets to put everyone else at the loser table if he feels like it.

We have officially unfixed terms, as far as I recall, but we generally do elections once every 4-5 years and Prime Ministers or riding leaders can be re-elected what seems like FOREVER provided their party continues to get the most seats and no one has removed them from their position.
Follow all that? Neither did I. Now back to what I was saying.

Despite how it turned out, I’ve never been more excited to vote. I showed up a half hour before the polls closed and there were still people in long lines trailing out the door. My dad was there at 8am to beat the crowd and waited 45 minutes for his turn.
Curtis was also able to vote for the first time, as a permanent resident of Canada. I wish I’d been able to take a picture, because he looked like a kid on Christmas morning as he walked back with his little paper ballot and immediately stood exactly 10.6 inches taller.

A lot of people are pissed over the results, obviously, since the Conservatives didn’t get the popular vote. There’s also a lot of reports of voter fraud, particularly in ridings where the Conservatives were not polling well. There were incidents like people getting phone calls or emails and letters that told them their polling area had changed so they traveled across town or otherwise went way out of their way only to find out they couldn’t vote and no longer had the time or capability to get to the right location. We personally witnessed three such incidents when we went in to vote, but were unable to offer rides to the affected women because they required an accessibility vehicle. Harper also broke the rules by campaigning on the radio on election day. Everyone just keeps getting away with this bullshit, and yet I was just reading that Canada’s system is ranked #1 in the Americas and really high when compared to the rest of the world. It kind of makes me want to scream.

Anyway… all hail Harper, Bush’s long lost brother, who is slowly trying to turn us into America Part II. The USians out there can try and forgive me for not being too thrilled about that.

So Curtis has this new job, and we’re really, really happy about it. He’s been handing out resumes and attending interviews for almost two months now, netting an encouraging amount of responses that resulted in a discouraging amount of actual new employment. Every single time he rocked an interview that ended with owners shaking his hand and telling him he’s awesome, giving him an estimate for when he’ll come in for his first shift and reveal how much they’ll pay… they suddenly flake out don’t call him back. He waits a polite two days before inquiring, only to find that they ended up hiring some kid who is willing to work any shift for $10.25 an hour.
His current job (old job now, suckers!) is absolute ass and he’s been stuck as the kitchen manager and sous chef and generally “runs the entire fucking place” guy for nearly a year while getting paid less than your average delivery boy. He’s ridiculously loyal and hard-working to a fault, so he ended up staying with this place even after they admitted they weren’t going to be able to pay him what was agreed-upon at the time he was hired. He felt bad that the owners had been royally screwed by this guy that came in shortly after Curtis and effectively stole all their money. He “didn’t want to be that guy” who promises big and then bails when the going gets tough, so he decided he would stay to help them rebuild their reputation for a while… even if it’s at a loss.

Initially, they seemed very grateful for this and appeared to appreciate his style of work; giving him total and complete control of the menu, specials and orders and immediately they saw a gradual increase in business as their customer base grew. Every time he wrote up the weekend specials they sold out within hours; compliments were streaming in.
However, as these things tend to turn out, it became obvious that the owners weren’t simply screwed by some random jerk: they were hopeless with business and tended to make really, really bad decisions. They managed to run what was once a busy cafe with a rich, 20-year history into the fucking ground in less than a year and when Curtis began trying to have an opinion on their actions (ie. refusing to lie to customers about “fresh food” when they were actually making him craft dishes from shit they poured out of a can), they cut his hours to half of what he was working before and took him off the weekends so they could hire some young inexperienced guy for $10 an hour.
For some reason, immediately following this staff change, they lost nearly 100% of their weekend business and stopped selling out their specials. Or even selling any specials at all. They quickly became too broke to afford to keep the place, and have now sold it. In just under 3 weeks it will become a blank canvas for some new owners who hopefully have more than two brain cells to rub together for warmth.

Huh, wonder what happened…

Weirdest part? When Curtis told the owners that he had a new job and this Sunday was his last day, they both seemed genuinely thrilled and congratulated him repeatedly over the phone, saying things like, “You deserve this, you’re SUCH a good cook and you do amazing work!”.
Well if you really thought so…

The only thing that sucks about the new place is the hours: 9:30 to 4:30, but usually to 5:30, and since he also bikes to and from work it means he’s not home until dinner five nights a week. He purposefully avoided answering ads that were only requesting help for dinner shifts because he doesn’t want to end up as the father who only sees his kids for two hours a week; for him, family is the number one priority, much more so than making a great wage. To a lot of people that is a completely insane idea, but I deeply respect it: I’d rather be a poor, loving family than one who is rich and lonely. His commitment to his kids, and to me, is something I’m grateful for every single day of my life. Part of that is rooted in his own experiences of growing up extremely lonely with parents who both worked evenings and graveyard shifts. Through most of his life he’d see his parents for a maximum of 15-45 minutes per day, and was largely left alone to amuse himself through television, video games, the internet and junk food that was left on the counter for him. The times he did see his parents they were either exhausted or angry, and they never took the time to do things together on their days off save for a yearly vacation. While they were your typical mid-to-upper class, conservative, religious Americans – spoiled with anything they wanted – Curtis grew up miserable, overweight, depressed and alone. It would kill him to put his kids through even a second of that, and we’ve been fortunate to have the privilege of job availability and good education that has resulted in the ability to choose shifts that work better for what we want.

He was really concerned that I wouldn’t be able to handle the new hours and all that extra time alone with the kids now that I’m in late pregnancy and experiencing all these pain problems, but I’m feeling pretty confident that I’ll be okay because this situation is temporary and I can easily see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s going to be the most tough for the next few months, and from there the days will become considerably easier to handle. Xan starts full day Kindergarten in September, and Tempest will be in 3rd grade, which means I’ll be home alone with a new baby who does very little other than sleep, eat and poop and I’ll have plenty of down time if I need it. In fact, it’s the first time in my life where I’m truly a “new mom” in the traditional sense, and I’m actually looking forward to the new experience.


Back to what’s current: until summer break Xan attends preschool three days a week for only a few short hours, so he ends up at home with me for the vast majority of the week. He’s been an absolute disaster in the way only a four year old can be, so I was not looking forward to that first week of “transitional tenderness” as we adjust to the new work hours. Xan is ridiculously attached to Curtis and has been since infancy, so I was anticipating an epic battle of wills day, after day, after day, until he finally got used to the idea that Curtis was not going to come home in the middle of the afternoon anymore. However, Xan ended up surprising me. While his behavior is far from perfect, it’s definitely well within the range of tolerable and even dipping into “pretty great” every so often. We read books, we play board games, we go for walks and he talks non-stop for 6 hours… he’s even lets me sneak in a morning nap most days by asking for a few episodes of The Backyardigans or Miyazaki films when he finishes breakfast. Since pregnancy insomnia keeps me up until 4-6am every night, this is much appreciated.
Over the last week I’ve managed to cross a number of things off my to-do list that I wasn’t able to even dream of getting to largely due to Xan’s insanely challenging behavior as of late. We’ve gone shopping, spent time at the post office several days in a row, taken long walks almost every afternoon, made muffins and other fun foods, bought homebirth supplies (we’ve got nearly everything now) and gone for bike rides… we even started working on my belly cast. As in, the belly cast I did while pregnant with Xan. I haven’t even set aside the time to do Fuzz’s yet, though I should get on that soon. A few days ago he actually sat down with me for over an hour happily helping me cover the cast with plaster of paris for stability, then sand it down a bit and coat it with two layers of gesso. We’ll do another sanding and gesso layer before it’s ready for paint. I’ve finally decided on the design, though transferring my mental image to something I can put on a cast is going to be rather challenging considering how much I fucking suck as an artist. I’m not sure where to begin. At least if I royally screw up I can always just repaint the whole thing white and start over with a blank canvas.

Tempest comes home from school every day at around 3:15 to 3:30, depending on how long she spends climbing trees after school, and she’s also generally well behaved so long as I don’t leave her and Xan alone together or ask them to play nicely while I’m on the phone. The afternoons aren’t too hard, though by that point I’m struck hard with exhaustion and can barely get my ass up to make them a plate of grapes and crackers.
Though, the point to this whole section was that it hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be, though it seems for 1-2 days of every week we all reach our upper level limit of time we’re able to spend together and the rest of the day is shit… as seen in the last entry, and in how history repeated itself this last Saturday as well. At least this time there was no teenager crisis and we made swimming on time!
Plus, under the, “This shit only ever happens to me” heading, this week I had a most hilariously awkward encounter when a woman I’d only just met at a child’s birthday party bent down in front of me, grabbed my knees and yelled, “IN JESSSSUUUSSSS’ NAME I PRAY LIFT THIS WOMAN UP TO YOUR ARMS JEHY-SUUUUS!” for five continuous minutes while staring longingly into my eyes. I’m not even kidding.
When she said, “Can I pray for you?” I really did not think she meant right this second.

Tempest had a choir performance this last week for the school’s 100 year anniversary and brought home tickets for us to attend on Tuesday night. I’ve mentioned before how annoying and inconvenient the school’s complete lack of care for accessibility is, especially in regards to your children’s performances. Or for any reason, really – I can barely go into the office.
Space is limited, so they say, so parents can’t bring anyone extra (like grandparents or siblings), they have no disability seating (a miserable experience I [ talked about some time ago ] ) so we really were not looking forward to doing it again. I ended up calling ahead of time so I could leave a message on the principal’s machine that requested disability access be actually accessible this time. I hate doing that because I really should not have to: accessibility is the kind of shit that should be set up, 100% of the time, regardless of whether or not you think you’ll have a disabled parent coming. Also, she told me that was the best option for me when I complained about their accessibility problems and I don’t really want to give this woman the satisfaction of believing that it’s the right way to solve this problem.

When we arrived the principal stopped the entire line and made everyone back up to let us in, which was totally over the top and embarrassing, but hey at least she gave a shit this time… they had reserved two seats next to the aisle, in the front, with an extra row of space ahead of them so I could actually get up and down without tripping over people. I noticed that several grandparents had also taken advantage of this front row and felt very vindicated. As a result we were able to attend our kid’s play and enjoy it, though not without having a parent/friend come by and ask me how I was feeling, then take the opportunity to tell me how awesome my disability “perks” were. Oh, you got such good seats! At least you get great perks, huh? I’ll be back in my ‘regular’ seating trying hard to see the show while you get front row, teehee.
Oh you like my disability perks, huh? Good parking spaces and nice seats, you say? You know what’s more awesome than these great seats and nice wide parking spots? Not fucking needing them. What a perk it would be for me to not be in constant pain every fucking day, having it affect my mobility to the point where I’m hobbling in carrying a cane, wincing with every step and requiring my partner’s body strength to hold me up while I try to climb several flights of stairs because the school can’t be bothered to run the lift that’s required by law to be functional and easily accessible during this event. It’s such a great perk that I can’t physically get into any other seats in this entire room and had to suffer injury trying to accommodate to their lack of accommodations before anyone even considered setting something up for me!
Want to trade?
Still think this is a “perk” now?
Argh! This is not a “perk” and I don’t drive into the handicapped stall simply because I’m lazy; I do it because I can’t physically walk very far and improving access and accessibility helps make it easier for me to live like you normal people do, taking advantage of things you never even considered not having… like the ability to walk up those three steps in front of the supermarket. But please, do go on telling me how GREAT it is that I get all this “extra treatment” that you so desperately wish you could have – you special snowflake, you. Ass.

The play was over-the-top cheesy and ridiculous, but Tempest’s part in the choir was adorable. Particularly because she was the only child among 60 who turned completely around to face away from the audience while singing so she could watch the dancing that was happening on the stage behind her. Half of the hour-long video we took featured nothing but the back of her head.

This mother’s day, may you joyously and repeatedly reminisce about what got you in this gig in the first place. I know I will be. Although I have discovered a problem: at this stage in pregnancy, with my hip as bad as it is, it is actually possible to fuck it right out of socket. We may have to abandon all-fours as a fan favourite until the baby is born and all that relaxin leaves my system. I’ve been down for three days and my hip still hasn’t stopped spasming.

On a related note, I found this [ very informative site ] about sexuality, sex positions and more that uses little 3D animations of people having sex in varying (heterocentric) positions to help educate and inform couples on how to expand their positional repertoire. It’s a great idea for a site and I kind of wish something like this was around when I was young, curious and far, far more physically capable. Anyway… once stumbling over this I absolutely had to go looking through all the ridiculous positions I could find. Some of them are so over the top that I’m not entirely sure they’re real, or that they exist beyond very bad porn. Then there are others that I’m convinced only exist for the sake of saying you’ve done it, because really… [ this shit right here? ] This is like two half-dead fish flopping about on each other as they gasp for air. Who has sex like this? More importantly, who has sex like this and enjoys it?

Video of the Day:
When I say baby kicks and rolls in these really crazy intense ways, I am not kidding you. I’ve never had a fetus move quite like she does.

Quotes of the Day:
While chatting about where to find a new birth pool, I remarked to Curtis how odd it is that there are so many “Heather”s in the local birth community. One midwife, 5-6 doulas, a receptionist for a midwife, a birth pool rental girl, and more… it’s like all the women here named Heather all got the same idea at the same time. Every time someone mentions one, the inevitable, “Which Heather?” follows.
Curtis: “You realize that if you were ever kidnapped at a local birth convention, you’d be fucked.”

Me, to Curtis: “Did you see Lady Gaga’s new video?”
Curtis: “No, why? Is it super weird?”
Me: “It’s not bad, but it is kinda weird.”
Curtis: “Well, that do–“
Tempest, interrupting from across the room and sounding very offended: “Well yeah mom, she’s supposed to be a weird singer!”

At dinner Xan demands ketchup and mustard for his burrito, and then tries to spoon sour cream into his water to “flavour it”. These are regular occurrences with him; he has this thing for mixing sauces and food in the most disgusting, puke-inducing ways. He’s going to be one of those kids that eats ants at recess.
Tempest sat across from him as he did this the other night, recoiling in horror but unable to look away. She wrinkled her nose, “Oh my god. Daddy, Xan is going to grow up to be the grossest boy”.

Random image of the day:
This was in the ‘designer boxers’ section of a department store when Curtis and I were in there picking him up some new underwear. They had a whole line of boxers devoted to Loony Tunes characters with this fancy writing and sweeping embellishments; Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Tasmanian Devil and Elmer Fudd… and then this:

Over the crotch it reads, “So cute. So speedy. So Small”.

When I look at shit like this I can’t help but stand there scratching my head and imagining a boardroom full of people staring at this and saying, “That’s perfect, let’s launch it”.

Tempest falling asleep on the floor after being forced to sit in the corner after a hellacious evening full of terrible baddery.

Links of the Day:
Darth Vader does Michael Jackson at Disneyland – Curtis comments, “Where does one find a professional Michael Jackson/Darth Vader impersonator? I want one for my birthday.”
“How many gays must God create before we accept that he wants them around?” – While “gays” as a label still makes my skin crawl, that doesn’t detract from this very moving and thought-provoking statement by Representative Steve Simon on accepting homosexuality through religion, (as spoken at the Minnesota hearing to amend the constitution by banning gay marriage).
Doulas make birth better – A compilation of ‘thank you’ messages as presented by CAPPA.
Pomppufillis! – (Translation: bouncy feeling) I have no idea what’s going on here, but I felt significantly happier after watching.
“Just a word” – Read this and think about it… because it isn’t ‘just a word’. And I hope if you’re the type of person to throw this term around, that you find it in your heart to stop.
Canada’s voting map – This adequately sums up what happened.
The Book of Mormon complete playlist – If you’ve been curious about this production, you can listen to all the songs here.
Stop being ‘shocked’ by isms – This is a great, eye-opening essay about the standard, “I’m SHOCKED that happened” response to news of racism or oppression; it’s a good primer for white people, men, those who are cisgender/sexual or anyone else who holds privilege. Having uttered the phrase very frequently myself, including recently, this was jarring and gave me a good perspective of just how far I have yet to come in learning about unpacking my privilege when I communicate with people.

*You may think I’m kidding, but I’m not. [ No really, I’m not ].




  • nicolechan says:

    WOW! When you say your baby moves like crazy, you mean it! I guess it takes the visual to fully understand! It looks like someone pushing around in a balloon or something… your skin looks thin because of how hard she pushes on it. It’s pretty awesome to see!

  • myluckeestar says:


    Hey Heather, I know you are super busy like trying to have a baby but whenever you see this, I need some advice. I have a friend who is allergic to just about every chemical under the sun. I know where to find your no poo stuff but I am wondering if you have any suggestions for conditioning dry hair or something to use as an anti frizz? I suggested olive oil to her but I don’t really know much about these kinds of things. πŸ™‚


  • bluealoe says:

    First of all, this is ridiculously late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Oh, Xan…*shakes head* Well, at least it’ll make a good story in a few years (or decades), right? I think he looked asorable with longer hair, and he looks adorable with shorter hair, too. But I’m glad you didn’t buzz it all off, that would have just been wrong.

    The Canadian electoral system just confuses me. I remember talking to someone from Vancouver when I was there, and she was saying she was going to vote for the party she liked, even though she didn’t like the particular candidate. I couldn’t understand why, since I was always told “vote for the person, not the party”. Then she explained about how the prime minister isn’t elected, it’s based on the party, and then I gave up trying to figure it out.

    Though the US system isn’t as simple as it seems either, with the electoral college and all. (Stupid electoral college…it’s based on the idea that the common people are too dumb to vote for the president, so the “gentlemen” have to do the voting for everyone.)

    Yay for Curtis voting! Though the electoral fraud makes me want to punch something (or someone).

    New job! Woohoo!!! The previous job sounds like hell.

    I was JUST thinking about belly casts the other day, wondering if you were going to do one for Fuzzbaby.

    The accessibility issues…..grrr! It pisses me off that people have to go through that just to get a chance to do something as commonplace as watch their child’s concert. Good grief. And I wish people would stop thinking that accessibility options are “perks”. I’ve seen enough people with disabilities/mobility issues go through hell trying to do basic everyday tasks to understand that accessibility isn’t about special privileges; it’s about giving people a chance to live life as normally as they can. Why can’t people get that?!

    That sex positions website is fascinating. Did you see the Monkey Bar? I mean, what the hell?

    That is some insane fetal movement. How can you concentrate on anything when she’s moving like that??

    The speech by Steve Simon was amazing. Good for him! And the “just a word” and “shocked” articles were excellent, everyone should read them.

  • keilababe says:

    Wow….maybe it’s just me, but I call ALL those positions where I’m on my back missionary. Legs up, legs down, him in whatever position, hanging from the ceiling, etc. It’s missionary. But now I think I get why a former boyfriend of mine looked at me crazy when I told him that I was tired of always doing it missionary.

  • Creepy lurker here de-lurking to leaving a creepy TMI comment, but I actually enjoy that “acrobat” position (though I had no idea what the official name of it was…) and my partner seems to enjoy it too, so there’s at least two of us! πŸ˜› It’s actually kind of an amazing position for anal sex…probably not so good on the knees, but mine have yet to complain. Alright, done with the TMI, sorry! You have the most interesting links…

    Also, I completely agree with you about the buzzed haircuts on little boys (or anyone, really, it makes it hard for me to tell people apart if they have buzzed hair) but Xan’s fauxhawk is pretty adorable and I’m impressed that you managed to get a nice looking cut after he mutilated his poor hair! When I was four I cut my little sister’s hair and proudly presented her to my mom, saying “Isn’t she beautiful?!” and she was so pissed, I thought she was rude for not even pretending she thought my sister was beautiful (my sister was two, so she probably didn’t even notice…) and there was definitely no way to cut her hair to something normal-looking, so she just looked funny for a few weeks. πŸ˜› Do you/does Xan plan to grow it back out, do you think?

    • admin says:

      Anal sex is one I didn’t consider, actually… that makes sense. Although I personally couldn’t imagine it because I like feeling the depth and pressure and it seems like there wouldn’t be much ‘control’ of that (for PIV or anal) when you’re in that position?…

      re: hair – I’ve been trying to let his hair grow out to something more easily shaped and styled for some time. He desperately loves long hair and always talks about how much he adores having pigtails. Unfortunately, even when it was longer it’s been in a sort of awkward phase for about six months, so maybe this will be a blessing in disguise as his hair will now grow faster and thicker.

      • I imagine it depends entirely on the anatomy of the individuals involved, but I find that the angle is not so great for depth/pressure control for PIV yet it’s the perfect angle for anal, incredible g-spot stimulation that way. Bodies are strange and surprising!

    • starpolish says:

      I’ll second that TMI. My ex and I used this one fairly often just to change things ups a bit. It wasn’t my favorite but it was fun. It helps if the man is much bigger, height wise.

  • lastweek says:

    Wow, that video is impressive! I had a similar view of my preggo belly as I was watching, and my baby (35 weeks) started moving around at about the time I pressed play. Your belly shaker wins, hands down.

  • Anonymous says:

    But– but– but– and not to nitpick, but I know this from experience: permanent residents can’t vote! What’s the deal?
    – Marie

    • admin says:

      That’s what I believed, too… but when we got there I asked the voting crew and they said that if you are a permanent resident of Canada and posses a card stating so, (or papers), you absolutely can vote. So, we ran home and got all his papers and his permanent resident card and registered him. πŸ™‚

    • admin says:

      Hmm. I went and searched it and I keep finding conflicting information on it. Maybe it changed very recently? Maybe he qualified because he’s been in the country for over 5 years and qualifies to BECOME a citizen if he wanted to? Maybe it’s only in some provinces or ridings?

      I have no idea. When I asked the guy, he turned to the other guy and said, “Can PRs vote?” and Guy2 pulled out a book and said, “Yes, provided he has his card”. Curtis was registered without issue when we brought various forms of ID (we were desperate to register him so we brought EVERYTHING from our marriage certificate to his immigration receipts) and it was totally no problem. He was done in five minutes and got his first vote on the spot.

    • fallingwthu says:

      I wasn’t sure either, but here’s the website that says he can’t vote.

      I know this is moot point though, it’s just very interesting to notice.

  • Steve Simon had be in tears with goosebumps on my arms. I’m SO SO SO proud that someone in politics finally said something that actually makes a lick of sense.

  • oh boy you met a new Dorina!

  • admin says:

    “But truth, they’ll “look into it” as long as it takes for Canadians to forget they were ever looking into it in the first place!”

    This. Ugh.

  • Yeah, this election was pretty crazy. No one saw the collapse of the Bloc coming. Or the utter fail that was the Liberal party.

    I hate the current first-past-the-post system; there was a lot of talk in the 2004 election about holding a referendum on proportional representation, and the NDP and Green Party still talk about it, but its mostly fallen off the radar.

    Not voting directly for the PM has never been a big concern for me. Canadian political parties have pretty strict discipline and vote on party lines. I know my MP will vote the way his party leader tells him to vote.

    Elections have to happen every 5 years – but the PM can call an election earlier (e.g. to capitalize on high approval ratings and win another term – see Jean Chretien). There are no term limits like there are for American presidents.

    Also, our senate is unelected and useless.

    • admin says:

      I knew I could count on you to chime in and add more info to this. πŸ™‚ It took me probably a dozen attempts just to write out what I did above, and I had to research it to make sure I had it at least partially correct. I’m glad to know I didn’t fail too miserably.

      The senate was the part I couldn’t get. I spent some time reading about it and just… did not understand.

      • Well, Canada inherited a political system from Britain, so the Senate is like the British House of Lords (except appointed, not inherited). Sometimes, the Senate will scrutinize legislation from the House of Commons, maybe send it back for revision. And sometimes they just rubber-stamp things while the Senate Pages bring them alcohol disguised as water.

        In the 2006 election Harper came out in support of an elected Senate, but hasn’t actually moved on it yet. A shame, since it’s the only part of his platform I’ve ever liked. I think any changes to the senate mean changes to the constitution though, which hasn’t gone well in the past.

        I was also support abolishing the senate entirely.

  • admin says:

    I wanted to cry after the results went up, too. πŸ™ I’m so discouraged. Why is this man still in power?! Why are so many people voting for him!? He has completely fucked our international reputation and destroyed so many of the things that made Canadians proud to be Canadians! Polls even say we hate him, and yet here he is, now even more smug than ever? WHAT THE FUCK. Argh. πŸ™

    And on the fraud: it is true, the CBC (?) was running stories about it online… so was the Times. The official word is that it’s being “looked into” but we all know how that will go.

  • effervescent says:

    Oh god, I’m Canadian and I thought you were JOKING about that Rhinoceros party thing. *amused*

    Also, that video is awesome. And here I thought that babies this far along were too cramped to move… She will MAKE room, clearly. πŸ˜€

    • admin says:

      We also have a pirate party!

      Too cramped to move: they usually are, and by this point in pregnancy I’m usually feeling the slowdown from babies getting too big. She’s crazy long but appears to be thin enough to have room to move her feet around quite a bit and is moving a LOT MORE than any of the others did at this stage. I’ve gone completely numb over the top of my belly.

  • fallingwthu says:

    Your link of the day

    the first one is Darth Jackson, he was on on Britain’s Got Talent back in 2009, was in the top 10. I’m glad to see he’s got a lot of work now as he’s hysterical and very entertaining.

    BTW, here’s his debut video.

    sorry for the quality.

    As for Elisabeth May, i voted for her. Woot.

    About your son and his hair, kids don’t know what they’re doing half the time. It will grow back in faster and thicker.

    Here’s a good example, my middle kid has been so sick lately, you know feeling dizzy, vomiting, etc. Well yesterday we are at the doctors and he discovers part of a rivet in her ear putting pressure right against the inner ear causing her to feel dizzy etc. She doesn’t even remember putting the rivet there, but she had.

    Anyways, good luck with your baby, I noticed that you’re basically ready when she’s ready.

    Hugs take care of yourself. I know it must have been so hard to cut your sons hair…

  • Anonymous says:

    I don’t like shaved hair on little boys either. We have gone back and forth between long hair and short hair though since he was about 18 months old. I like it long better, but he decides if he wants to cut it or not, and he sometimes decides to cut it. Now that he is five I have been making him keep it shorter because he wines and complains every morning when I try to comb through it. Boy or girl – I don’t have the patience to fight with my kid every morning.

    Also, Xan’s hair looks really cute – though I know you are probably not crazy about hearing that since it’s not the way you like it. I think it will actually be cuter once it grows an inch or two, but it is nice to see his pretty eyes! And I would say the same thing if it was Tempest’s hair, so it’s not that it’s cute because he’s a boy and I think it should be short, it’s just that it’s fun to change things up sometimes and kids faces can look so sweet with short hair.

  • Cassie gave herself one hell of a mullet over a year ago. The first ‘trim’ was somewhat blended into her bangs/hair, but the second butchering was so bad I just left it. The only thing that any hairdresser could have done was give her a super short pixie cut which I refused to do. It took 8-9 months to grow it to the point where they could do something with it. It was horrible…

    I just sent Matt the sex position link with a note of: ‘Where do we start?’. That is, once the shingles go away and I’m not horribly embarrassed of my own face. >_<

  • crunchynurse says:

    Buzz cuts

    I started buzz cutting my oldest son’s hair because it was just so thick, wavy and unmanageable. In addition, he was not brushing it and would scream bloody murder when I did. Although the first buzz cut he screamed the entire time, but he doesn’t seem to mind any more. Now I buzz my younger son as well but I use longer combs because he has very fine hair. I would like to have a more interesting hairstyle for them but I can’t afford to take them for haircuts regularly and the clippers are so much faster. My little one whines the whole freaking time I cut his hair so faster is better, IMO. Pics on one of my blogs. I do let my older son’s hair grow out for a long time before I buzz it again.

  • marcsgen says:

    I kind of feel the same way about buzz cuts on boys. In fact, “little bulldogs” puts into words beautifully why I was so reluctant to cut my boy’s hair. We finally did it, not to make him look like a boy (I /loved/ his shaggy curls), but just out of sheer necessity – this kid hates having his hair brushed so much, that we were having daily battles over it.

    I’m hoping I can let him grow it out again when he’s a little bit older.

  • zeldazonk says:

    OMG XAN LOOKS ADORABLE!! I hate buzzed heads on boys, too, but he just looks so sweet!

  • duchess_k says:

    What a little man!

    I too hate the buzz cuts but as my 3 year old is finally growing enough hair to perhaps warrant a haircut, I’m having a really hard time picturing him sitting still for a scissor cut. I don’t *want* a buzz cut but I’m having a hard time picturing how else it could possibly go down.

  • tobeborn says:

    I love his hair! You did a good job! I used to feel the same way, about boy short hair cuts, and then my 4 year old asked for a buzz cut. I distracted him for a while, and then it became clear he was serious, he really wanted to wear his hair that way. Well, he really wanted it shaved bald, but I talked him out of that one πŸ™‚ It’s grown on me, though it was hard at first. But it will always grow back, and it’s his to experiment with πŸ™‚

  • It was my friend Sonya that put together that Doula video – did you recognize my tattoo in there? LOL πŸ™‚

    Xan’s hair do is adorable, I must say. And you did a great job making it look more intentional than accidental.

    I’m going to look for a pair of those boxers and give them as a gag gift – those are hilarious!

    I can’t wait to see the belly cast(s) when you’re done with them. 37 weeks already!? Wowza.

  • sorry! wasn’t logged in

    I never knew much about Canadian politics till this election (and most of what I now know comes from wikipedia) but it seems much simpler up there–you just vote for whoever is in your district that is the party that you want running the government…they tend to just vote party lines, right? Here you cast your vote for your person for the house of representatives and your person for the senate…likely between a single democrat and a single republican because those are the parties with the money to win elections (if campaign reform ever passes this may change) but possibly with an independent or two or some random party. But for president it isn’t based on popular vote and you are actually voting for a group of electoral college members from your state to go and vote for the president (so the presidential candidate with the most votes in the popular election hasn’t always won)

    • gen_here says:

      Re: sorry! wasn’t logged in

      Exactly! And the EC could have the entire populous they represent vote for candidate A, but if they think candidate B would be better, they can vote for B. So really, our Presidential vote is a suggestion that they aren’t required to follow in the least.

  • lindis says:

    I must say he looks cute in his new hairdo too! It looks like you did the best you could from what was left. My daughter cut her own fringe at kindergarten when she was 3. The day before the annual photo shoot of the kids. The results were not as great as Xan’s do, she probably had the shortest fringe in the whole town (complete with a cut) at that time.

    I cannot understand why some people say the stuff like they do (thinking about your disability). It is like they lack all kinds of empathy.

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