First off: those invasion-of-privacy ticky boxes on LJ’s comment leaving things now… do you really want people to be cross-posting their replies to your entries (even friends locked ones, apparently) onto others’ Facebooks?

I got this from jenrose
1. Be using Firefox.
2. Go here and install this addon: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/748/
3. Go here and install this script: http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/85105

Voila. Fixed. Takes about 25 seconds.

However, this does not address the underlying grotesque privacy violation that is allowing people to crosspost their replies to locked posts to Facebook. But it does make the blood pressure stay down while you’re replying to other people’s stuff.

Feel free to promote.


Speaking of jenrose, I had a session with her daughter, and daughter’s best friend some time ago and it was FREAKING AWESOME. They drove all the way from Oregon for this session.
Trufax: these teens are some of the most awesome teens who ever lived, and I love this session with my heart and soul. It was like steampunk Alice in Wonderland. They were all Dr. Who fans and we did nothing but jump around and talk about sci-fi nerddom for three hours. And lo, it was awesomesauce. I need more clients like this.



Aine

Kailea

Boomsauce.

My beautiful kids. I haven’t taken many photos of them in the last month, at least not with the “big camera”. I’ve been so overwhelmed with life crap that I just… don’t feel inspired to bring it out. The other day we sat on the bed taking photos for a little while.

Tempest is too cool for school.

I have given up on getting normal photos of Xan anymore. He is a little stand up comedian. I mean, I’ve met lots of funny kids, but he is like a mini Robin Williams. He is ALWAYS FUCKING ON. And while lots of people say he’s hilarious and must be a gas to be around… it sure can get trying. He never stops. He even does it in his sleep. Last night he curled into bed with us after waking up in tears over being hungry at 3:30am (he just had a tummy ache, he wasn’t truly hungry) and as he fell asleep in Curtis’ arms he ended up laughing until he couldn’t breathe for almost 45 minutes. I couldn’t get to bed because he would not stop laughing in his sleep. I had to put earplugs in. This happens all the damn time now. It’s insane.

Biking girl has mastered the bike in record time.

And a new set of self-portraits. Hurrah. One of my recent projects was a DIY beauty dish made of a plastic plant pot and a CD spindle. It works incredibly well considering the rig cost me less than $15. This works for an SB800 (Nikon) but could also work with a Vivitar 285. I haven’t used the Canon lighting system, so I can’t tell you if it would work as well with it, but given that it’s just a gutter piece that makes it “for” one system or another I’m sure it’s easily modifiable to fit whatever off camera system you use.
The instructions are [ here ] . Though I must give one warning: if you’re a chronic procrastinator like I am, this may take you months.

Last night I set it up to take some self portraits as tests. These were all taken with the SB800 in the beauty dish at around 1/32 + 2/3 (manual), triggered by PW II’s. Dish was at camera left, no more than 12 inches from my face and straight on. Shot at F/4.5 1/80 with my 17-55/2.8 lens. I can’t remember the ISO but looking at these I’m going to say no more than 400.

This one got cut off but I actually kind of like it.

Links of the Day:
Day one in Hinche – A midwife’s diary of her first night spent in a Haitian hospital, delivering babies and trying to make a difference. This is an incredibly intense and potentially triggering read… but it is important. When I read through this woman’s experience I noticed there were no comments anywhere: not many are reading. This is something that needs to be seen.
Cartoon: street harassment – Something that every woman understands, but men almost never do. That last panel sums it up nicely. I can’t count how many times I’ve been approached by random men, usually older men, and been asked to “smile”. That’s a subtle one, but just as offensive… and the problem with it is that men (and many women) don’t seem to understand what that request really means.
Seriously amazing insect and reptile macros – Most are by the same photographer. This is one incredible and beautiful collection of images. Hat tip to breakableheart
Dancers in Motion – Photographer captures ribbons of movement through long-exposure shots of dancers performing. Truly stunning.

Comments

comments

76 Comments

  • bluealoe says:

    The photo of the girl in the tree, reading a book…so so so beautiful. It’s like a fairyland. And the ones of her in the water, plying the violin, are stunning. I love that she’s barefoot. And, er, how did she not drop the violin in the water?!

    Your kids are awesome. You can see SO much of their personalities in those photos.

    And you…the self portraits are drop-dead gorgeous. Not in a convention glamor way, but in a “I’ve lived life, I’ve had experiences, and I’m still smiling” way.

    The story about Haiti was intense, but SO important. I agree, this needs to be read.

    Street harassment: Did I ever tell you about the guy who asked me for sex, in very poor English? In broad daylight, with tons of people around, as I’m heading to work dressed in a business suit. W. T. F.

    Related issue: The tons of people who feel like as a foreigner, I’m obligated to stop and chat with them as I walk down the street. 95% of the time, it’s men trying to talk to women. Ugh.

    • admin says:

      Aw, thank you Blue. πŸ™‚

      As a foreigner you’re obligated to stop and chat? What?!

      • bluealoe says:

        As a foreigner you’re obligated to stop and chat? What?!

        They think so, anyway. It’s like they believe the sole purpose of you being in Japan is to stand on a street corner and talk to people who want to practice their English. And I know that foreigners are rare in Japan, and a chance to speak English with a native speaker is exciting. I don’t mind it when people say “Hello” or “How are you?” to me in passing, it’s actually rather cute. But the people who follow me for several blocks, trying to convince me to go with them to a coffee shop, or to give them my phone number…I don’t get that. I really don’t.

        A couple weeks ago, I had a guy approach me as I was walking home, ask if I was busy, and when I said yes, he asked if he could talk to me. I repeated that I was busy, and he asked if he could call me. Ummmm….no?

  • Anonymous says:

    That picture of Jenrose and her daughter is really beautiful.

  • Anonymous says:

    That picture of Jenrose and her daughter is really beautiful.

  • wifeybuddy says:

    Re: street harassment

    I love when I see people talking about this topic because it so fucking ignored and seen as just a part of life. My husband and I had a discussion about this a month or two ago when I came across this game (online based) where basically, you’re a female in the game and all these guys come up and harass you and you can shoot them. It’s marketed for women to be able to take their frustration from having that happen in real life out on the cartoon dudes.

    Anyways, he didn’t really get how awful it can be until I told him about the time when I was 14/15 and this man grabbed me outside of a bathroom, and thrust my hips against his because he had an erection and I guess he wanted me to know. It was gross, and just one of many many many instances of harassment I’ve experienced.

    Problem is, does it matter if it’s physical harassment vs. verbal? It’s all degrading. It’s a shame what things have to escalate to for it to be considered a big deal. It’s an even bigger shame that many times women cannot be out and about (especially alone) comfortably because of such things. I wish it was taken more seriously.

  • wifeybuddy says:

    Re: street harassment

    I love when I see people talking about this topic because it so fucking ignored and seen as just a part of life. My husband and I had a discussion about this a month or two ago when I came across this game (online based) where basically, you’re a female in the game and all these guys come up and harass you and you can shoot them. It’s marketed for women to be able to take their frustration from having that happen in real life out on the cartoon dudes.

    Anyways, he didn’t really get how awful it can be until I told him about the time when I was 14/15 and this man grabbed me outside of a bathroom, and thrust my hips against his because he had an erection and I guess he wanted me to know. It was gross, and just one of many many many instances of harassment I’ve experienced.

    Problem is, does it matter if it’s physical harassment vs. verbal? It’s all degrading. It’s a shame what things have to escalate to for it to be considered a big deal. It’s an even bigger shame that many times women cannot be out and about (especially alone) comfortably because of such things. I wish it was taken more seriously.

  • keilababe says:

    I love the last pic of you. It says “I’m a wife (ring), I’m a mom (I think I can see your scar on your boob), I’m a person, and I’m sexy.”

  • keilababe says:

    I love the last pic of you. It says “I’m a wife (ring), I’m a mom (I think I can see your scar on your boob), I’m a person, and I’m sexy.”

  • gardenmama says:

    1. I never really got it when people say that Tempest looks like you. But in the picture with the sunglasses, she looks just like you!

    2. Self-portraits are so hard to do! I never feel like I can smile naturally when I’m taking my own picture.

    3. Damn, you have nice boobs!

    4. I really wish I could afford to fly out there again and have you take pictures of my kids. Nick looked at the canvas we have up on the wall the other day (with Scott standing on the bridge) and said “I went to that bridge.” I said “Yes you did, but you wouldn’t pose with your brother for Heather to take your picture, so you aren’t in that picture.” Lol. He really looks nothing like the pictures you took a year and a half ago, but I’m spoiled with how awesome the quality is that I don’t want anyone else to do their portraits!!!

    5. Why in the world would someone want to repost a threaded comment to facebook or twitter? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard πŸ˜›

  • gardenmama says:

    1. I never really got it when people say that Tempest looks like you. But in the picture with the sunglasses, she looks just like you!

    2. Self-portraits are so hard to do! I never feel like I can smile naturally when I’m taking my own picture.

    3. Damn, you have nice boobs!

    4. I really wish I could afford to fly out there again and have you take pictures of my kids. Nick looked at the canvas we have up on the wall the other day (with Scott standing on the bridge) and said “I went to that bridge.” I said “Yes you did, but you wouldn’t pose with your brother for Heather to take your picture, so you aren’t in that picture.” Lol. He really looks nothing like the pictures you took a year and a half ago, but I’m spoiled with how awesome the quality is that I don’t want anyone else to do their portraits!!!

    5. Why in the world would someone want to repost a threaded comment to facebook or twitter? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard πŸ˜›

  • admin says:

    “Women of color are just as much a victim and maybe a little more since they tend to be forgotten in feminism.”
    Truth.

  • admin says:

    “Women of color are just as much a victim and maybe a little more since they tend to be forgotten in feminism.”
    Truth.

  • vlogbrothers

    I love that she’s reading paper town in the photo.. Yay John Green!

  • admin says:

    I didn’t even consider that (which is unsurprising, I’m still learning how to see the things that decades of privilege have taught me not to look at), but looking at it now I can totally see.

  • admin says:

    Yes, this. In my personal experience, I actually don’t think I’ve ever been harassed by a man of colour, and if I have been it wasn’t memorable enough to overshadow the assholery of older white men… who have been, by far, the worst.

  • noelove says:

    fuck heather. the first picture of you is like mind blowing. Its like your face captures Tempest’s storm, Jerico’s death, and Xan’s healing.

    Seriously dude. that picture tells such a story. its beautiful, painful, thoughtful, honest. I can’t put enough words into it.

  • That photos shoot is so brilliant I don’t even know how to convey my feelings about it quite yet.

  • That comic was spot-on. I used to get downright harassed when I was in college. Couldn’t even walk to class without some pathetic man whistling at me, or making lewd comments about my chest.

    On a related note: when I was in high school, I was a supermarket cashier. One time, I had two customers in line. The first was a lady who was obviously not in the best mood. So I just politely said hello, then quietly went on with my job. As I was checking her groceries, the next customer in line, a man, started giving her the “smile, baby,” treatment. He told her to smile, and she just glanced at him, then turned back to me without saying anything. But he wouldn’t leave her alone, and kept saying, “Come on, smile! Smile, it’s not so bad!” She finally turned to him and said, “Actually, it IS pretty bad. I’ve just come from my three year old daughter’s funeral.”

    I’m pretty sure she wasn’t just saying that. She was wearing a black dress, and anyone with half a brain could tell she was upset from her demeanor, even before she said anything. I felt awful for the lady, but at the same time was glad she called the creep out.

    After she left, the man had the nerve to say to me, “Oh, I bet she was just saying that… what’s she doing going grocery shopping after her kid’s funeral, anyway?” (Again, why the hell should he presume to know ANYTHING about a random person’s life?) I’m sure he felt like the total douche that he was, and was trying to make himself feel better. Hopefully, he never told anyone to smile again.

    Beautiful pics, as always! Tempest looks just like you.

  • medland says:

    That green is a really good colour on you.

  • twirlgrrl says:

    The midwife in Haiti is MY midwife! Actually I didn’t end up having a homebirth, but she came to the hospital as my doula and was the one responsible for actually getting my baby to finally pop under my pelvic bone after 5 hrs of pushing. I knew she had just left for Haiti so I clicked on your link right away, and it’s Maria! Thanks for linking!!

  • singhappy02 says:

    You couldn’t deny Tempest is your child even if you wanted to. Especially compared to those middle three pictures of you!

    PS, totally a belated (and random) thank-you, but I went back and used your workflow…tutorial (? I dunno if that’s the right word to use here…) for editing my first ever attempt at headshots. It made things so much easier on that end…even if I was a nervous wreck during the shoot!

  • _evalution says:

    oh, and re: the twitter/facebook crossposting crap, this is what i did that worked to remove the feature from my comments page:

    “To get rid of the twitter/facebook repost links in your journal entry comments do the following:

    1. Go to your “Journal” menu, and select “Journal Style”
    2. To the right, you’ll see what theme you’re using, with a link stating “Customize Your Theme”. Click that link.
    3. Scroll down a little ways, and you’ll see that on the left side of your screen, you have multiple options to modify your theme. Click on the “Custom CSS” link, and it should load the options for doing Custom CSS.
    4. From here, all you have to do is go to the “Custom Stylesheet”, and put in that line.

    .b-repost-item {display:none}

    Once that’s in there, you want to save the changes, and you should be done. Leave everything else as it is (unless you want to remove more things!).”

  • _evalution says:

    oh, fantastic pictures!!! the last one of her with the violin, reflected in the water? breathtaking! and just all of them are so wonderfully amazing!!! i love that first one of you best, i think. that green is a great color on you.

  • Anonymous says:

    What program did you use to edit the water pictures? They’re awesome! Did you have to use extra lighting?

  • eliza261 says:

    I love the last photo of Xan.. so cute! i also love the one of the girl in the tree reading a book, that is awesome!

  • I understand street harassment, but honestly don’t really relate. I don’t think I have ever had any of those comments directed toward me. I can count the number of unwanted advances toward me in the dozen years since I hit puberty on one hand…

    • admin says:

      If you have breasts over a C cup it doesn’t matter what the rest of you looks like, that’ll do it. Sometimes it’s not as simple as unwanted advances… it can be cat calls, lecherous looks, being cornered or rubbed on.

      • The only time my breasts are a C cup is postpartum engorgement :-p so I’m not out and about much then, and generally covered in baby.

        I would consider all of those you listed as unwanted advances…any overture that a guy makes that wasn’t specifically initiated by you. I think I’m pretty, though tall and flat and don’t wear makeup or dress fashionably….but I don’t really want anyone except my husband thinking that I’m ‘hot’ and blessedly my life has pretty much lined up that way. I don’t mind at all not being made aware of men’s potential objectification of me. I’m not naive enough to think that no one every thinks of me that way, but they make themselves known infrequently enough that I can live my day to day life in semi-ignorant bliss.

        In the last year:
        …I had a teenage boy in a truck with a loudspeaker ask my husband (who was driving the car, I was in the backseat sitting next to the infant in the carseat) how old his daughter was. I was embarrassed for the kid as much as I was for myself.
        …I went to the dollar theater with my SIL and she had to pee after the movie. 40+ year old man tried to chat me up in the lobby. Moved away when I said something like “yeah, that’s why I came with my sister in law instead of my husband…” That left me feeling pretty creeped out.

        …and that’s about it for awkward encounters with males in the last year or so.

        • admin says:

          That may be the case, but your experience does not reflect all women, or even a majority… most do not like being told they need to be prettier (“Smile, baby!”) to random strangers on the street. Since, as women, apparently our sole duty is to appear pretty for men.

          Ref:
          1: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/03/29/sexist-comments-of-the-week-smile-baby-edition/
          2: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/03/30/dear-abby-takes-on-the-smile-baby-guy/
          3: http://theonlinecitizen.com/2010/08/smile-youre-a-woman/

          • I understand that it happens to many women, very frequently. I understand how uncomfortable lots of things guys can do make women feel. I don’t think that any of them are ok. I was just qualifying that in my case ‘every woman understands’ means I do believe I understand how it could potentially be, but without any real firsthand experience. It seems like those who have to deal with it all the time think that everyone has to deal with it all the time. The fact that not everyone does doesn’t really change anything for those who do…it’s just a different perspective…broadening all of our understanding of what it means to be a woman.

            I’m wondering if maybe our different experiences have us talking past each other. I would not like to be told “Smile, Baby!”…but I have also never been told that. When I say I don’t get many unwanted advances it’s not that I like the attention I get, I just don’t garner much attention from males, period. (If I look a guy in the eyes and smile and he smiles back at me, that’s pretty much the extent of the ‘attention’ or ‘not-unwelcome advances’ from guys that I’ve gotten in years–excluding my husband) Perhaps if I was built differently nothing I could do would stop it, but I’m built how I’m built and I live how I live and I think that the life I experience is a valid experience of ‘womanhood’. It might not be the universal experience of womanhood, but my living it causes it to be one facet of womanhood.

            • admin says:

              I totally misunderstood your first comment, I thought you were trying to dismiss it as, “not a big deal” due to your own experiences, and I realize now that I COMPLETELY MISREAD IT. So, sorry about that. πŸ™‚

              • I’m glad I was able to more fully explain it in a way that made sense. Going back to read my first quick comment I can see how it could be read the other way.

                I didn’t even realize it could be taken incorrectly till your response seemed to say “How can you say that? Of course it’s real and a big deal!” and my brain jumped to defense with “Whoah! Where did that come from? I was just saying that I can understand it without having experienced it firsthand. Being a woman is deeper than suffering unwanted advances” (one of those ‘real women have curves’ fights). Being in the minority I tend to want to put my experiences out there to validate them.

                • admin says:

                  Yeah don’t worry, I totally get it. And that’s totally what I was doing back to you, because I was like… O_O;

                  Dude I am so frazzled these last few days I’m shocked that I can get through a sentence.

            • admin says:

              PS. My personal experience is not exactly teeming with street harassment, as this area tends not to have a lot as a whole… but when I have gotten it, it hasn’t been cat calls (which I personally don’t mind nearly as much) but rather an influx of that, “smile baby” stuff. Men have walked RIGHT UP TO ME to walk along side me to convince me I need to be prettier for them. Which feels gross no matter what way you try to take it. :-/ I cannot stand that whole “smile” shit. Ugh.

        • Ooh! Remembered one more, though it was about 15 months ago…my one clubbing experience, at one point in the 4ish hours we were there I was dancing with my sister and sister in law and some random guy came and danced behind me. When I noticed I went and grabbed my husband and made him dance behind me as a rearguard ;). I remember telling my SIL that I was 1/16th flattered by Mr. Random Dancer and 15/16ths skeeved out (even though I know that’s generally part of the whole clubbing experience).

          • admin says:

            When I danced at Studio 54 in Vegas it was fucking impossible to get those guys off you. I mean, at first it was kind of funny and I was laughing, but after a while it was like… okay, can I have five seconds to myself, please? It was SO CROWDED in there that I couldn’t even turn my head to see who was on my ass. They didn’t even know what I looked like, just that I was probably female.

      • _evalution says:

        i think sometimes it depends on where you live/how you commute or get around town. here, in oregon, i get minimal to no cat calls. however the entire time i lived in new york–every single day for my entire life there. every day. i learned to ignore it completely, and my life was so much better once i got an iPod. couldn’t hear it, couldn’t affect me.

    • alexparte says:

      I think it can be highly location-dependent, as well. A friend of mine from TN had never been so much as hit on in her entire life until she moved to New York, and then it was constant street harassment.

      • I wonder if a lot of it is cultural too…I remember (7 years ago) in my Race/Class/Gender class in college reading “The Line of the Sun” and talking about machismo and how the actions that were safe and sanctioned in Puerto Rico ended up so different in New York City….and then when it’s common other guys think it’s ok…

        I think it’s so uncommon to be out on the streets in suburban middle America (I’ve gotten this in both Ohio and Oklahoma) that most of the comments I get out of car windows if I happen to be walking are people asking if my car broke down and would I like to borrow their cell phone or want a ride.

  • jesamin says:

    The photos of the two girls are AMAZING. Each one is better than the last and the first is out of this world so. Yeah. I love them all.

    And you? Are gorgeous. Damn woman.

    And lastly, can we talk about NILMDTS? My local chapter needs more people desperately and I want to do it but I’m scared. I know I’ll be a wreck but what worries me is what if the pictures are awful? It’s more pressure than weddings and I swore those off a long time ago.

    • admin says:

      Honestly, you could not take a bad picture if your life depended on it. That part I am not worried in the least.
      As for the rest: it’s hard. I’m not going to lie. You will cry. You will cry more than once, and that’s okay. Honestly? The parents want you to cry. They want you to look like you’re sad, like you’re moved, like you’re a human being who sympathizes with them… whatever else the manual might say: be yourself.

  • azdesertrose says:

    Love the pictures!

    And yes, living with a comedian child can get wearing. My daughter is the sarcastic sort, and from around age 10 (when she figured out sarcasm) until about age 13 (when she finally learned the discretion of when to use it and when to keep her trap shut), it was one thing after another with her. Now, at 18 (well, she will be next Wednesday, anyway), she’s mastered the art of when to be a wiseass and when to be serious, but she can totally break up a room with some of her comments.

    Point being, even the comedians learn to turn it off, eventually. πŸ™‚

  • ayanamisama says:

    Those photos on the water are STUNNING. I love them. I’m hoping to get more into doing portraits for musicians. πŸ™‚

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