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I was totally ready to think about this actually being “it”. As I was laying on the couch I got an hour straight of INTENSE contractions three minutes apart. They made me so uncomfortable I was writhing. They were really quite painful, centered in my cervix (which is really weird) and my lower back (which is normal for posterior – I have yet to have an anterior labour).
They were seriously hurting. I started having this huge panic attack. I kept trying to do deep breathing, and I have no idea what I was so anxious about but I really started to freak, and then I got up to go to the bathroom and… they spread to ten minutes apart. Nice. At least baby is firmly head down again. Head is less mobile, too.

Part of me says, “You totally did this to yourself” with all the adrenaline. Adrenaline screws up oxytocin. I cried in the car the other day to Curtis, “I am so fucking high strung” – which is kind of funny and ironic in retrospect, but I was really serious at the time. I. Need. To. Learn. To. Relax. RELAX.
Now I have heartburn, and mild, sporadic contractions 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 13 minutes, then they’ll stop for the night – hooray! JUST LIKE ALWAYS. Which, of course, means the bam-bam-bam ones weren’t actually anything in particular. Maybe I’m just channeling Kathryn. My former UC buddy who found out she was pregnant with triplets, whose water broke earlier today. She’s 36.5 weeks now (WITH TRIPLETS!), and able to have her beautiful babies at home. I’m so excited for her I can barely stand it.



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