ARgh and a half

Two days now my breast has been hurting, same one with all the past problems. I slept on my stomach one night and thought I’d bruised it, but it didn’t get any better. I started taking the Tylenol/IBprofun combo, and using hot compresses and massage just in case.

Last night I woke up feeling horrible. I got out of bed and took my temperature. It was over 100. Fuck. Twice in a month. What the hell am I doing wrong? I don’t wear tight clothes, I always drain that breast completely (The supply is a bit down from the surgery, so I even pump it twice a day, or when she fails to get it completely drained), I use compression, she has a good latch, so why is this happening? After I realized I was getting mastitis again I came back to bed and cried. I feel awful. Not as awful as the last time, just more hopeless.

This will get better. It has to get better, because it can’t get much worse. I’m starting to have fantasies about having that one breast removed completely, and just going from there. Maybe then I’ll enjoy nursing better.

I’ve been trying for a week or two to get a photo of her smiling. She’ll grin and giggle and coo when the camera is gone, but as soon as you bring it out she’s all frowns. But I finally managed to capture one. Voila!

And a bonus photo of her just hanging out.

~:) Babs



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