Tempest came up behind me and hugged my neck saying what sounded exactly like, “You’re a bitch.”

I know that’s not what she said, because as much as I use the word ‘fuck’ I almost never say ‘bitch’ around her.
I asked her to repeat herself. “You’re a bitch,” she said, as if I should know.
I looked at Curtis, he heard the same thing. “One more time?”
“YOU ARE [the] BESSSSHT”. She sounded it out very slowly for me.
“The best?” Curtis tried.
“Yes!” she said.

It’s one of those moments where I was really tempted to ask, “Did you just say bitch?” But then she’d say ‘yes’ and start saying that instead. Like when she was two and on the ferry, sitting next to a childless couple and pointing out the window saying, “Ocean! Ocean!”. In toddleresque it sounds a little like “oh shit”. The couple giggled and repeated that back to her: “Oh shit? Oh shit? Tee hee! Oh shit!”. Way to teach my kid to swear.
When she says “sit” it sounds a lot like “shit”, too.

Xan was crying/screaming for over two hours straight. I couldn’t get him to stop. I hate teething. Please someone kill me, or at least give me earplugs that can block 120 decibels. I eventually handed him to Curtis, at which point he projectile vomited three times in a row and was happy for twenty minutes. In the daze I’d come into the only thing I could think was, “well fuck, there goes the Hylands”.
Earlier I was making him laugh hysterically by flipping his legs up to his shoulders. Not 30 minutes later he started screaming and then wouldn’t stop.

He actually slept alright, though I’m not entirely sure why (by alright I mean he only woke up 4-5 times and didn’t screech until about 9am).

Project 365 for February 22nd:
Ziyal has started spending more quality time with us instead of my mom. She slept next to Xan when he was passed out on the couch last night.

I love baby lips.




  • aisling78 says:

    Oh…baby lips! I just sponatinously ovulated again!

    I love the “Tempest-isms!” Only a child could say (or seem to say) something like “you’re a bitch” to express that you’re the best!

  • I know you didn’t want comments but I have to know…Lily from c-birth? The lil girl that went into the hospital a lil bit ago? *anxious* Stupid yahoo has screwed up my account so badly I cannot log in and I get bounced a lot so I often don’t hear things until waaaay late. I’ve been thinking about her…

  • carlos2112 says:

    After some friends of mine had their first baby, they instituted a rule in their house that guests owed a quarter for every curse word they said; which made a nice start for their daughter’s college fund.

  • sunkist33 says:

    Sweet baby lips! I love the little nursing blister : )
    Orange once, to my utmost horror, told my brother-in-law that he “looked like a big fag” (he had just come out of the bathroom in a towel)…I *knew* that couldn’t have been what it sounded like, so we asked her what she meant & we finally figured out that she was saying he looked like a FLAG and she just had trouble pronouncing the “L.”
    Sorry about the teething fits : ( Hope they pass soon.

  • thewhimmed says:

    my eight year old named her christmas parakeet “nook”. (“you know mom, nook, to rhyme with hook. but we’ll call him nooky”)all through christmas breakfast her and my son talked about how much they loved nooky. i didn’t want to spoil their joy..

  • the_wanlorn says:

    Hee! When my neighbor was 3, whenever she said “truck” it sounded like “fuck”.

  • dietcokehed says:

    Emily has plump lips too…her smooches are great πŸ™‚

  • I love his nursing callus. Oh! His cheeks, so soft and perfect!

    Last night hubby was carrying around babby naked and kept saying, “Soft as a baby’s bottom! Soft as a baby’s bottom!” while petting the dimply babby bottom squished up on his arm. *sigh* It’s the most wonderful thing in the world. My family. *tears up*

  • mommajm says:

    My five year old daughter, Abigayle said “Jesus, Mary and Jofess!” in frustration the other day while playing a computer game. She goes to a Catholic preschool, so I had to tell her it wasn’t appropriate, after I ran to the bathroom to keep from laughing out loud πŸ˜‰

  • I had to watch what I was saying once Alex fired off: “God damn it!” everytime he dropped something. Now I’m trying to get him to drop: “What the hell?” You’d think he’s been raised by sailors.

    But still not as bad as when I asked a family friend what a french tickler was. In the middle of a packed chinese restaurant that suddenly got very quiet afterwards. I had issues with volume when I was younger.

  • Have you tried the Amber teething necklaces? I’m not sure how I feel about them, but I’m thinking about buying one anyway.

  • zeldazonk says:

    Xan is edible.

    You’re lucky I could never babysit because I’d just eat him. That’s all. πŸ˜›

  • iluvrob20 says:

    damn damn triple damn was my mom’s curse world of choice when i was little and i picked it up apparently. one incident in particular i havent lived down was that i dropped something on the ground and said damn and of course mother overheard and said what did you say. i knew i was in deep shit and i replied. damp, damp its damp outside.

    it was july and like 80000 degrees.

  • sunlit_mists says:

    my son’s half brother, one Christmas kept asking for a franklin clock he had seen at walmart, only it kept coming out… ” I WANT a Fucking cock!” over and over, and it was soooooo hard not to laugh, or want to make him do it for company….(silly kid tricks?) Of course we didn’t really have to, as every adult he met would ask him, what do you want for Christmas? Was interesting on santa’s knee at the mall….. LOL

    He’s 11 now, and has never lived it down.

  • We always have to explain to guests when the 1 1/2 year old asks for her fork. I’ll let you guess.

    My best friend’s mom used to ask her when company was around “Becky, what does a duck say?” Because Becky thought a duck said “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”


  • mamygirl says:

    It goes the other way though, too. My in-laws (my ultra conservative, Momonesque in laws) were over visiting right after I had my baby a couple months ago and Ayla (my daughter that is tempest’s age) got frustrated and said “Oh shit!”. (Fabulous, way to point out what a world class mom I am.. Thanks darling)

    Fortunately, they thought she said she wanted my FIL to “sit” by her, so of course I went along with that. They’d likely be tempted to call CPS on me, and being in Happy Valley, you never know what CPS might have done. =P

  • miss_boots says:

    aww, he’s so cute. look at all those rolls.

    ugh, teething. my son is cutting a molar and he’s about to cut one of his canines.
    the screaming is driving me crazy.
    i feel for you! haha

  • altarflame says:

    Oh my. Those are really premium baby lips.

    I guess I’m…lucky? Doomed this next time? Who knows. Because I’ve never had teething effect any of my kids NEARLY like what I hear other moms complain about. Ananda’s only signs of teething were that she would wake up once or twice in the middle of the night every night and cry until I patted her back to sleep (which never happened otherwise…) I honestly remember NOTHING of Aaron teething whatsoever, just seeing teeth pop out. And Isaac and Jake both got fussier than usual, drooled buckets and woke about twice as much as usual at night – Isaac would even refuse the breast and make me pace half the night away sometimes. But I’ve never had a baby just scream and scream and not been able to soothe them for more than a minute or two. I always think of the having to pace around and do the baby bop as worst case scenario 😑

  • eiretamicha says:

    I love baby lips, too! So cute!! πŸ™‚

  • just_shoe_me says:

    My little sister used to say certain words that sounded like swears, or other “inappropriate” words. I admit, often times I would ask her to repeat it. Again and again. And then I’d laugh. πŸ™‚

    Xan is such a sweetheart. I love his lil nose.

  • I used to grab my nieces’ and nephews’ lips when they were babies and kinda wiggle them since they were so plump. I’ve been tempted to bite them but I assumed that pissing them off would make them not let me grab their lips. :p

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