I’ve reached my breaking point

My skin, that is.

43cms, 44 inches around; two children, one who went overdue. I thought I was huge then but I’ve way surpassed my biggest point with her – and I still have weeks to go!
I now have stretch marks on my stomach. Alas.
I feel vain and pathetic because my heart actually sank a little when I saw them in the hand mirror and realized Curtis wasn’t joking when he said I had six or more on the bottom of my stomach where I can’t see. He was just palpating my stomach two days ago and didn’t notice any, so they all popped up at once either yesterday or today. The ones on my hips, which never bugged me, have broken open and started bleeding and peeling.

If this baby isn’t 10lbs or more I’m going to feel very cheated.

Baby is definitely lower, still doesn’t quite feel engaged though. I can see (and surely feel) the crease over my hip from my belly being so low and heavy.

Despite the fact that I appear to be smaller from the last progression pic, I’m actually measuring bigger. I think I’ve just changed shape.

For the record: I’m spending way less time online now, under orders, because of my back spasms and now a pelvic injury (anyone remember about midway through my pregnancy with Tempest? Yeah, like that). I’m trying to hold onto the hope that by some miracle I’ll actually not be wracked with spasms when I go into labour.

Comments

comments

Categories: Uncategorized

75 Comments

  • I feel have felt your pain. By the time 41 weeks, 6 days rolled around, I was 48 inches around. I’m less than 62 inches tall, ya know. My son was only 7 lbs, 13 ounces though. I felt cheated of my mega-baby.

    I think I’m finally going to add you. I’ve been reading your journal since before Jericho (I found you through a conversation or two ), and finally was able to go back and read all of your entries. I can’t wait to read your birth story. You’ve been a fantastic influence on me as a mother, by the way. I never would have thought I’d be the cloth diapering, co-sleeping type, but here I am.

  • tellinellen says:

    your belly is so gorgeous. i love it.

  • nznats says:

    I think you look gorgeous. Ill keep my bits crossed for you to have no spasms πŸ™‚

  • Just lurking and wanted to tell you that I think you look fantastic. I would not be surprised if you had two in there :p

  • I always love you belly shot posts. I started my first pregnancy at 5’7″, 118 lbs with a 28 inch waist. I gained far too much weight and delivered (at 38 weeks) with a 54 inch waist. It was truly insane. I hope you don’t get that big. I literally look like I survived a shark attack.

  • miz_kitty says:

    Oh you have the cutest belly.

    I’m sending you lots of good energy for this baby and delivery.

  • Anonymous says:

    Oh wow, you look great though. I think the big belly is gorgeous. I’m due mid to late October and I look something like your July 3rd shot. People give me a really hard time about it as if I’m not taking care of the baby. Bah!

    I hope the spasms get better, it sounds miserable. Surely labor will be soon.

    Emily

  • oopidsnot says:

    Oh, stretch marks. I remember the first one I got was at your place, and I was actually happy about it! πŸ™‚ Then more came. The first 3 or 4 shorts ones didn’t bother me. At about 6, when they started to get longer, I thought that would be enough and I didn’t want any more. But they kept coming . . .

    I’ve forgotten what my belly used to look like without stretch marks. *sighs*

    With all your physical ailments, do you think you’d be able to hit the Fall Fair this coming weekend? I have a scale you could jump on if you’re really curious about your weight πŸ™‚ Wouldn’t it be funny if you’ve only gained 20 pounds?

    *hugs your belly*
    *hugs your hips*
    *hugs your back*
    *kisses your nose*
    πŸ™‚

  • florassecret says:

    Got any draem cream? Or aloe vera, that will help heal your stretch marks.

    • admin says:

      I got both, actually.
      Yay for dream cream! I used to work for them. Nicest boss I’ve ever had, if you were stressed out at work you’d get to sit in the GIGANTIC crystal outside and they’d bring out a tuning fork to cleanse your aura. πŸ˜‰

      • florassecret says:

        oh good. I swear by Dream cream. I love it! LOL I got it before I had my first born for my very dry elbows. I love how it heals fast.
        OH and that job sounded fun, and very relaxing.

        • admin says:

          At first I was just doing clerical stuff. While the boss was really nice, she had terrible writing habits. She put a period after every. single. word. so it was IMPOSSIBLE to read her punctuation. I had to make it up. Good thing I was excellent at editing. πŸ˜›

          The best part was whenever she had a new tub of cream ready to go on the production line and she’d open it for the first time. Everyone would crowd around and get their faces in to smell it. Mmmm… sooooo good.
          One month she harvested fresh lavender and hung all the stalks up to dry inside the offices. The ceiling was PLASTERED in lavender for weeks. The place smelled amazing. I didn’t appreciate the environment there until I worked for Dumb&Dumber (before your reading time. It isn’t even posted in this journal). Holy god. I almost had a nervous breakdown working for them. I had to quit because I couldn’t take it anymore.

  • hibernate says:

    I really have no idea how big or small pregnant people are supposed to be. I had a friend who was pregnant a few years ago, and she had the tinyest belly (I don’t think she ever got bigger than your May 14th pic), and I used to compare others to that. But when I was visiting my mom some time ago and I saw some old photos of when she was pregnant with me, and she was at least your size, probably bigger. Yet I was not a big baby. This is probably a very stupid question, but what determines how big the mother gets?

    I’ve never even been pregnant, and I have tons of stretchmarks on my hips. Even though I have no hips. It’s a mystery. This is your third pregnancy, the fact that you haven’t had any before now is amazing!

    • admin says:

      A couple of things determine belly size: waist size (short women tend to get bigger than tall women, overall), number of babies, size of baby, fibroids or scar tissue in the uterus, amniotic fluid levels…
      Some women just carry very different. I generally carry all out in front. Everyone says, “You have no room!”. I know some women who carry so much inside that they barely show at all, even at the end of pregnancy!

  • Wow. The belly wow, not the Africa wow.

  • Hi, It’s Damien’s mum again. Really sorry to leave another message on your journal, I’ve been away for nearly all of August, and have a feeling a lot of my e-mails were deleted by my filter, so I was wondering if you could pass my info along to your friend again, who wants to take Damien’s picture. My e-mail is clare_croft32@hotmail.com thank you, sorry for the bother!

    p.s. I can relate to the stretch marks, although I had A LOT. They don’t look nearly as bad now, but I still resemble a road map. :S

    • admin says:

      It’s not a bother. πŸ™‚ I forwarded the information to her, but she’s been dealing with a lot of issues right now. Between evacuation notices for forest fires, housing issues and everything else, it’s hard to find some time to contact people.
      She is going to try and come into town shortly to see me, and maybe we can try and pull it together then. If she doesn’t drop you an email in a few days, let me know and I’ll drop you one instead. πŸ˜‰

      • absolutely, thank you so much for your help here! I can understand the housing issues, we’ve just moved and are all over the place! i’ll let you know if i hear from her in a few days, i hope you don’t mind me adding you, we seem to have a lot in common, πŸ™‚ pardon any typos – wiggly baby in my lap!

  • birthingway says:

    You look *beautiful*.

    And, I have some girly newborn fluff for you. Can you e-mail me at birthingway at shaw dot ca for logistics pls?

    I love love love your beautiful belleh!

  • jellho says:

    gah, i loved being that big and pregnant.

    you look great, but wow, that is a belly mama!

  • thinggtwoo says:

    I had stretch marks on my ANKLES. My husband said my feet looked like “little kid’s drawings of feet” – one BIG circle with a bunch of little ones on top.

    Your tummy looks RAWR – GORGEOUS!!! That kidlet is gonna come out with LUGGAGE, for Pete’s Sake!! πŸ˜‰

    BTW, did you….GET anything…in the mail….on Friday, around 11:59am? Anything? Box-like? Perhaps?

    • admin says:

      πŸ™‚

      I did. I just haven’t found the words to write about it yet. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything right away. We spread them all on the floor and looked at every square inch of both of them. Tempest wants to go to bed with them at night, but I’m afraid to get the quilt dirty because I think it’s done in sharpies and they’ll wash right out. I think I’m going to hang that one on the wall instead.

      • thinggtwoo says:

        YAAAAY!!! Listen, I’m checking with Sharon right now, but the Sharpies we used are all Permanent – washer-safe – so let her sleep with them!!!! That’s for COMFORT – for Huggins and snuggles. TANGIBLE COMFORT!!!!!! SLEEP with ’em – ROLL in ’em – SNUGGLE UNDER THEM, Most Importantly!!! πŸ™‚

        I understand that you need to find the words – I will let folks know you’ve gotten them, tho, as MANY, many people are waiting to hear that they arrived safely!! πŸ™‚

        HUGS!!

  • inawhile says:

    I got a ton of stretch marks, but I held out for SO LONG with a smooth belly, but he was TALL when he was born and he never got into a “fetal” position, he was alllll stretched out, so yeah. 8 lb boy, 20.5 inches, legs extended does not bode well for a 5’3 girl with a short waist.

    • admin says:

      I’m 5′ with a very, very, VERY short waist. Tempest was about that length too, but she was very skinny (6,14).

      • inawhile says:

        Wow, she was TALL! My really good friend is 6 foot tall, and she gave birth to a 20.5 inch boy on Saturday. She had plenty of room for him, though. You have tall babies! πŸ™‚

        • admin says:

          Yeah, she was tall! Just under 21′, but she was so skinny! She was swimming in newborn onesies because she had no real body fat for her length. Since then she’s always been in a really high percentile for height. I think she’s still in 75th or more. Plus, her feet are huge. It’s probably a myth, but I’ve always been told big feet lead to big heights. πŸ˜‰

          Curtis is 6’4″ so she definitely gets her height from him.

    • gardenmama says:

      I made it to about 32 weeks with no stretch marks, then broke out in red stripes all over my belly overnight πŸ™ I’m also 5’3″ and had an 8 lb 20.5 inch boy! πŸ™‚ Feet in the ribs toward the end was utter agony.

  • unconformed says:

    I got a few stretchmarks on my boobs from Julian, and Luka striped up my belly.
    That babe’ll be at least 9 lbs. Do you feel like you’ve got a lot of fluid? How’s she sitting?

    • admin says:

      Been head down for ages, but I can’t tell her position. I feel movement over my public bone, under my ribs and on both of my sides all at the same time so damned if I can figure out anything…

      • unconformed says:

        I couldn’t even tell if Luka was head down or breech.

        • admin says:

          I know she’s head down from the position of the hiccups, and because internally I can feel the very clearly round, hard, smoothness of a head. A butt feels different. This just feels like a big perfectly round rock against the bottom of my uterus. It’s pretty low and heavy, but I can still bounce it a teeny bit (not engaged). I can’t reach my cervix except to feel the edges. It’s pretty posterior, so all I know is that it’s really soft and stretchy.

          I felt her turn the other day, not head up to head down, but spinning around on her head like a breakdancer.

  • I’m excited for you, minus the stretch marks and pelvic issues.

  • Psssst. They’re not stretch marks, they’re TIGER STRIPES. πŸ˜‰

    • devilgrrl says:

      Yay! Someone else who says this about strech marks!

      My sister carried very, very similarly and my nephew ended up only being about 7lbs. She was vaguely disappointed because she expected him to be a moose, practically.

  • tau says:

    I think your belly does look bigger in the last pic – its just that the shirt you’re wearing is poofier than the shirt in the pic before.

  • Awww, Babs. You look good, though. Very glowy-y and healthy. Do those excersizes for pelvic separation!!! Dooo theeemmmm. They help.

  • eiretamicha says:

    “The ones on my hips, which never bugged me, have broken open and started bleeding and peeling.”

    Ouchies! That sounds so sore! *shivers* And back spasms and a pelvic injury? Goodness gracious! ::Big e-Hugs:: ♥

  • Stand back everyone, she’s gonna explode!!!

  • To quote my great-grandmother: Hoo-damn!

    I think your babe snuck a friend over for a playdate when you weren’t looking.

  • jesamin says:

    Do a heinie check. It’s all fun and games until you catch a glimpse of your backside in the mirror and see stretchmarks there as well. Charlie blessed me with stretchmarks where Beast didn’t and Beast now takes great pleasure in pointing them out and calling them boo boos. Thanks a ton girls, thanks a ton.

  • dreamalynn says:

    You still look beautiful, stretchmarky or no. Take it easy with those spasms, I’ll be keeping a good thought for you.

  • j_lew says:

    can you get Bio-oil where you are. its fab for scars, dry skin or strecth marks. in fact the only thing that I found ever worked.

  • I know how awful the feeling is when you discover the stretch marks! I’m around 35-ish weeks, and thought i’d escaped them. Yeah, right! I discovered them last week, and they’re all on display since they’re right where none of my shirts cover my belly anymore. Devastated (but felt soooo shallow lol) probably as it’s taking me back to my teens when i had loads of them due to very rapid weight gain, and i feel embarrassed no matter how much DP tells me they’re the mark of a mommy.

  • bazo0ka says:

    I was just looking at my pregnancy photos, and the belly-hanging-over-hips hit me on about32-34wks.. You look about that size, but even looking atmy own photos I cant imagine thepossibility of being THAT huge!!! Your tummy is gorgeous! I had stretch marks from my knees to my boobs – I so envy that you onlyjust now got a few!!!

    p.s. If you do have a litter are you willing to give a few up to a LJ friends? πŸ˜‰

    • admin says:

      I never got the belly-hanging-on-hips with Tempest or with Jericho, even though I carried him WAY low. This baby is just HEAVY.
      We haven’t owned a scale in over six months, so I have absolutely no idea how much weight I’ve gained with this baby. I’ve weighed myself twice in the last 9 months.

      “p.s. If you do have a litter are you willing to give a few up to a LJ friends?”
      I’m pretty sure science world would have dibs on them, but I could try.

  • maylea_moon says:

    your belly is so gorgeous i want to give it a HUG! (ok that sounds kinda creepy but i don’t mean it like that!)

    she’d better come out with some rolls! πŸ˜‰

    you know what’s crazy? i never got stretch marks on my belly, but i got them ALL OVER MY ASS. oh it was terrible. my nickname was “purple zebra butt” for over a year, haha. (they’re still there, just not purple anymore)

    • admin says:

      With Tempest I got some on my butt and the underside of my breasts. Shortly after birth they were completely invisible. They “Showed up” a little more during my pregnancy with Jericho, but nothing new.
      In this pregnancy I’ve broken out in more on my butt, across my hips (which have now stretched WAY too far) none on my breasts and now my first on my stomach. CRY. I made it so far. I almost had three kids with no visible (meaning: outside of underwear zones) marks.

  • miss_boots says:

    i’m just a lurker, but i just wanted to say you look fantastic! your belly is goregous. πŸ™‚

    do you mind if i add you?

    • admin says:

      No one needs my permission. πŸ™‚ The vast majority of my journal is public, so anyone can read and friend all they want.

      • miss_boots says:

        awesome, i just figured i’d be polite and ask.
        i wanted to introduce myself too, i didn’t wanna just start commenting and you be like ‘what the heck, who is this chick?!’ hahah
        i added you, my journal is friend’s only but you have acsess to it now if ya ever get bored. πŸ˜›

        oh, i meant to say that i remember how i felt about my stretchmarks when i was pregnant. i just had one for the longest time, then one day i woke up and my stomach was covered in them. i was in shock at the way my it looked, but now i absolutely love them!
        your definitely lucky you escaped them this long, though!
        anyway, thanks for letting me friend you. πŸ™‚

  • oh man, spasms are the WORST! i feel for you! your belly is big and beautiful, you’ve instilled the need to document in me, for my next baby.

    • admin says:

      Wow like, “You’re big and pregnant” or wow like, “I can’t believe you’re so concerned with some freaking stretch marks when there are people starving in Africa”…?

      • six58 says:

        haha. oh dear.
        i just meant “wow. you’re super pregnant.”

        every time you post pictures of your ever-growing belly im amazed. now there’s nothing left for me to say other than “wow”.

        (id be sad about stretch marks too. but you’re beautiful, so dont be too upset.)

        =)

  • delababy says:

    OK, and you are SURE there is only one baby in there, right?

  • macabre says:

    You look great. How far along are you?

    • admin says:

      Don’t know. I have a span of a few weeks that I’m “due” within (Ie. turn 40 weeks, not when the baby is necessarily going to come out), and it’s not arrived yet. πŸ˜›

      • You have a awesome cute belly i love it ..i cant wait till mine gets big …

        You dont know how far along you are…Do you not go to the drs? are you having like a home birth? i wanted a water birth …

        • admin says:

          I handle my own prenatal care. In my first pregnancy I had a very hands-off midwife who essentially taught me my own care, and I did self care in my second pregnancy and in this one.

          I knew how far along I was in the first two, but in this pregnancy I’m unsure of when conception took place. We were using condoms at the time and I did not know my fertility had returned, since it was just some weeks after Jericho died. I have a space of when I could have conceived, around 2-3 weeks worth, so I know I’m due in a certain ‘area’ of time.

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