Curtis called his mom last night and gave her the news. She was really happy. She blurted it back out, and Curtis heard his father repeat it in the background. Even he was happy, and that’s saying a lot since he’s been the one to be the most cynical all these times.
I think it has changed the way he expresses himself.
When Curtis told her honestly why we waited, she understood and respected that. We wanted to help her cheer up, and she did, but seemed sad that she’s so far away. They aren’t sure if they’ll be able to make it up in August. This is the only time I’ve ever wanted them to.

I’ve been alone most of the day. Curtis called around 1pm and said he wasn’t coming home until “at the latest” 9pm. It’s 10pm now and he’s still not back. I put Tempest to bed 20 minutes earlier than I usually do because I couldn’t stand her anymore. She was driving me absolutely nuts. We haven’t had a night of button pushing like that in months, but man…
My mom did manage to drop by, and that made me happy. I printed out my VBAC essay and let her read it, while she’s totally pro-VBAC already, I just wanted to share.

Just prior to Tempest going to bed I was watching some weird research thing about this cell defect that causes an immunity to the bubonic plague and HIV. I kept it on the same channel, and now they’re showing this ridiculous piece about this “poor woman” who had her water leak at 24 weeks. So of course they hospitalized her and then told her that her baby would get a deadly infection and is put at serious risk.
They kept her in the hospital, on her back, pumped full of crap for another few weeks before deciding her “baby needs to be delivered by c-section to live”. Still terribly premature. I had to look away when they pulled this tiny, silent baby from her womb. Barely able to move. While a surgeon prattled on about what a good thing they were doing, saving the child’s life and all. Neither mom or baby had any infection, nor was the baby’s heartrate out of control, nor was mom suffering… they were just sitting there.

Then I think to the woman that was in my last expecting club whose water broke at 28 weeks and her midwife discussed with her how amniotic fluid constantly replenishes, and the bag will reseal, and that the risks of infection are only an issue when something is introduced into the vaginal canal or bacteria from the vagina is pushed up into the cervix (during routine examinations).
So she went home on bedrest for a bit, stopped leaking, and went 42 weeks.
… and all those people from the UC communities who had premature rupture of membranes at a variety of weeks and followed this same plan. Plus garlic, echinacea, probiotics, vitamin C and zinc for caul strengthening, all that good stuff – they warded off infection and allowed their bag to reseal and went on to deliver normally.

I don’t doubt that if you’re kept in a hospital all this time, surrounded by germs, being touched and poked and prodded and checked by hands that you’d be at serious risk for infection.
I don’t know why I watch these things. They just make me sad.

Iron Chef is a much better choice.

My nausea has been controllable the last few days. I started forcing myself to drink more water, and while initially it made me feel a whole lot worse, now I’m finding that so long as I stay in the condition of “uber hydrated” it actually dampens the feelings overall.
That and saltines. Which I don’t think I’ve eaten since I was pregnant with Tempest.

Curtis finally came home at 10:30pm.
I’m tired, and I feel like crap because I think Curtis brought me home some germs. GERMS.
It was awfully sweet of him.

Comments

comments

Categories: Uncategorized

44 Comments

  • unconformed says:

    You mean Aurora the Explorer/Spark? That whole midwife thing was a charade. She was having a UP but didn’t want her IRL friends to know so she had 2 usernames and kept talking about a midwife with one, and didn’t mention the PROM with her other name (for the uc board) so people wouldn’t connect it- except for a post saying “I saw someone had an AROM in another forum, what would you do if that happened to you?” It was pretty funny.

    Inductions are so creepy.

    I’m glad Curtis’ parents are down.

  • kittyface says:

    What you say about the woman whose waters broke intrigues me, because it just happened to me (I just had my baby 4 weeks early). It’s a long story and I’m writing it now, I’d love you to read it and comment when I post it in my journal.

    • kittyface says:

      Thank you so much for your response. Everything you say rings true with me. The next part of the story (me basically camping on the floor of the SCBU/NICU demanding that he be discharged from hospital for four days, the doctors agreeing because of his excellent health but the nurses claiming I was experiencing puerperal euphoria until my own doctor intervened and got us released on the “sly”) is the really harrowing part, and the part it will be hardest for me to write. The actual labour made me feel strong, it is the part afterwards that hurts and that I need to overcome. Thank you for your support.

      • admin says:

        No problem. I’m glad you can find strength, and I know things will go well for you because of this. You’re willing to look at the whole thing objectively and keep on learning and growing, taking the good and the not-so-good. Even though it sucks to think about it that way at the time, in the long run you’ll feel much more pride and have a much easier time overcoming any hurt you have left. Good on you, and lots of hugs your way.

  • julierocket says:

    Then I think to the woman that was in my last expecting club whose water broke at 28 weeks and her midwife discussed with her how amniotic fluid constantly replenishes, and the bag will reseal, and that the risks of infection are only an issue when something is introduced into the vaginal canal or bacteria from the vagina is pushed up into the cervix (during routine examinations).

    That’s AMAZING. I had NO idea.

    You know, I have a whole section of my Favorites menu called “Future > Children” that’s pretty much full of stuff you’ve posted… I keep saving things like this in there… I don’t know WHAT I’d be thinking right now if you didn’t keep edumacating me.

    • admin says:

      Teehee. πŸ™‚
      When you get your own parasites started, start reading: It’s addicting.

      • julierocket says:

        When I get my own parasites started??? Are you kidding??? I read all this shit NOW.

        Do you want to see the grad school program I’m applying to? The ONLY ONE.

        “The ‘Birth to Three: Development and Intervention’ program is designed for professionals who have some knowledge of young children and their families and who are interested in the study of infant and toddler behavior and development, learning environments and curriculum development for very young children, and family-support programs in a variety of settings: childcare, early intervention, early head start, research, corporate and clinical settings.” Blah blah blah. Translation: You get a degree in BABIES. πŸ˜€ Then I can get a JOB talking about all this stuff you’re teaching me. And TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. MUAHAHAHAHHA! *cough* but it’s for the childrens…

        • admin says:

          ROTFL

          That’s awesome, though.

          • julierocket says:

            Yeah, but I’m going to have to blame you when I raise my hand in “HDF 560, Risk & Resiliency in Infancy” when they give out bad statistics on C-sections and breech vaginal deliveries and fluids leaking and whatnot. I’ll be all “BUT THIS LADY ON THE INTARWEB SAID”

            • admin says:

              Be ready with counter evidence, be the one in the class that the teacher grinds his teeth over ’cause you’ve always got more to say. Hehe.

              • julierocket says:

                LOL. Will do, ma’am!

                I’m trying to think of where I can work with this degree. I’m fascinated that I’ve spent my whole life obsessed with babies and the whole process of birth and I can actually STUDY it and have THIS, the thing I’ve always been EMBARRASSED about being so interested in, be the thing I DO with my life… but uh, is there a giant birth corporation somewhere looking to hire me someday? Where do you go with “Parenting Education” degree, or a “Infant and Toddler Development” degree? Easter Seals? Gar. Any ideas?

                • admin says:

                  Where your style of knowledge would be truly useful? I have NO idea.
                  You could try and see if you can run some sort of instinctual prenatal/parenting classes out of a birth center, or get in touch with local midwives and see if you have anything you could offer. Most parenting classes are painfully mainstream, and prenatal classes (those not run by doulas or midwives, that is) focus heavily on c-sections and drugs – unless they shell out hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for special interest seminars, most moms never even get a chance to see the other side.

                  • julierocket says:

                    Yeah, but I think I’d have to also have had a kid or two before I could tell people directly how to parent… even if I had a degree, it’s not the kind of thing you can really profess any sort of real knowledge on until you’ve been there, at least not without looking like a complete tool πŸ˜‰

                    I’m totally down with doing that once I have kids and they’re in school, though, when I’m ready to make some extra cash but not go back to work full-time or regularly part-time yet. I’ll have to see when I get thare, but it’s an idea. Hey, I’ve even toyed with being a lactation counselor, but yeah, DEFINITELY need to actually DO that first ;D lol!

                    Maybe there is some sort of job niche at a birth center or something. Hmm.

                • lost_almost says:

                  Maybe you could be one of those government folk who decide health policy.

  • maylea_moon says:

    πŸ™‚ hooray for curtis’ parents being happy about the news! πŸ™‚

  • devilgrrl says:

    I’ve seen that show! I thought it was fascinating. I haven’t had any luck finding it on TV again, though.

  • I thought that bubonic plague/HIV thing was interesting. Didn’t see the pregnant thing. That was exactly the situation with my SIL. Her water broke at 24 weeks. They put her in hospital on steroid shots. At 28 weeks she developed a fever. Baby born via c-section at 28 weeks, weighing in at a little less than 2 pounds.

    *sigh*

    Anyway, baby just celebrated her 10th birthday and she’s fine as frog’s hair, so all’s well that ends well.

    • admin says:

      But this woman *didn’t* get an infection, at least from what I saw, they just gave her steroids and then sectioned her.

      • The sad? enlightened? cynical? part of me is that I’ve gotten to the point where I question everyone and everything – past experiences included. Even my SIL. I mean, her experience was 10 years ago (and I wasn’t even in my husband’s life yet), and I wonder how much was “threat warning” from the doctors and how much was actual health risk. I keep thinking of this lovely girl I adore, and how glad I am she’s healthy and happy and smart, but how much MORE she might be had she been left to cook a bit longer! Who knows?

        All I know is that the medically necessary c-section rate hovers around 5-ish percent. Maybe a wee bit higher, maybe a wee bit lower. The actual c-section rate is 25 to 30 percent, higher even in some places. This tells me that at least 4 out of every 5 c-sections were not necessary. Every. Single. Time. someone tells me they had a c-section I immediately think, “Hmmm, 80% chance that wasn’t really medically necessary.” It’s like I’m in disbelief until they present evidence.

        Heh heh. You see what you have done?

        • admin says:

          See, I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. I mean it’s not like you’re screaming at every person you meet what is going through your head, but it keeps YOU informed, cautious and at arm’s distance. No one should ever take anyone’s word as gospel, kwim? I think it’s much healthier to question everything.

          • Who says I don’t scream?

            OK, sometimes I really think it loud, but I rarely scream. Takes every fiber of my being not to say, “What? Are you crazy?”. Being pregnant brings all the helpful people out of the woodwork.

            I promise after the baby gets here I will not tell stories to pregnant ladies. I promise!

            • admin says:

              Lots of people love to do the “I had a HORRIBLE birth, this is why you should watch yourself like a hawk” stories. I prefer to go the other way around and say something to the equivalent of, “I had this totally normal ‘complication’, but we didn’t even notice because it’s actually not serious at all! Thank goodness I was surrounded by sensible people or else I would have been c-sectioned six times over” (when speaking of my daughter’s birth, at least).

  • lilith_storm says:

    I can’t even watch those birth shows, makes my blood pressure skyrocket. Though, that cell defect would be cool to watch.

    • admin says:

      That one was pretty cool, it was about people way, way back surviving the bubonic plague… and how that happened, because it killed so many millions. They found this historic reference of this one tiny English village where there were a SIGNIFICANT number of survivors. Way way way more than chance would allow for. Plus, many of the family lines were still living there because the survivors intermarried and so on and so forth.

      They found out that there was this one strange cell defect that would give someone a resistance against it. A double dose (from both parents) gave immunity.
      14% of the modern people living in that village had this defect, and while that doesn’t seem like a lot: 0% of people in Africa and 0% of people in Asia have this defect. Plus you have to account for 450 years of genetic spreading as many of the families have since moved along. Back then this percentage was much higher, which accounted for the survivors.

      I missed a bit in there from putting Tempest to bed, but when I came back they were talking about how this defect gave a resistance to HIV, and a double dose gave immunity. They had this one guy who had two copies of this defect and when his blood and white blood cells were exposed to three thousand times the dose of HIV that it takes to infect someone, his cells never got infected. This defect makes you *not have* the ‘door’ that HIV would go through, so you can’t get it. They were saying how this is affecting their research against AIDS/HIV and looking into genetic immunity.

  • the_lissa says:

    I’m glad your nausea is more manageable.

  • *So* glad it went well with Curtis’ mom! What a load off your mind.

    As for the ticking infection magnet, I feel bad for her. My water busted and resealed 2x with Emma, 3rd time it busted we opted for the herbal induction (38 weeks and change) because it had been days and I couldn’t stand the sog any more. Selfish? Perhaps…I was also unaware that one could walk around ruptured for weeks on end and be safe. My midwife was pretty laid back and she didn’t even tell me that one.

    Iron Chef is DEFINITELY a better choice. I *heart* Iron Chef (but not so much Iron Chef America).

    You know, your nausea will probably start curbing a bit around now anyway…thank goodness for small wonders. Mine got more ‘manageable’ by around 15 weeks at the latest. Sure, my diet still ends up limited, but I’m not struggling to not pay homage to the porcelain god on a regular basis.

    Of course, about the time my menu choices open up again I get heartburn so bad that half the things I want to eat are off limits anyway. I can’t win.

  • timmytm says:

    If it weren’t for hanging around with all you OMG PERVERTED MOMFOLK, I wouldn’t know that checking the cervix for effacement means nothing. As if my knowledge of Vaginal bacteria (good and bad) wasn’t enough! Apparently the adage “Leave it alone” goes far more than I realized. (Foreskins, Vaginal health, babies…”

  • Sweet mother of pearl, Iron Chef is a *much* better choice. How can doctors go to school for so many years and come out with such a dumbed-down common sense?

  • timmytm says:

    Hrm, you’re at risk for infection. Let’s OPEN YOU UP AND HAVE A LOOK, SHALL WE?

    • Apparently hit the wrong button…doh!

      *LMAO* Makes perfect sense, let’s give the germs a straight shot to your system, why wait for them to find a way in?

      What’s scary is how it makes sense to everyone except those in the medical field.

  • jenrose1 says:

    I’ve been reading stories of other families with rare chromosome disorders and nearly crying at the ones that say, “The docs were worried because baby was small, so they did a c-section at 38 weeks. She just lay there curled up in a ball like she missed the uterus for the next 6 weeks and she was 4 pounds.”

    Shiny did as well as she did at birth because I cooked her as long as I could stand it. She would have done better if I could have physically tolerated another couple weeks, but I was slipping in my ability to oxygenate sufficiently.

    Then there are the ones… “baby had a weak suck and I was pumping and gave my milk in a bottle but was so stressed so I decided to shift to formula to reduce my stress. It took us 8 formulas to find one she could take.”

    It just makes me want to cry. Because I KNOW why they did it, and I don’t fault them for going that route, but for these kids, it’s just *THE WRONG CHOICE*.

    You have a baby with a weak suck? Move heaven and earth to make sure that baby gets breastmilk one way or another if you possibly can, because whatever is causing that weak suck, your kid is going to get even more than the usual benefit if you breastfeed.

    Baby small in utero? Maybe, just maybe, that baby won’t do better on the outside. Maybe that baby is better off getting absolutely as mature as possible before coming out.

    I’m with you on the induction “to save a life” when things are clearly in a reasonable facsimile of balance.

    • I vaguely know someone who’s baby was born early (32 weeks or so?) due to IUGR. I’ll never forget the pictures of how tiny that baby was.

      They found out when he was a year or so old that he had a rare chromosomal disorder characterized by slow growth, both before and after birth. I can’t imagine how much of an easier time they all would have had if he’d gone full term.

      I don’t know what the “right” answer is in situations like that. I imagine that, for a baby with true IUGR due to blood supply problems or something, it could be a lifesaving choice. But yeah, for some it obviously just makes things worse.

    • admin says:

      See, I have no doubt that some medical interventions save lives. I’m not 100% against everything. I just think this power is greatly abused in the name of liability, you know? πŸ™

      The midwife I had with my daughter had a preemie. 9 or 10 weeks early, I think. She said she pumped exclusively for 9 weeks before her baby finally learned to breastfeed, and as hard as it was she was so incredibly glad she did it that way. Her daughter went on to nurse for four years.

  • tikizeekbaby says:

    I agree with the fact that it’s the hospital that introduces the germs… when my water broke I went into the hospital and honest to god, was checked at least twice an hour… I started to feel like a finger puppet. We developed a fever about 4 hours after admission, I’ve wondereed if it was due to all the “checking” instead of the cold I’ve been attributing it to.

    I learned late into my pregnancy from my dad that my mom’s water broke 2 months (in September ’72) before I was born and her doctors let her go until my due date (November 22, ’72)… wierd how as time goes on we seem to get “dumber” as a society… I attribute a lot of it to lawsuits down here.

  • pinkgerbil says:

    just to share with you …
    When I met my husband he belived that all babies were born in hospitals , and bottle fed, and if you did anything else you were a freak and a pervert.
    His mom breast fed him, but he never knew about that .
    I have managed to convert him in the past few months (when he finaly talked about it , and having kids) to the thinking that breast feeding is normal , and births belong at home. I have read him alot of what you write about these things , and they have healped a great deal in changing his mind.
    You should write a book.

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