You let them watch WHAT?

In all the huff about children accompanying their parents to R-rated movies like “Passion of the Christ” and “Brokeback Mountain”, I can’t help but ask myself if anyone has watched any children’s programming lately. Sure, those movies have buttsecks and violence but some of the things designed for kids these days are like your worst (or best) LSD experience in scripted form. Watch Boobah one day and tell me there’s no sexual innuendo in those brightly-coloured martians. Go on, I dare you.

I don’t know how many people on my list are Canadian parents, but if you are, you’ve probably seen at least a smidgen of Treehouse. Treehouse is “worry free” preschool programming, meaning it has no commercials and the shows are aimed at age three and under. I’m told that there’s a similar channel in the USA that is some sort of off-shoot of Nickelodeon.
I watch Treehouse all by myself, after everyone has gone to bed. In case you were wondering. Sometimes I like to piss myself off – I feel rightous.

All the programs on this channel are 10-15 minutes long, so if you watch it for an hour’s time you’ll probably see about 75% of what it has to offer. This includes gems like “This is Daniel Cook“, a show about a rude red-headed boy with aspirations of world domination. Every time I see this show come up on my programming guide I ask, “How did this child get his own television show?!”. Throughout each short, he interviews various people, tries things, looks at stuff and plays narrator by occasionally freeze-framing and superimposing text over the screen that tells you exactly what he’s doing. You know, in case you’re blind and watching the show.
Every episode is jam-packed with television gold like, “This is Daniel Cook eating an ice cream cone”, “This is Daniel Cook getting a candy apple” or, “This is Daniel Cook licking cookie dough” which I’m sure will be shortly followed by, “This is Daniel Cook taking insulin”.
Don’t miss out! You too can purchase the exciting adventure: This is Daniel Cook making Gingerbread from Amazon.com.

Taking bets: how likely is it that a Daniel Cook will be watching these DVDs in his basement with some popcorn when he’s 40 and still single?

Or, what about “4 Square“? A show for choir school dropouts. The Four Tones are three women and a man who pretend they can harmonize better than the singing schizophrenic on the metro, humming tunes to equally absurd gibberish like “Celebrate the little things, life will see you through. Think about the little things you do, ba do, ba do wah doo waaaaah”. They interact with four neon muppets called the “Do-wahs”, for All You Watching At Home™, who look like they ride the short bus due to severe FAS and were treated with a bad hair transplant.
Each time they introduce a new song, they say in unison, “Remember: Do what the Do-Wahs do!”, and the muppets say, “Do what we do!”.
I attempted a google search for the Do-Wahs in hopes of capturing an image of their hideousness, but Google responded with: Did you mean: “do what they do what do”

*Google explodes*

They are followed by acts like the Beat Team who appear to be four teenagers with smiles unnaturally huge who attempt to beat-box with all the style and grace of a non-verbal three year old. Their masterpieces include, “Scritchy, scritch, scratch, scritchy! Zip, zip, zip, zippy!” Then they smile, showing glaring white teeth and haunted eyes that plead with viewers to support physician-assisted suicide.

But one of my all-time favourite features has to be “Deko Boko Friends“. This is some sort of series of Japanese shorts, and by short I mean 20 seconds, where one of a few lovable characters like Man With Glass of Iced Tea For a Head walks out into a stark white screen, sings off-key about how he jiggles when he walks and ice cubes falls out of what would be his brain if he were human, and then leaves. That’s it. I’m always left feeling like I’ve missed the point.
According to the creator:

“The twelve characters represent 12 types of personality traits. Each character is an amalgamation and condensation of traits found in a variety of people. The creators would like to see children develop tolerance and a broad-minded outlook that would enable them to accept each person they encounter. The concept uses the element of surprise to introduce this series of animated short stories.”

Yup, definitely missed the point. Probably missed it somewhere around the time I played the “Belly Boing Game” on their website where you bounce donuts and jellybeans into the mouth of an angry looking kid whose stomach hangs over the hem of his pants. Yay tolerance!

Max and Ruby. Now there’s a show I just don’t get. Despite my misgivings about it’s ethics, Tempest adores this show and I time her lunch to when it comes on so she can catch 15 minutes of it. When I turn it off, she cries “BUNNAH! Mo’ bunnah!”. Mo’ bunnah, mo’ problems, my dear.
Ruby is an eight year old white rabbit who is left in charge of her younger brother Max, who seems to be about two years old with a short term memory worse than my own. Hilarity ensues. Their biological parents appear to have been tragically killed in a lab experiment, and their grandparents, who live just down the road, don’t love them enough to want to adopt them. Instead they make brief cameos in holiday episodes, and spend the rest of their time locked inside their humble home making doilies. Because that’s what old people do.
Ruby is the sole caretaker of her toddler brother, and while it can’t be said that he gets into that much trouble… Ruby is a nightmarish automaton who never displays any emotion aside from “Amphetamine Happy” (which I’m sure will be added to LJ’s mood scheme any day now) even when pushed to the limits of her freakishly endless patience.
When I angrily squeeze my pilates ball for bicep curls, I’m thinking of Ruby.

The Big Comfy Couch is one of my least favourites. It’s formulaic to the point where I have to check my chin for wads of drool from the lobotomy I unknowingly received when it came on. Wake up and play with doll; do aerobics; go outside and interact with Major Bedhead, Communist Grandmother and Token Ethnic Character who is somehow blood-related to Loonette the White; go back inside, exclaim that there’s a big mess, realize it was you who made it and clean it up with “ten second tidy” which almost always takes 15+ seconds to complete; go to bed. Even my day is more interesting.
The “little girl” Loonette makes me uncomfortable the same way the two adult hosts of the station itself do. Adults, dressing up like teeny children and over-emoting to a point that would make five year olds exclaim “What the fuck?”, wearing an inch of makeup that is supposed to make them look like the toddlers they only wish they could be. I had a conversation with my friend a bit back where we wondered if their husbands ever ask them to “turn it on”. Adult-Baby-Fetish airs every day at 12pm and for five minutes between each short, don’t miss it!
My fears regarding Alyson Court’s creepyness were confirmed when I realized she did voice acting in the Resident Evil games. When she’s not entertaining small children by dressing up like a five year old clown she’s giving nightmares to teenaged boys. Now that I think about it, she’s talented enough to do both at once.

The Toy Castle. My mother caught a little bit of it the other day and said, “That’s sad.”
“What?”
“Some of these dancers are actually really good. Can you imagine spending a decade at a dance academy only to end up on this crappy television show enjoyed by two year olds?”
“… maybe they’re getting paid well?”
“You really think so?”
“Well, no.”

Between the shows is a feature called “Treetown”, hosted by the adults-as-babies I mentioned above: Rosabelle and Tansy. They play with dolls, talking Jewish Basketballs and identity-confused dogs while we wait for a new show to start. Sometimes they have singing guests on, like Sharon Lois and Bram. That was the highlight of my motherhood; seeing SLB perform again. Unfortunately they were accompanied by the frightening two as backup singers. Ow, my childhood. At least they didn’t ruin Raffi for me.

I think the only two shows I actually enjoy on this station are Pocoyo and Dragon. Both are done in claymation and are mind-numbingly cute. I’ve actually looked online for downloads of Pocoyo, and came up empty. Well, aside from finding out that apparently he’s some sort of a “thing” in the gay community. I want a Pato of my very own.

– Babs

Comments

comments

Categories: Uncategorized

109 Comments

  • jynxgirl says:

    OMG! You’re the ONLY person I know who feels the same way about Max and Ruby!!! I effin hate that show!!!!

  • I’m in Ontario and have had the misfortune of catching Treehouse. Everything you just said has ran through my mind before. Especially the adults-as-babies thing. It’s a bit creepy. I mentioned this to my sister-in-law and she just shrugged and said, “Well, it keeps the girls quiet for the morning.” Ugh.

  • ms_erupt says:

    The only children’s show that really irritates me is Reading Rainbow. No better way to get kids reading then to sit them in front of the TV so that they can watch a show about it.

    Well, that and Barney. Just because my older brother and young cousin took love of that show to scary heights.

  • aelf says:

    My 2 yr old LOVES the Charlie and Lola books. One of the things thats nice about the Charlie and Lola shows, is they don’t involve super-loud-screaming-voices. Most kids shows are so L O U D!

  • sarmakala says:

    This was a GREAT post! It almost makes me glad my 2 y/o broke our TV. Except for the fact that the TV wasn’t even hooked up to any programming, just for videos…

    My 5 y/o watches some of the annoying Dora and other crap on the laptop in the mornings while I try to squeeze in a few extra ZZZ’s. nickjr.com has lots of the videos from their TV programming online…

    I think I liked it better when she watched the “My Humps” video with me after you mentioned it… I had to look it up! Now she tries to sing it, and she only watched the video ONCE! lol

  • lolacat says:

    I’ve only read Max and Ruby BOOKS… and I like them. The author (Rosemary Wells) is really lovely… I love her books about Timothy, who’s a very shy and scared little boy, and there’s a great book called YOKO about accepting differences.

    I hate it when TV shows adapt great kids’ books and mess them up.

  • lol…this is the best post ever! ITA,Canadian TV sucks!
    The kids I care for always want to watch Tree House and it makes me want to claw my eyes out

    There is only a FEW shows I dont mind such as Angelina Ballerina and the Berenstein Bears!

    Other then that, the Big Comfy Couch, Blues Clues, Dora, and This is Daniel Cook make me vomit..lol, oh and dont forget The wiggles! there’s nothing like 4 grown men prancing around in bright coloured t-shirts!

    haha, you brought new humur to crappy canadian tv! πŸ™‚

  • _tzigane says:

    This was a glorious review. Roper and Ebert couldn’t have done better.

    I remember watching the big comfy couch when I was young and even then I knew something wasn’t quite right when she acted like the hands of a clock and moved in provocative positions… like-a-clock-would?!?

  • That Boobah site makes me want to get high soooo bad.

  • 4492 says:

    Good God. Am I really so old that I have virtually no idea about most of the programes everyone is talking about? What happened to Kipper? And Rosie and Jim? TinyTots or whatever it was? Spot? Thomas The Tank-Engine? Maisy? They should put The Magic Roundabout back on. And Smart, with Morph. And Art Attack…OK, mebs I just wanna watch kids TV again.

    Agreeing with the scaryness of Boobah. I thought the Teletubbies were a bad idea and that was when I was…what, seven? Wise before my years my friends!

  • richtermom says:

    Stuff we like:

    D’s fav: It’s a Big Big World, featuring Snook, the animated sloth Deadhead leftist.

    My fav: Jack’s big music show on Noggin. Okay, it’s kind of mindless, but it’s cute, and it has music. So I like it. The link includes some video clip offerings.

    K’s favs: Okay, she sings along with a bunch of them. She has kissed the TV when Steve from Blues Clues was on, or at least I hope it wasn’t that over-made-up condescending Joe guy. She sings along with a bunch of stuff from Dora, Ruby and Max, Sesame Street and uh, yes, Scoobie Doo. We are doomed.

  • ruethee says:

    This was a fantastic post. The Big Comfy Couch was on when Morgynne was a baby and she liked it while it drove me nuts.

    She also liked Barney, and I had vowed that no child of mine would ever watch that disgusting, insane show. One day when she was 7 months old, she was in my lap fussing, which was unusual for her. I was flipping the channels looking for a cooking show. She stopped fussing for a second then started again. I flipped back a couple of channels and lo and behold it was Barney. She sat there at 7 months old enthralled with the 20 minutes left of the show. I snapped a picture because I was so shocked.

    That day I became convinced that there is something wrong with children’s shows if a baby is pacified by them. Too creepy.

  • bardocka says:

    Aaaargh…4 square makes me want to disinfect my brain. If Ruby were my sister I would kill myself, she’s a wench. Did you forget The Wiggles? I have no words.

    I actually don’t mind Toy Castle, the clown makes me laugh in a pathetic kind of way. My son and daughters go to the School of Alberta Ballet so it was a big deal when that show came out. Now that I think about it, it seems kind of silly to say, “look what you can be if you do well in ballet!”

  • the_waker says:

    I’m so, so glad we don’t do the TV thing until after Autumn’s in bed. That shit is scary.

    The Boobah page almost made me cry. Surely that’s a joke, right? People don’t REALLY want thier kid’s minds altered to think that’s reality at such an early age? Do they really think their little brains aren’t affected?! I mean, I did acid a few times, but I was over 18. And it was scary enough for me.

  • lalicopa says:

    I want to bitch slap Daniel Cook. I do end up singing the theme song ALL freakin’ day long though.

    Don’t you guys have The Doodlebops up there?

    Boobah = wart-covered fat male genitalia…I’m so with you. At the same time, I’m strangely entranced every time I catch a glimpse of that show. I swear, it’s something subliminal that sucks you in (hoping it’s not the abovementioned genitalia!)

  • julierocket says:

    You know, even when I was a kid and I watched shows like Eureka’s Castle and all that shit on Nickelodeon I still had NO clue what was going on and I thought it was weird even then… so I wonder how many of these kids are watching these shows but secretly thinking, “WTF, mate?”

  • admin says:

    Pato is a character on Pocoyo, he’s in my icon.

  • birthingway says:

    There is almost nothing on Treehouse that Phoebe will even tolerate, and I am with her.

    She likes me to sing the “George Shrinks” song in my best man-jazz-standards voice (don’t ask) but doesn’t like the show.

    My favourite kids’ show on TV is Poko (9am CBC where I am). I heart claymation.

    And…
    Taking bets: how likely is it that a Daniel Cook will be watching these DVDs in his basement with some popcorn when he’s 40 and still single?

    LOL!

  • the_lissa says:

    Ha! I actually watch Treehouse by myself sometimes too. I’ve never seen those shows though except for pocoyo, which I love. The ones that are on when I watch are Play with Sesame, Global Grover, Elmo’s Wolrd, Dora (blech), etc.

  • Anyone remember the Friendly Giant? Or am I really old? (And Canadian).

  • satinworship says:

    When I used to smoke pot, I stumbled across Teletubbies on t.v. for the first time and couldn’t make a lick of sense out of it. So a few days later I watched it again, perfectly straight and I still couldn’t make a lick of sense out of it.

  • mommaof5320 says:

    I am so glad that someone else HATES daniel cook and thinks that he is a rude little self important brat. Everytime he comes on I want to stab my eyes out. /rant

  • codeman38 says:

    (Here via …)

    I, too, do not understand what the deal is with “Boohbah.” (Or “Teletubbies,” for that matter, when that was the craze.)

    “The Big Comfy Couch” creeped me out when it made its appearance on PBS here… for much the same reason you mentioned. Loonette should be enough to give anyone coulrophobia, as far as I’m concerned.

    Haven’t seen “Deko Boko Friends,” but I’d be far more inclined to expect that sort of sheer randomness from something made in Japan than something made in the West.

    Oh, yes, and “Barney and Friends” was far too saccharine for me even when I was in grade school. And this is from someone who actually could stand Mr. Rogers at that age.

  • azazl says:

    Ok, I am probably a terrible parent but…My kids LOVE Spongebob. I find it amusing as well, my son (5) has seen the movie maybe 1/2 a million times, I still laugh at David Hasselhoff. We watch Bambi a lot too which always makes me cry. My 3 year old daughter loves Dora (I could just about kill myself if I hear the map song or the backpack song one more time)

    • admin says:

      But SpongeBob is an abomination unto the lord!
      Seriously, you should read the reviews for it at Christian Fundie sites.

      • julierocket says:

        Hahahaha. I LOOOOVE Spongebob. My 12-year-old brother and I used to curl up on the couch together and watch it religiously. We need to do that again, I miss it. That show is awesome. It’s a lot like Powerpuff Girls… a funny show for kids with a lot of subtle humor that kids tend to miss but adults can appreciate. It’s HILARIOUS.

      • azazl says:

        Yeah, I know Spongebob and Patrick are cuddly friends…so they must be promoting homosexuality, after all two males can only be friends if they spend their time beating each other up right? Does anyone remember how Bugs Bunny used to cross dress and woo Elmer Fudd; And all those deep smooches they gave each other? Must be responsible for all the transvestites and trans-gendered folks today. Definately the work of the Devil.

  • butsecks makes me giggle! (there was also a screaming 3 year old when I went to see Brokeback Mountain :/)

    But I agree. My dear SIL has not said a single swear word since my nephew was born. He’s 6 months, and is highly entertained by the TV (for 5 minutes). So much so that he won’t make you walk him around for a little while. Anyways. Daniel Cook made her head explode and she said “what the FUCK?!” terribly loud.

    My fav (of the good ones) is a series of 5 minute shots including a Chihuaha and a fat purple cat. The dog bounces off of the walls, saying things in English or Spanish. “I’m going to make lemonade!”. The fat purple cat goes “Que?” or “What?!” and the dog repeats himself in the other language “Ay, Dije que voy a hacer limonada!”. Its too cutee. Its called Perro y Gato – on HBO.

    Iced Tea Head Man frightens me.

  • How could anyone ‘ruin’ Raffi? I used to make fun of him when I was a kid. One of our friends was on one of his album covers, ha ha ha.

    I wish they had Peep and the Big Wide World here. That show is fun and has a cool theme song.

    Cerys watches Between the Lions, Mr Rogers (ugh), bits of Sesame Street, Arthur sometimes, Postcards from Buster sometimes… She has a few DVDs, and that’s about it. She’s learned the whole alphabet from a single DVD that she got for Christmas, so it’s not all bad and gives me a break. πŸ˜‰

    It’s so cool how she turns the TV off when some crap comes on and says varieties of “We don’t want to watch that crap.” She actually has watched that crap [anything computer animated, like Bob the Builder and The Big Big World (which has sappy songs to boot), or just characterless like Maya and Miguel] and decided with me that it’s crap. I say “Mr Rogers is crap” and she says “No, meety woddy not cap”. The discerning 2 year-old. She’s going to bury us all! πŸ˜›

  • tattooedmama says:

    Honey, im with you on every point in that. ESPECIALY big comfy… WTF?

    And the belly boing? Yeah, lets encourage children to think that people that are heavier eat nothing but doughnuts and jellybeans. yay,, feed the fat kid!
    oi.

  • julierocket says:

    … I actually “LOL”ed. Well done!

    I hate children’s television programming. Just give me Peanuts and the Muppets. Those I love. πŸ˜€

    • admin says:

      Do you remember the Muppets Tonight? I loved that show. I mean, not exactly a kids show… but I still loved it.

      • julierocket says:

        YES. It’s one of the few shows I’m planning on letting my kids watch in the perfect bubble I am constructing for them in the Fyooture. Muppets, Peanuts, and Thomas the Tank Engine because I think it’s adorable. And Winnie the Pooh, too. πŸ˜€ The Muppet Show wasn’t exactly geared towards little little kids, but who says shows for kids have to be dumbed down? Kids are smart, they figure stuff out. Like you said, Curtis is reading Tempest the HP series and she loves those πŸ˜‰

  • bluekermit says:

    If I ever have a kid, I’m selling the tv…

  • richtermom says:

    OMG. Yeah.

    Back before I was even pregnant, (wait, was there ever such a time?) I babysat a friend’s kids, and they locked out most of the cable channels and made sure the older kid never let the younger kid watch Max and Ruby. “Because it gives him ideas.” I shrugged it off, figuring “Oh, my kid won’t even WATCH tv when I have one.”

    Uh.

    K would rather watch Max and Ruby than Sesame Street in the morning. She’s 2.

    We do watch noggin and pbs kids. (Noggin is the Nick offshoot, almost wholly commercial free. PBS does their little corporate sponsor blurbs for the first two minutes of most hours.)

    Dekko Boko friends made me finally rave “I HATE THAT, IT’S SO FUCKING STUPID” one morning, and I almost twisted my own head off realizing that my mom used to say stuff like that all the time and it pissed me off and made her seem ignorant. So yeah. Iced Tea Head and absurdly stereotypical japanese lady and the whole gang really really annoy me, but at least I don’t swear about it in K’s presence.

    K loves Blues Clues and Dora, and evenings after her bath we do watch Sesame Street. Oh, and she loves Maisy, too. This all sounds like all she ever does is watch TV, which is an exaggeration, but sadly, yeah, she does watch more TV than I’d prefer. But none of us are early mroning people, and it’s a compromise, and later in the evening, after she’s been playing with daddy and the kids at the sitter’s all day, she does get a little tv time.

    After Sesame STreet on PBS Kids (we have cable; pbs has branched out to like four pbs stations in some markets,) there’s a show called The Big Big World. DH LOVES THIS SHOW. Seriously. He wants to write fan letters to the lead character, an obvious deadhead Sloth who is so gentle and accepting and wise… Last night the episode was about how the egomaniacal Burdette (the bird) declared herself Queen, and how some of the characters followed her mindlessly except for the mellow but critically thinking Sloth, the wise librarian-scholar Turtle and the tai-chi practicing monkey, who helped research what being a queen ant really entailed — effectively ending the bird queen’s reign.

    D thinks that since he loves that show so much and since it’s obviously HERETICAL AND ANTI-CURRENT US REGIEME that it’ll be cancelled Very Soon Now.

    • admin says:

      Sweet.

      And yeah, it does make it sound like kids watch too much – but as I said if you catch an hour of this station you’ll see 75% of all it’s programming. Even 15-30 minutes three times a week would eventually have you make the entire rounds.

  • sillyboho says:

    i try to watch stuff with substance. we like curious buddies, blues clues, and read between the lions. i rent dvd’s from the library, so no commercials.

  • cariad2 says:

    This is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

  • i laughed out loud multiple times while reading this post. brilliant!

    and “the big comfy couch” always gave me the creeps as well, though i have to agree with theprophecygirl about “maggie and the ferocious beast.”

  • filkertom says:

    I be an Olde Pharte. And I remember with great fondness the days of The Friendly Giant and Mr. Dressup. Now those shows knew how to combine imagination, whimsy, and making learning fun.

  • Anonymous says:

    Noggin is the US Nickolodeon offshoot, and it runs from 5am to 5pm in our time zone. Then there’s NickJr, which has some overlap in shows, but with commercials. We also get Sprout, which is 24/7 kids programming snagged from PBS. It has better shows, but the interludes are hosted by someone purporting to be Melanie, who I’m sure is really Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster).

    I wonder if Oobi is the reason Alex talks to my foot. Seriously, she talks to it (and about it) as if it were a real person named Foot. Foot (apparently a boy) holds whole conversations with her, gets hugs and kisses, is asked to carry things for her, and sometimes gets carried by her – with me hopping along behind. If Mom is too boring, “I want talk to Foot!” “What Foot doing, Mommy?” “What you doing, Foot?”

  • karenkh says:

    I went to see SawII one day and there were a couple of ladies there with their 2 and 3 year old kids…entranced by the blood and gore.

    I loved “Once upon a hamster” and that’s about it. Most kids shows are pretty inane, and I’m not familiar with Pocoyo or Dragon…hm…

  • Oh man, I was reading your post out loud to the hubby and we were both laughing out loud, agreeing with every word. There are some weird shows out there for kids!

    Monkey likes Oobi, he’ll have ‘conversations’ with Oobi and Keiko using his hands, especially during bathtime. He’s using his imagination, so it’s a good thing though, right? Thankfully his main video/TV is still Thomas the Tank Engine, so I can steer away from the mainstream Kid’s Programming on Noggin.

    The Boobahs…*shudder* Monkey’s playgroup went to a pizza buffet place once for lunch, and they had a TV playing. When the Technicolor Scrotums came on, all of the kids stopped, looked at the screen with a ‘WTF is that?!?’ expression. Then ran for their respective parent. We asked them to change the channel.

  • altarflame says:

    Ok, Canadian television sounds terrifying!

    The only two shows I’ve ever heard of from this post are Boobah and Big Comfy Couch. When we turn on PBSKids it’s Reading Rainbow, Sesame Street or Between the Lions (which cracks me up and entertains me…). With the occassional allowance of DragonTales.

    I think all the weird, uber annoying kids’ tv is on NickJr, the parallel to Treehouse that you mentioned.

    I’ve been wondering about you. I hope you’re alright.

    • admin says:

      Reading Rainbow makes me happy. πŸ˜€
      I love Levar Burton.

      • altarflame says:

        What’s really awesome is the reruns from the early 80s where he has a big fro and a bad moustache and does things like go to the roller derby. Those episodes rock. But…have you noticed the man never ages o_O They’re still airing brand new ones and he looks so…so…young.

        I saw one crazily dramatic one recently where they talked about kids with parents who are in prison, and this one family went to visit their dad in jail and he admitted to them that he was in there for shooting someone. The oldest boy was disgusted and stormed out. I was like, um, wow, big departure from the bread factory…

        Anyway. I hope you know I love you as you take your turn dealing with things. You can still call. I’ll still get on. I’m sorry I’ve been too busy to BE on without a call.

  • karenkh says:

    Boobaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—scary PCP ride

  • Oh man, I was starting to wonder if I was the only one wondering where Max and Ruby’s parents are. They show that on Noggin here, and I’ve been known to turn it off when the music cues, much to Cordie’s dismay. Be very, very happy that you don’t have “Oobi” – talking hands that speak as if your children can’t understand actual sentences.

    The only show we’ll ‘remember’ to let Cordie watch on Noggin now is “Maggie and the Ferocious Beast”, a cartoon about a little redheaded girl who explores NowhereLand with her imaginary friends Hamilton and Beast. A million times better than Dora The Annoying.

  • well, this post has made me happier than i already was that we don’t have cable tv!

    echo doesn’t watch tv *ppbbbtttttt* πŸ˜› but kailleah was a tv addict by age 2…with her it was public kids television and mighty morphin’ power rangers. quality tv!!

  • on_a_hill says:

    Have you ever seen Calliou!!????

  • beantree says:

    When we used to watch PBS kids tv in the morning, Tess would ALWAYS turn off “Comfy Couch” when it came on. She thought it was creepy. Good call, kiddo.

  • faeriesongs says:

    I cannot STAND Daniel Cook! We figure his father has to be some big hot shot in order for him to get his own show, because there is NO WAY that he would have one otherwise.

    I also cannot stand Treehouse. My family always puts it on for my daughter and it makes me so angry. The “treetown” part is makes me cringe. I feel like I’m losing brain cells just watching it.

    The only thing I let my daughter watch on Treehouse is Dora since she absolutely adores her.

  • We gave up on any sort of cable or local-access television back in May, and for the most part have not regretted it. My son still gets his doses of Dora and Diego at my mom’s house, but here it’s videos only.

    I think that the Boobahs look like giant circumcized baby penises. They freak me out.

  • I used to watch the “Fred Pander Show” and “Mr. Dressup” on Canadian TV. Mr. Dressup was thinly disguised pedophilia, and old Fred was just a horrible singer/songwriter. Aaaah, the good old days!

  • azdesertrose says:

    The only one of these I ever heard of is “The Big Comfy Couch”; my daughter used to have a Molly doll.

    What’s wrong with good old Sesame Street, I ask? *grin*

    • Even Sesame Street has been so dumbed down lately. They moved the target age back a few years, so they dropped most of the fun clips (like “Letter B”) and replaced them with more Elmo and more simple stories that 2-year-olds can follow.

      • azdesertrose says:

        Bleah. Elmo annoys the everloving crap out of me.

        Guess I’m out of touch, seeing as my kid is 13 years old. *grin*

      • codeman38 says:

        Yeah. I remember turning to Sesame Street a few years back just to see how much it had changed from when I was a kid… and… Elmo. Ugh. He was only a bit part on the show when I was a toddler, and I much preferred it that way even then!

        And they’ve largely gotten rid of the ‘commercials’ for letters and numbers, too. That was one of the most creative parts of the show… how could they do that? And Elmo’s part of the show is this long, extended thingβ€” I think the reason I enjoyed Sesame Street so much as a kid was because it was formatted so well for my ADD mind, and now they’ve thrown that all to shreds. :-p

        (Here via …)

    • admin says:

      EHL-MO!

      Well, Sesame Street is not the same for a few reasons: first of all, everyone died; then they got rid of the Count because he was a racial stereotype (of dracula?), and got rid of Bert & Ernie because they were gay, and then got rid of ten thousand other aspects, revamped the whole thing into a super boring PC show called “Sesame Park” and no one wanted to watch it anymore.
      I still enjoy ye olde Loony Tunes.

    • ruethee says:

      good old sesame street, exactly.
      i miss the sesame street from when i was a kid.
      i can’t watch it now, it’s crap like the rest of them.
      we just don’t watch TV period, now.

  • luminously says:

    This was a FANTASTIC post. I could talk forever about children’s shows.

    First off…my kids are not allowed to watch (1)Barney, (2)Teletubbies, (3)Boobah, or (4)Lazytown. All four shows give me the HEEBIE JEEBIES. I find Barney to be “downright annoying”, Teletubbies to be “demonic-scary” (lol), Boobah to be “freakish and LSD-ish/a bad hallucination”, and (4)Lazytown to be SCARY AS HELL. & I know that Lazytown has won awards and such for promoting healthful-living in its storylines, but I DON’T CARE. The characters (both human and computer-generated) are SCARY and physically make me recoil. I cannot bear to watch that show.

    There are much better things to watch…Bear In The Big Blue House rates HIGH on my list. Little Bill. Little Bear. Dora The Explorer (my daughter’s favorite). I like Calliou, even though he is a WHINY brat half of the time (“I DON’T WANT TO!!!”). Oobi is very cute, even though I don’t understand why the characters never use helping verbs in their sentences.

    You hit the nail right on the spot w/your commentary. I like watching Max and Ruby even though it’s a MESSED-UP show. WTF is up w/those two? Where are the parents/guardians? Max is the worst lil troublemaker ever (dude, he seriously looks evil-DEVIOUS w/his shifty eyes) and Ruby’infinite fountain of patience is downright WEIRD and maddening. I want to smack them BOTH upside the head (and this is coming from a parent who does NOT believe in corporal punishment). Your “Amphetamine Happy” description of Ruby honestly made me LAUGH OUT LOUD.

    The Big Comfy Couch…is just stupid. I catch quick snippets of it when I turn to other channels. It’s just DUMB.

    & I could go on and on.

    & you are just terrific in every way.

    β™₯

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